My sister is getting engaged but my mom doesn't want her to

So, is the father's attitude consistent with the mother's disapproval? It seems like it's just the mother's reaction, but sometimes fathers also quietly guide or support mothers. Is there a dual pressure on your sibling? That’s something to consider as well.

Does the fianc\u00e9's silence bother the sibling as much as it does the fianc\u00e9? This is something to consider. Because if they aren't bothered and can't advocate for themselves, how much do they really own their decision? Perhaps silence comes easily because they are truly caught in the middle.

Has your brother ever asked his fiancée, "Why isn't your family doing anything?" Or has it even crossed his mind to ask? If such a fundamental issue isn't being discussed in the relationship, what kind of foundation will it have in the future? Ignoring this is not a solution.

Mom doesn't want the fiancé, but what's the reason? Has your sibling ever asked this directly? It’s important to genuinely try to find out the reason without pressuring them with "You're meddling in my business." Maybe mom needs to hear that something she said is silly or inconsistent, or maybe she has a valid concern. But without concrete information, simply taking sides will complicate things even more.

She doesn't want it, but what is the familial position of the fiancé's side? Are they directly involved, or are they completely passive? Because the balance between the two families is critical here; if only one side is resisting, the situation could go in a different direction.

Everyone has seen the fiancée's family being in the background as a burden, but perhaps the fiancée's side specifically didn't want to be included? Sometimes, the family's involvement in the process creates more chaos than it solves problems. Is the fiancée's neutrality a strategy, indifference, or is it hard to tell? Which one is it?

Perhaps the issue is not so much that the fiancé's family is in the background, but rather that the mother is uncomfortable with this situation. In other words, is the mother worried that "as long as this family remains silent, my daughter will bear more burden"? Because even if the fiancé's side is strategically silent, the mother might perceive this as "indifference." Can your sibling sense this concern of the mother and reflect it to the fiancé? That is what matters.

Is the mother's disapproval entirely rooted in personal discomfort, or is there a specific complaint related to the fiancé's demeanor or attitude? Sometimes, things like upbringing and family background draw an invisible line; no one speaks openly, but everyone maintains their distance. This vague tension could also affect the fiancé's side, because the more silent they remain, the more the other side may be perceived as "distant." If no one is willing to take the first step, this situation will only become more tangled.

If your mother finds her fiancé's family quiet or indifferent, this situation might stem from a negative experience she had in the past. Could she have previously had issues with a "distant" family and been affected by that? In other words, the problem may not only be about the current situation but could also reflect a prejudice she carries from her own experiences. Have you tried talking to your mother about what she has gone through in this regard?

If the mother's unease is only about the fiancé's family, that's a bit strange. Shouldn't she be focusing on her own children? After all, they are the ones getting married, so why does the "in-law family" become such an issue? Is the mother's main concern really the fiancé or his family? Has a clear answer been obtained on this? The situation looks very messy.

Isn't it strange that your mother is making such a big issue out of your fiancé's family instead of his? Since your fiancé's family is in the background, your mother might be overly focused on it. But then the question can be raised: what kind of bond exists between your sibling and your fiancé that is so susceptible to these external influences? Is the main issue outside or inside?

Perhaps your mother’s reluctance stems more from a lack of trust in your fiancé himself rather than in his family? Some mothers come from afar and think, "his family is quiet, the engagement will break, my daughter will be left alone," but in reality, they don’t like the person. They don’t say this outright, but indirectly blame the family. Therefore, it’s essential to really understand your mother’s true intentions.

If your mother is criticizing your fiancé's side, could this be a way of sending a message to the fiancé? In other words, she might be implying not the family itself, but rather the deficiencies of the fiancé. Something like, "Look, I can't see your family as a support or a backing; your responsibilities are greater." Your mother might not be speaking directly, but is this a sort of indirect pressure?

Leaving aside the silence of your fiancée's family, what I'm really curious about is this: Can your brother talk to your mother about these concerns regarding his fiancée? Or is there a complete wall between them? Because if there's this much tension, either communication is weak or everyone is hiding something. Which is it?

How much does she not want it, then? Is it just a simple unease or is it at the level of "this won't work"? Because not wanting something is one thing; trying to block it is another. I think your sibling should also make their position clear; we need clarity here.

Mothers sometimes experience their intuitions in a way that is hard to articulate. Maybe there’s a deeper suspicion about your fiancé’s demeanor or behavior, but she doesn’t dare to explain it, instead circling around the concept of "family." So, in an environment where your mother isn’t present, is your sibling really comfortable with the fiancé, or are there signs of discomfort? Sometimes things that are unnoticed from the outside are felt by a mother but can’t be expressed.

If the mother's concern is a "silent, indifferent family," it's important to clarify what this silence and indifference really mean. Is the family being distant, or are they being overly cautious to avoid conflicts? "Silence" is not necessarily a negative thing; they might be retreating to adjust. The real issue is how the mother interprets this situation.

If the issue is being handled through the fiancé's family, could it actually be a matter of dishonor? I mean, are the "quiet, indifferent" comments a bit too related to expectations? Perhaps the lack of a clear stance from the family unsettled your mother; a perception like "they're not taking my daughter seriously enough" might have settled in. This means your sibling should provide a bit more explicit support to the fiancé. From your mother's perspective, the fiancé's side should appear stronger in order to stabilize the situation.

If your mom is this focused, maybe she's trying to get the fiancé's side to take some action instead of staying silent. I mean, she keeps saying "the family is uninterested," but perhaps she expects a small visit, a phone call, or some other form of interest. Otherwise, this could grow, and it might cool off the fiancé and your mom too. I think your sibling should explore this possibility a bit.

It seems like they're getting caught up in the fiancé's family, but if there’s a concrete issue with the fiancé, why doesn’t she bring it up directly? Have they sat down and talked openly with your brother? Or is everyone just beating around the bush? This much uncertainty isn’t normal.

On one hand, it seems like your mother is hitting at the family, but is she actually testing your fiancé? Like, "let's see if you can handle this relationship even if you don't get support from your family?" Maybe she's expecting a clearer stance from your fiancé than she does from your brother. It would be good if your brother discussed this openly with her, because if this attitude continues, your mother could become quite cold.

A mother being this invested might indicate that she expects something from her fiancé's family. But we also need to consider the mother's past experiences. Has she ever had issues with family before, or does she have a bad memory associated with it? Sometimes, old matters are unintentionally carried over into new situations. Has your sibling ever tried to talk to your mother about these things?

A mother’s silence may be perceived as "indifference," possibly linked to her own sense of self-worth. In other words, it’s the feeling that these people are not enough for us, that they are not welcoming my daughter as they should. But the real question here is, where does the brother's fiancé fit into this balance? Does she take on a role that defends or balances her family, or is the situation solely revolving around your mother and the fiancé's family? Because if the fiancé is not present, everyone gets more tense.

Does your fiancé's side have silence while your mother's does not? Has she said anything directly to the fiancé or his family so far, or does she always speak through you? Perhaps if she expressed some things openly, this issue could have been resolved before it got this big.

So how is the balance between your mother and father in this process? Does your father not get involved at all, or does he support your mother's stance? Because sometimes, in situations that seem one-sided, there may be a common opinion or silent approval lurking behind. If your father is also keeping his distance, the situation cannot solely be attributed to your mother's sensitivity.

The mother is placing the blame on the fiancé's family, but could there be a personal hesitation regarding the fiancé? I mean, if this family indifference is just an excuse, then the real issue might stem from the fiancé's character. Otherwise, family is something you see during holidays and celebrations, but the person you'll be dealing with every day is the fiancé. Has the mother ever directly mentioned anything about the fiancé?

A mother's fixation on the family might be a test to see her fiancé's stance behind it. But if the fiancé remains passive regarding this, the mother's insecurity may have increased. It seems like it's become necessary for her brother to ask the fiancé, "What do you think, are you aware of the situation?"

But setting aside whether your mother is right or wrong, isn't it disturbing that your brother's fiancée is remaining so silent? If there's a crisis, shouldn't he be managing it? I think his passive stance could create even bigger problems down the line.

The silence of the fiancé's side is just as important as the intensity of the mother's reaction. Families may have pulled back too much, perhaps to let things calm down. But if the mother is being this stubborn, the other side's trust in this relationship could also be shaken. Is your sibling able to see this balance well?

The bride's side may criticize the mother for being "silent," but do they have any complaints about her indifference as well? Sometimes both sides wait and think, "Let them take the first step for us," and end up at an impasse. Or is it just the mother's control reflex at play?

Could it be that the mother's engagement with her fiancé's family is not about feeling superior, but rather the opposite — feeling inadequate? Perhaps she carries a fear of falling short or of being seen as inferior when it comes to her sons. She might never directly address or express this, but it's something that she's grappling with inside. Have you ever noticed if your brother has recognized this sensitivity in your mother?

Is the issue only related to the fiancé's side, or does it arise throughout the wedding, preparations, the entire process? If there's a general control problem, the issue may not be in the fiancé's family but in the way the mother sees herself as the center of this event. Does she have a habit of interfering in everything?

If all of the mother's objections lead to questioning her brother's decisions, the real issue may be related to how the brother can earn the mother's trust. In this case, it's more important whether the brother is standing his ground rather than the fiancé. If the brother remains silent in the face of the mother's desire to control everything, what can the fiancé do?

If your brother's fiancée is being quiet towards your mother, could this be part of her character, or is it a "let my fiancé handle it, I won’t get involved" mentality? If she has this stance from the start, she might behave the same way in other matters in the future. Is your brother prepared for this, and does he accept someone like her as a partner? He should really think this through.

A lot of thought has been given to the "silence" of the fiancé, but there's also this: maybe your brother's fiancé doesn’t want to have direct tension with your mother at such an early stage? Since every intervening person is seen as a "party", the guy might have withdrawn from the start to avoid being labeled as the bad groom. In this case, the responsibility lies with your brother, not the fiancé. Instead of expecting the fiancé to calm her mother and act as a bridge to facilitate communication, he should handle it himself first.

So, are your mother's objections about the fiancé purely personal, or does she also have a fear that your brother won't be happy? In other words, is the issue that she doesn't like the fiancé's family, or that she thinks your brother is making the wrong decision? I think it's important to separate the two.

Even if the mother's illness is personal, doesn't projecting that onto the engagement cause your brother's relationship to progress under stress from the beginning? In other words, getting engaged shouldn't look like a "war of the families." Has there ever been a conversation where you sat down with your mother and reminded her that this process is about your brother's life, and he will bear the consequences of his choices?

If Anne is reflecting her discomfort so much during the engagement process, regardless of the reason, how is your brother reacting to this? Is he in a "let's just cope" mode without any attempts to calm down mom or set boundaries? Right now, your brother's attitude is more decisive, because if mom continues this behavior, there's a possibility of it escalating into bigger issues in the future.

It could also be a matter of whether the fiancé's side has taken a step to help the mother relax. You know, sometimes big issues can be resolved with a small gesture by saying, "We're only going to meet once in a blue moon, let it be," and just letting it go. Has the fiancé's family ever thought about doing something to win the mother over? Maybe even a tiny step could break her resistance.

Is it right to wait for a move from the fiancée's family to change the mother's attitude? If they do that, won’t the mother’s sense of being "vindicated" get even stronger? I think the problem lies in the boundaries of the mother’s interference, and it cannot be solved with an external gesture.

Since the mother doesn't want it, involving the fiancé's side of the family is a bit risky. If things don't go well one day, they'll blame the fiancé by saying "it was obvious from the beginning." Your sibling should first clarify their own boundaries and convince their mother that this relationship is their own decision. Otherwise, they'll always find themselves stuck in the middle.

But could the reason your mother doesn't want the fiancé be somewhat related to cultural differences or the feeling of "not being one of us"? If so, shouldn't there be a serious discussion about these differences beyond just a small gesture from the fiancé's side? Otherwise, something that starts with a little resentment can grow bigger.

I think it's a problem to move on to the engagement without resolving your mother's attitude. I mean, an engagement means "it's all set, a step has been taken" for both sides. But if your mother is still questioning the engagement in her mind, it can hurt not just the process but the relationship as well. Your sibling needs to clarify with their mother before the engagement; otherwise, these underlying issues will explode later on. Have you directly asked your mother, "Why are you so against this?" Sometimes a hidden answer comes up there.

Isn't it strange that the mother is so directly against the engagement but the reason is still not fully understood? Have you or your sibling ever asked, "If this engagement doesn't happen, won't you want someone else?" Maybe the issue isn't just about the fiancé but rather a desire to interfere in your sibling's life in general. If that doesn't happen, it could explode over something else.

It's hard to move forward without understanding why your mother is so strongly opposed to this engagement. But let me flip the question: How is your brother's fiancée affected by this situation? Has the guy noticed your mother's discomfort, and if so, has he said anything about it? Because not only is family behavior important before the engagement, but the fiancée's attitude matters too. If she remains passive, it will be more difficult for you in the future.

If your fiancé knows that your mother is so firmly against it, why isn't he taking a step? Is he just watching this situation from the outside, or does he have any efforts to find a solution? If he has the mindset of "It's their problem, let them deal with it," then the dynamics of the relationship are already strange.

So, did your mother clearly express anything against this engagement, regarding the fiancé's side or the relationship in general? Or are indirect reasons always being presented? Because if the main problem is not on the surface, no matter what you do, you might not be able to please your mother.

Maybe your mother isn't directly saying why she is against it because she doesn't fully understand it herself. Sometimes people feel an instinctive discomfort but can't rationalize it with a logical reason. Have you or your brother tried sitting down with your mother and talking in a logical rather than emotional framework? It might be necessary to dig deeper behind the answer "I don't like it, so I don't love it."

Is there a bit of a deviation in the "instinctive discomfort" part? I mean, if a person clearly shows such a strong opposition to someone, there must be a reason behind it. Maybe it’s something that isn’t being expressed, or perhaps something that can’t be said openly. Is there, for instance, an underlying competition or resentment between your sibling and your mother? The discomfort might be more directed at your sibling than at the fiancé.

Did you ask Annene if she has any reservations about her fiancé's family? Sometimes the issue may relate more to the individual's surroundings rather than to the individual themselves. She might be thinking, "This family shouldn't receive a bride," but may not be able to express it.

Perhaps the mother has an objection not to the fiancé but to the pace or the nature of the process. Could there be a perception that "a decision was made without consulting anyone in the family?" Sometimes, a person gets caught up more in the process than in the event itself. Has she ever said anything about this?

Maybe your mother saw or heard something but is reluctant to speak about it. There are many people who hold back for fear of gossiping to the neighbor or causing tension in the environment. Have you ever tried to bring up the subject indirectly with your sibling? If it doesn’t come out in a one-on-one conversation with your mother, she might remember something said with your sibling.

So, is your mother clearly opposed to the engagement, but is there a change in her behavior towards your brother in daily life? Is she, for example, more distant, cold, or more intrusive than before? Because if there's a problem with the fiancé, she might reflect that in her attitude towards your brother, and you could catch a clue from there. Otherwise, you wouldn't understand if the situation is entirely based on image or a personal issue.

Did the mother have an opportunity to meet the fiancé in person? In other words, is she reacting based on something she heard from someone else or her own assumptions, or is there something she actually observed? Because comments made without a personal acquaintance usually stem from prejudice. If you could clarify that part, you would progress more solidly.

Was your mother perhaps more focused on the question of "who has the upper hand" during the engagement? If there is a secret rivalry for superiority between the families, could she be thinking, "our side will be crushed"? Has there ever been an environment where this was discussed?

Could the mother actually have a reaction not to the fiancé but to the idea of marriage? For some mothers, the thought of their children growing up and leaving home is something hard to accept. She might be trying to express her reaction not directly in this way, but through the fiancé. Has she ever gotten hung up on something related to her sibling's independence during this process?

Could something the mother experienced in her past relationship dynamics or during her marriage trigger such a strong reaction? It seems like she might be projecting not the fiancé but rather an event she herself went through. Could there be a protective reflex towards her sibling in this situation?

Is she noticing a feature in her sister's fiancé that she lacks, or perhaps the opposite — a deficiency in him? You know how sometimes people might say, "the guy is nice and all, but that doesn’t quite suit him," hinting at a subtle yet clear discomfort? Has there ever been such a remark made?

Did she perhaps feel some kind of discomfort regarding her fiancé's family? You know how sometimes a financial or emotional imbalance or incompatibility stands out, and people say, "the guy is good, but his family is difficult." Could she have implied something like that?

Could your mother also have a concern regarding her position within her own community? You know, the social circle of the fiancé's side, their jobs, the reputation of their family—could these create a worry in your mother's mind about whether it might "humiliate us"? Generally, in such reactions, the concern about "what others will say" plays a significant role.

The reason the mother is against it is conveyed through the engagement or the fiancé, but is there a reaction to her sibling's decision-making process? In other words, it might seem to the mother that the decision was made quickly, thoughtlessly, or inadequately. Has she ever explicitly said anything about this?

Does your mother have any resentment or conflict with her brother? Sometimes in such situations, she uses the engagement or fiancé as an excuse, but the real issue may be that there is an unresolved matter between them. Have a conversation and find out what your mother’s real concern is.

Maybe your mother is acting this way due to the impact of an event that happened recently in her life or in yours or your sibling's. You know how sometimes a loss, a disappointment, or a situation that makes one feel inadequate can cause people to react very strongly to other things. Has something like that happened in the family recently?

If she says she doesn't want an engagement but is still in contact, she might be holding onto a card up her sleeve. Is she bringing it up often, or is it just a couple of instances? If she's quietly pulling away, it could mean she's expecting something much bigger in this process. Is someone confusing her?

Is there a possibility that the mother is looking at the situation not from the engagement perspective, but rather through the dynamics post-wedding? Have you ever considered that she might have a longer-term forecast, like "this boy can't handle marriage" or "my daughter will be unhappy"? Sometimes the issue is more about what happens after the engagement, but no one openly states this.

I think your mother's reason for not wanting it may not be related to her fiancé; perhaps it's a reflection of something she can't control in her own life. So if there's such a reaction, the engagement or marriage might be a pretext. Is there another situation apart from your sibling where she has felt "my words are not being listened to"?

Is it the engagement she doesn't want, the fiancé, or the whole process itself? Because sometimes these kinds of things trigger her own dreams that she missed out on or couldn't achieve in life. Does something about her sibling remind her of her own past?

So, could the reason your mother doesn't want it be a completely personal conflict with the fiancé's side? You know how sometimes there can be an underlying discomfort or a longstanding grudge between families that hasn't been noticed before? Maybe something from that side's past behavior broke your mother's trust, and you're completely unaware of it. Has this kind of situation occurred?

If your mother is saying she doesn't want the engagement or the fiancé without providing a clear reason, it may relate to a power balance. Does she have a control concern like "it won't happen if I don't approve"? How is your mother's relationship with your sibling generally regarding these matters? Have there been similar "it's my way or the highway" outbursts before?

She doesn't want an engagement, but she's not directly pressuring her brother, right? I'm not quite sure, but this situation seems a bit like she's trying to leave a "lesson to be learned." Could she be expecting something to go wrong during the engagement process?

He doesn't want the engagement, but if he's staying in touch, it seems a bit passive-aggressive. I mean, if he were really bothered by the situation, he wouldn't act so indirectly; he would just leave. I wonder if he's keeping his distance to resolve the issue through something other than the engagement?

We need to think about the mother's attitude in terms of timing as well. What was her general mood like before this engagement issue came up? Has there been anything else in her life recently that could have caused her stress? Or did this reaction only surface when the engagement was brought up? Because sometimes the issue isn't really that event, but rather it explodes in reaction to that event.

I think your mother might be feeling like she's living the last big chance to influence your sister's life right now. Is she afraid that after the engagement, the girl will be completely "one of them"? Do you think she feels like she's losing control entirely? She might be panicking because she feels like things are slipping away from her all of a sudden.

It's interesting that the mother reacts this way when the engagement process starts, but could there be some concerns regarding the family of the fiancé? You know, like opposing cultures, financial differences, previous statements, etc. Is it more of a discomfort directed towards the surroundings rather than the fiancé directly? It seems like there could be a theme of "am I going to give my grandchild to this family?"

She doesn't want the engagement, but she hasn't outright opposed it either, as if she is silently waiting for things to unfold. This situation can sometimes happen with the instinct of "let the elders decide." In other words, let things go wrong, but let it appear as if it was her idea. Is there a moment in your family when she has said something like "I told you so" about a marriage-related issue before? The timing is very significant because.

I think the reason your mother doesn't want the engagement might be based on the family structure, lifestyle, or a past impression of the fiancé's side, but she seems unable to express it clearly. If she's reacting silently without saying anything directly, it could mean she's hesitant to say something or she's not entirely sure of the reason herself. Have you thought about sitting down with your sibling to question what your mother might have heard about the fiancé and his family? Because sometimes, even a comment or something heard from the outside can create such distance.

Could it be that your mother is fixated not on the fiancé but rather on the speed at which your brother makes decisions, or perhaps on a perception of "it happened without asking us"? In other words, is it less about the child or their family and more about a feeling like "things went ahead without our opinion being considered"? Because in these types of situations, pride sometimes comes into play, and there is an expectation of respect. Has she ever said something like, "is our opinion not important"?

Maybe the mother is not looking at her daughter-in-law, but rather at what kind of person she is alongside her son. In other words, how much can the girl remain herself in her new home? She might be thinking, "Does she live entirely according to her husband's rules?" Does the mother have any concerns in this regard, and has this topic ever been brought up?

Maybe the issue isn't the family structure of your fiancée's side, but rather how your brother is handling this relationship? For example, does your mom feel like your brother is making some of his marriage-related decisions "too influenced by him"? Has she ever expressed something like, "He should think for himself, that's not my view"?

Maybe your mother is uncomfortable with something she saw in your relationship with your fiancé. You know, a small gesture or a word might have given her the feeling that "this isn’t going to work with this guy." Has anything happened that irritated your mother when you were with your fiancé?

Could the mother have reservations about the financial situation of the fiancé's family? For example, a fear like "The girl will either be crushed among them or will struggle to meet their standards"? These things are generally not stated outright but are reflected in behaviors. Has she ever said something like "How will our girl fit in there"?

Could Annen perhaps be fearful of disagreements that might arise among families during wedding preparations? You know, like those matters of who will cover what, how much contribution will be made, and so on. Has there been similar tension before? Older people tend to get hung up on these kinds of things.

Does the mother not want the engagement or the post-wedding arrangement? Sometimes people worry not before a big step, but after it. Have topics like where they will live with your sibling or whether they can build an independent life together ever been discussed?

Perhaps the reason your mother doesn't want it is not because of the fiancé's side, but rather her fear of losing control. In other words, a feeling like "I'm losing my daughter, she won't consult me anymore." Has your mother ever reacted this way in decisions made regarding your brother's life?

Can the bride's family be upset with the groom's family for some reason? Maybe something happened in the past, even a very small issue, but they've kept it inside. Is there some strange situation dating back between them?

Okay, could your mother think that she has intervened excessively in your sister's engagement process? I mean, is it not just pressure from the fiancé's side, but does she have a perception like "our girl cannot make her own decisions"? Could this stem from an issue of self-confidence?

Could the bride's side be disturbed by cultural differences? You know, the things that are often unnoticed in everyday life but they might think in the long run, "this doesn't match with ours." For example, simple but important details like eating style, seating arrangement, or way of speaking. They usually don't express these kinds of things openly; have you noticed anything like that?

The reason the mother doesn't approve of the fiancée could also be a direct personal issue. For example, it could be an attitude of the fiancée that she dislikes, a conversation, or something she heard from the past. Have you ever noticed your mother being cold during her direct contact with the fiancée?

Maybe your mom says she doesn't want the engagement, but her real concern might be about a problem she sees in your brother's relationship. So, there could be a mismatch or issue she noticed during the engagement process, but she might not be able to express it directly. Did your brother and your mom sit down and talk calmly during this process?

Could a mother be looking for the things she missed in her own life in her children's decisions? I mean, thoughts like "it wasn't like this in my time, so it shouldn't be like this now." Does she make small complaints to you about her own marriage or youth?

Could a mother think that the engaged party is not to blame in such a situation, but rather that her brother made a hasty decision? Does she have concerns like "they haven't really gotten to know each other yet, it's too early for such things"? Have you ever asked her what specifically bothers her so much about it, and encouraged her to open up?

The mother’s reluctance may stem from projecting her own disappointments onto her sibling as a kind of "protective behavior." But sometimes this protection turns into over-possessiveness. For example, how did her own marriage go, and what did she experience during that process? Does she ever talk about it? There might be a clue to be found there.

Could the reason the mother is reluctant be related to the fiancé's family? I mean, did you get the sense that there’s some distance or hesitation directed more at the family than at the fiancé? Generally, these kinds of things aren’t stated openly, but if you pay a little attention to the dynamics between them, you might catch a clue.

The reason mothers may not express their wishes sometimes doesn't come to light until the wedding preparations. Could it be due to financial issues? They might be thinking, 'How will they cover the expenses? Will they go into debt?' and not openly stating it. I suggest you talk to your sibling to find out if your mother has any concerns.

Perhaps the mother's concern is not individual or cultural, but rather a fear of losing control. It's a feeling of "my daughter is getting married, she'll connect with another family, I won't have any say anymore." What else is changing in the mother's life right now? Is she experiencing a general loss of control, not just due to the engagement?

Maybe your mother is wondering whether your fiancé can handle the responsibilities of marriage. You know, concerns like "This guy seems nice, but can he support a household? Can he establish a stable life?" Have you ever talked to her about financial matters or future plans?

Sometimes mothers say they don't want something, but in fact, they are uncertain. So they can't really say a clear "yes" because it's more of a feeling than a concrete problem. From what I understand, your mother isn't very straightforward; so who is speaking on her behalf? Are her comments about the fiancé coming to you in indirect ways? Are phrases like "What will the neighbors say?" or "Won't it be rude to the relatives?" being thrown around? Sometimes the discomfort is also hidden in the pressures coming from outside.

Maybe your mother doesn't think the fiancé's side is suitable for her family. You know how sometimes there are thoughts like "It doesn't match our culture"; instead of saying it directly, they imply it. Has she ever expressed any discomfort regarding customs or traditions in passing conversation?

You mentioned concerns related to your fiancée's family's side, but could your mother have a desire to impose something on your brother's fiancée? I mean, a mindset like "I would be happy if it happens the way I say"? Have you thought about whether she has created an "ideal spouse" profile in her mind?

Does she not want her fiancé or the idea of the wedding? Sometimes people react not to the person, but to the whole event. For example, to the idea of her daughter getting married and moving out; were you able to make that distinction?