My sister is getting engaged but my mom doesn't want her to

Is it that your mother doesn't want you to be engaged just yet, or is it that she wants you to avoid such a serious commitment at this early stage? Sometimes there might be thoughts like "it's not the right time, they're rushing into it," but they might not want to say that. Could your sibling's age and how long the couple has been together be a factor in this?

The mother's attitude towards the engagement is clear, but how does the fiancée's family approach this process? Perhaps the mother is uncomfortable with something regarding their attitude but can't express it. Is there a hesitation like "if they're like this already, who knows what will happen later"? Did you ask her about this?

The reason your mother doesn't want it is not clear, but how does your sibling approach this situation? Do they engage in an open conflict with her, or do they try to find a middle ground? Sometimes the real issue is not the mother, but rather how your sibling manages this situation.

Is she reacting against her fiancée or is she responding to her brother's decision? In other words, is the issue not personal compatibility, but rather questioning her brother's choices? Because sometimes the problem arises from a lack of trust in the other person.

Did Annen try to talk directly to your brother? I mean, did they sit down together and openly discuss the engaged side? Sometimes when everyone chimes in, it turns into a lot of chatter instead of addressing the main issue. It seems a direct confrontation is necessary.

Your mom doesn't want to get engaged, fine. But this situation can't be resolved without figuring out the reason behind her not wanting it. For example, is there a guarantee that she loves her fiancé? A person can quietly accept a situation they don't want. So now, let's not interpret your mom's lack of response as acceptance. We need to dig deeper.

So is your mother just saying she doesn't want it, or is she providing a clear reason? Maybe the issue isn't about the engagement or marriage, but rather about another situation in your mother's life that she can't control, and she's projecting that onto this issue. Have you ever thought of it from this perspective?

Maybe your mother thinks your brother is making a big mistake with this decision, but she doesn't know how to talk to him about it. Could it be that she has a feeling of "this won't work out," but it's not directed at the fiancée? For her, it’s important to sit down seriously with your brother and find out your mother's concerns.

Did someone from the family badmouth the fiancé? You know how sometimes someone from the neighborhood or a relative spreads rumors, saying "that kid is like this or that." The mother takes it seriously but can't tell you. I think you should check if there's any gossip coming from around.

She doesn't want it, but is she taking any steps to cancel the engagement? Or is she just expressing her dissatisfaction and withdrawing? Because if she just walks away saying "I don't want it," this isn't really a serious stance; it's merely about creating expectations. Focus on her true intentions.

What if the mother's unwillingness is rooted in her own regrets about her life? Like a sentiment of "I didn't do so-and-so back then, so she shouldn't do it now." It may not be a reaction towards the fiancé, but rather towards the process that is unfolding. I suggest you reflect on this.

Your mother doesn't want this, but if your sibling is still going ahead with the engagement, who holds the real power balance here? Should your mother accept that she has no say in such a decision and step back, or does she have an authority that can exert this much influence over the engagement? A decision needs to be made about this first.

So are you going to break off the engagement just because your mother doesn't want it? How serious is your brother, and how much does he trust his fiancée? Is your mother going to soften up, or will she get even more tense during this process? Do you have a plan?

Your brother has chosen his fiancée, the engagement will take place, that's clear. But why is your mother's reaction still a mystery? Hasn't it been asked directly? Or is everyone just avoiding the topic? Moving forward with this uncertainty is really silly.

The issue won't be resolved without directly learning what the mother's concerns are. But there is also this: if she says "I don't want it" without knowing the fiancé, it could be more about her reaction to a situation that is outside of her comfort zone than the individual himself. So the issue isn't the person, but the fear of change. Is your sibling aware of this, and are they ready for such a conflict? This needs to be discussed.

One must also consider other people who will be impacted by the mother's reaction. It's not just about the mother not wanting it, but also how she reflects this attitude onto other family members and relatives. For example, is the fiancée's family aware of this situation? It may not just be a matter of "not wanting it." If you don't resolve this chain, bigger confusion may arise in the future.

I would ask directly. If they turn the topic to you instead of answering, there’s already something fishy there.

Is the mother's reaction purely emotional, or is there a tangible reason that affects the fiancé or their relationships? If she doesn’t mention something concrete, whether she yells or cries, this matter will continue to unfold. But if it is tangible, then we might need to think about whether she could be "right" in her concerns.

The part about the mother not wanting it seems very superficial. So why doesn't she want it? Is it out of selfishness, does she have a logical reason, or is it purely personal preference? If you don't clarify this, we can't even say who is right or wrong between your mother and your fiancé. If your sibling isn't breaking off the engagement, they must know something, but it seems like there is still missing information on your mother's side.

It's necessary to examine whether the reason for the mother's disapproval of the engagement also affects your relationship with your brother. In other words, is this just about the engagement, or could it be a distrust towards your brother or a habit of interfering with his decisions? If so, even if the engagement ends, the same issue could arise in another context.

As much as it's important to consider why the mother doesn't want the fiancé, it's also significant to see how the fiancé is reacting to this situation. Does the man have a stance, or is he in the "let it not concern us, whatever happens" mode? Because if this situation carries on into marriage, it could lead to bigger problems down the line. What position is the fiancé taking; have you discussed this?

Has Annen provided a clear justification, or is he just constantly evasive, saying "I don't want to, that's enough"? Because sometimes people exhibit such a harsh and closed stance because they can't come up with an excuse. In this case, it seems everyone is talking as if they're trying, but no one is taking a step forward. I recommend just letting it go and confronting the issue openly.

Even if your mother is insisting on her "I don't want it" stance, if your sibling is insisting on their decision, it's also necessary to consider the long-term outcome of this conflict. That is, whether your mother will change her attitude in the future or how effective her position will be is an important discussion. Does maintaining the relationship require winning your mother over, or will you completely ignore her and just focus on your own path? Is there a clear choice between these two extremes?

How is the mother's reaction resonating with the fiancé's family? Because the issue is no longer just between the two parties. The fact that the fiancé is starting off in such a tense manner could turn into a situation that they might perceive as disrespectful in the future. In this environment, is everyone guaranteed their role, or is one side consistently giving in and playing it down?

Why might the bride not want the fiancé? Could it be a financial or family issue? Is it a situation that directly targets the fiancé, or is it a resistance to the idea of engagement itself? Because sometimes people experience discomfort from broader reasons rather than personalizing the issue. If you clarify this distinction, the solution will also become clearer.

You say that your mother doesn't want it, but is your fiancée so defenseless that no one questions your mother's attitude? I mean, if the other parties – including the fiancée – aren't doing anything, it just seems like the issue is solely placed on your mother's shoulders. There is a relationship in question, so why is everyone else remaining silent?

Is your fiancée's family not reacting at all to the situation, or are they unaware? Are they being kept out just because your mother doesn't want them around? If a man's family can remain silent about such matters, their way of resolving issues in the future might also be problematic.

If she doesn't want it so clearly, is there something in her past that she experienced or heard related to that family or fiancé? Sometimes there are things that happen that can't be explained or that boil down to "just trust me". Have you tried asking directly, "why don’t you want it, say a clear reason"? Maybe something you never thought of will come up.

If your mother doesn't want them, it's worth considering if she has a good reason, but sometimes these situations turn into a matter of pride. For instance, how is your fiancé's family getting close to your sister knowing that they don't want your mother? Will everyone be able to sit at the same table in the future, or have both sides already started to undermine each other? I think it's worth checking on this.

Your mother doesn't want the fiancée, but how is her relationship with your sibling? Is there any conversation or sharing between them, or is it just pure stubbornness? Because sometimes the issue isn't just the fiancée, but also the mother feeling excluded and all. Could you maybe balance things a bit?

The part about not wanting your mother is very clear, but how is your fiancé responding to this situation? Is he trying to win over your mother, or is he completely ignoring her? In other words, is the silence here creating a problem that everyone is ignoring, or is the fiancé somehow contributing to this tension?

Your mother doesn't want it, that's fine, but how is your fiancé's family behaving? Normally in a situation like this, shouldn't they try to approach your mother by saying something like "our son's happiness is important"? If they are completely withdrawn or indifferent, then this might not be as serious as they think.

So, is your mother speaking solely for herself in this "not wanting" situation, or does she have support from those around her? Sometimes it's not just one person, but the core group behind them that influences such ideas. Also, has she ever directly addressed your fiancé and talked to him, or is she always going through third parties? This is important too.

If your fiancée or family is being this silent, maybe it's not that your mother simply doesn't want to, but that she doesn't trust this silence. So is the issue not your mother's stubbornness, but rather a lack of trust due to the passivity of the other side? Is there really communication between them, or has everyone withdrawn to their own corner?

The issue of silence is indeed correct, but perhaps your fiancée's family is thinking, "Let's avoid your mother completely, she will eventually accept it over time." This is actually a show of strength. It seems like no one has had the courage to clearly say, "Whether we like it or not, let's put it out there." So can we say that this matter is built on a solid foundation?

So, has the fiancé's family ever met in person to talk? I mean, have they tried to get to know each other over tea or coffee, or have they always stayed in separate corners? Sometimes, in situations like this, everyone gets stuck because of the question of who will take the first step, and the situation escalates.

If Anne doesn't want it, has she clearly stated the reason? Or is everyone just speculating based on their own guesses? Because I don't think we can get anywhere without clarifying that reason.

You say that your mother doesn't want this, but where does your brother stand in all this? Is he showing any resistance against her attitude, or is he brushing it off thinking "it will get better with time"? Because if your brother isn't taking a clear stance, the issue may not be with the fiancée but with the lack of communication.

If your mother's reason for not wanting this was stated directly but there hasn't been any search for a solution nevertheless, I think this situation is a bit difficult. Because when the reason is clear, your fiancé or their family should have taken this into consideration and made a move. If no one has ever turned around and asked, "What can we do to remove this barrier?", it seems there is a real lack of seriousness here.

Everything is fine and dandy, but if there's a situation where the engagement will be broken because your mother doesn't want it, why is your sister getting involved in this from the start? I mean, if she's so compatible with her mother, she shouldn't have started this at all. Now she's exhausting herself and the other party, and in the end, it's all turning into a big mess. It's unclear how firm and determined your sister is about this.

It's one thing for the mother to not want this, but it seems like the fiancé's side has never intervened. I mean, isn't a family that doesn't show a stance of "we want this" shaking the mother's confidence? Or could the passive attitude from the other side be reinforcing the mother's stubbornness?

Does your brother see the lack of steps taken by his fiancée's family in this process as a problem, or does he perceive this situation as normal? Because it seems like everyone is expecting something, yet no one is stepping up to the plate. Isn't this passivity in itself a sign of discord?

Did your fiancé's family behave distantly from the very beginning, or were they pushed into this situation because of your mother's attitude? I couldn't understand. Because if it was a "cold distance" relationship from the start, then both parties' intentions are questionable. But if things turned around after your mother's attitude, then it seems that no one is willing to resolve the misunderstanding. So how will this knot be untangled?

You often can’t come up with a solution without really understanding the reasons behind mothers' refusals. It's said that "there's something stuck in her mind," but they don’t clearly express what that "thing" is. Try to get to the root of your mother’s real issue through some indirect questions. Otherwise, everyone here is just guessing.

Whatever the reason for the mother's objection, at some point, the fiancé's family should have developed a stance against it. So, the issue is whether it's about the mother's stubbornness or their silence; that's something to discuss. Both sides seem to have stepped back; so where does the sibling position themselves in this situation? If they normalize this silence, then the problem is already significant.

The crux of the issue seems to be whether the mother trusts the fiancé's side or not. It's not just about not wanting it; there might be a concern of, "If I give my daughter to this family, will they stand behind her?" This needs to be understood. Is the mother's attitude completely unreasonable, or does she have a valid concern that the other side hasn't made any effort to address?

the key person here is your sibling. So did they say to their fiancée, "someone from your side or yours needs to do something to mend things with my family"? Or are they just quietly observing? Because setting aside your mother's concerns, no one will take a clear step without understanding how your sibling is handling this.

It seems that the issue is your mother's reluctance, but in reality, the problem is that both sides haven't built trust with each other. So, has your fiancé's family ever thought about sitting down and talking with your mother? If no step like "Our intentions are serious, we will take good care of your daughter" has been taken, isn't it normal for your mother to be suspicious? Is your sibling noticing this lack of communication?

There's so much talk about whether the "fiancé's family should take a step or not," but where is your sibling's fiancé in all this? We're debating what their family will do, but the real question is their stance. Are they at the center of their own relationship, or are they also thinking "let the families figure it out"? If they remain silent, that's an even bigger problem.

Is your fiancé really someone who makes their intentions clear, or are they just observing everything from the sidelines with a "I don’t want any trouble" mentality? Their passivity during such an uncertain process is the biggest question mark in my mind.

The mother doesn't want it, the fiancé's side is silent, your sibling seems to be normalizing the situation. But I got stuck more on the fiancé's family here. During this process, at least not wanting to talk to the mother while saying "there's no problem on our side" didn't seem very sincere to me. Is a bride request incident really that much of a "formality"? Maybe your mother isn't buying it.

I don't understand this: did your mother never want it from the start, or did this coldness arise because of the attitude of the fiancé's side? Because if there was a problem from the very beginning, why did they take this relationship so far? If there's a lack of trust that developed later, why didn't the fiancé and their family notice it and take steps to resolve it? In a situation where these two scenarios intertwine, everyone blames each other, and the real issue always remains up in the air.

How does your brother view his fiancée establishing a more active connection with the family? I mean, if his fiancée says, "What would my mom say if I talked to her?" does your brother support that or does he say "never mind"? Is he also wasting an effort to ease the situation? He seems to be in a very passive stance.

Everyone is making comments about the fiancé's family in some way, but there isn't a clear reason for why the mother doesn't want it. Has it been like this since the first day of the engagement, or was there an event or gossip that sparked this? Maybe there's an unspoken issue, is the mother being open about it?

The reason for the mother's disapproval is stated to be unclear, but her sibling's relationship with the fiancé should also be examined. The mother may feel something about her daughter's fiancé that she is not currently expressing. Do you think she finds the bond between her sibling and the fiancé strong and trustworthy? Or does she perhaps have an instinct like, "this guy can't handle my daughter"?

Maybe your mother doesn't actually not want it, but she feels excluded since the beginning of the process? Has your sibling's fiancé or their family ever asked for her opinion, like "what do you think, do you approve"? So the issue might not be about unwillingness, but thinking that she is not valued.

I think there’s a detail that is often overlooked regarding the mother’s refusal, which is this: Is this "refusal" really directed at the fiancé, or is it more of a protective reflex towards her sibling? Maybe she doesn’t see a clear problem with her fiancé, but rather fears that her sibling might "lose their place" in this relationship. In other words, the fear of losing her daughter could be exacerbating the issues in the relationship. Have you ever talked to your mom about it from this perspective?

Your mother doesn't want it, but let me ask this: Did your fiancé's side ever react to your mother's attitude? I mean, did they come and say, "Why is there such a coldness, can we talk and resolve this?" Sometimes the other side looks at it very superficially, thinking "it'll pass somehow," and they don't insist, which prolongs the situation. If both your fiancé and his family are inactive, your mother's reluctance might also turn into stubbornness.

Is it cold to the fiancée's family, or to the fiancé himself? Because sometimes the issue is entirely about the man's character or attitude, and the family is just an excuse. Does the sibling realize this, or are they completely blaming it on your mother?

How much does the fiancé's side know that your mother doesn't want this? In other words, was the situation openly discussed between them, or is everyone just writing their own scenarios in their heads? Such silent tensions sometimes grow out of completely misunderstandings. You need to sit down with your mother and clarify "what are you expecting," maybe the issue isn't even as big as you say.

So does your mother only not want the fiancé, or does she generally not want this marriage? Because sometimes the issue is not with the person but with the timing. No, if it were up to your mother, would she want you not to marry anyone at the moment?

Who is the one handling the engagement issue? Is your sibling more active in this matter, or is it their fiancé(e)? Because sometimes it's easy to say "they didn't want us," but they might actually be staying passive while silently fueling their mother's reaction. Is the fiancé(e)'s side taking this seriously and making a real effort, or are they just observing the process?

Let's put aside the reasons your mother doesn't want this, but how is your sibling behaving in this process? I mean, do they make an effort to find common ground with your mother, to communicate? Or do they just say, "She doesn't understand me," and pull away? Because if there's no effort from either side, this will just turn into a stubborn standoff.

You need to sit down and have a clear conversation with your brother about your mother not wanting this. Does he really love his fiancée and see her as a life partner, or is he in this relationship just to take a step? Because mothers sometimes understand their children's hesitations without them saying anything; they may struggle internally, but since it's not openly expressed, it gets labeled as "not wanting." Is your brother being honest about this?

Your mother might not want the fiancé, but I think your brother's actions also play a role here. For instance, does he stand strong and decisive enough in his relationship with the fiancé? Because if your brother appears hesitant in this relationship, it makes your mother's disapproval more significant. Whether your brother is clear or not might be shaping your mother’s perspective as well.

Why doesn't your mom want it? Is there a clear reason, or does she just say, "it doesn't sit right with me"? Because if there's nothing concrete, it could be based entirely on a personal hesitation. Is your sibling really that disinterested, or have they misunderstood the situation?

I think the issue also relates to whether you truly understand why your mother doesn't want it. To be frank, sometimes in such situations, "intuitive" reasons can't be articulated, but there is a serious sense of danger lurking in the background. Is there a fear from your mother, a detail you've overlooked? Have you really examined this? Because it's crucial to grasp what someone who says "I don't feel good about it" might be going through.

How is the attitude of the fiancé's side apart from the mother's disapproval? In other words, are they developing any communication in response to the mother's concerns, or do they make any efforts to mend the situation? Or are they entirely in the mode of "we are right, whatever she thinks is irrelevant"? Because sometimes all the burden falls on the brother, but the attitude of the other side can change a lot.

Has it been considered whether your sibling is mature enough to build a long-term life with someone your mother doesn't want? Because sometimes the issue isn't on the fiancé side, but rather whether your sibling is truly ready for such a life arrangement. Your mother's concern might lie here.

We say now that your mother doesn't want this, but the fiancé's side seems to be talked about as if they are completely absent in this situation. How do their family elders handle this process? Do they have any efforts to take a step or find common ground in the face of your mother's concerns? Because if this is only revolving within your family, it already indicates an unhealthy balance. Is the other side's silence working in their favor, or do they just not care? Think about it.

But with your mother's objections so clear, why has the engagement progressed this far? Wasn't it discussed at all in the beginning? Now it will be even harder to go back and fix things; everyone might become stubborn. It would have been better if it had been resolved earlier.

Your mother doesn't want to talk about it, but didn't your brother's fiancée ask anything about her? Don't they wonder what's bothering her? Because if the relationship has progressed this much, it seems they've completely overlooked getting your mother's opinion. It's strange.

Well, your mother says she doesn't want it, but in this process, does she have a concrete problem related to her fiancé that goes beyond just "I don't want it"? For example, issues like trust, financial situation, behavior patterns, etc. Or is it completely based on feelings? Because if it's based on feelings, it's also important whether the fiancé knows these things and if he has found a way to express himself. It seems like your mother isn't engaging in any dialogue.

When saying "I don’t want to marry her," is it just the term "fiancée" that he opposes, or is he perhaps challenging the life arrangement it represents? In other words, the issue may have transcended the individual and become about the matter of "the life established with someone like her." If such a generalization exists, one might also ask whether the societal norms imposed are involved in this.

Your mother doesn't want it, but does your father have an opinion on this? Or other family members? Because in such situations, it's usually only one person's objection that gets talked about, but what the others think quietly establishes a balance. We should look into whether the only issue is your mother, or if everyone agrees.

Have you ever talked about how your brother can express his thoughts when caught between his fiancée and your mother in such a situation? Is his stance clear, or is he just being carried along by the events? Because if he can't defend his own decision, this tension could lead to bigger problems in the future.

Do you see the mother's refusal as purely an emotional reaction? Perhaps there is a situation where she is concerned about her fiancé's family or surroundings. Sometimes a person may not want to say something directly or may not be able to fully explain it, but acts on intuition. Have you talked in detail with the mother in an impartial manner? Is there anything else besides the individuals involved?

But does the issue really have to revolve completely around her because your mother doesn't want it? This is your brother's life, there is a relationship that has come this far to the engagement. No matter how right or wrong your mother is, no one has to live according to her approval. The real question is, why does everyone stop just because your mother said no?

If the mother doesn't want it, hasn't the fiancé discussed this at all? Or did your brother explain the situation to them clearly? Because if the fiancé feels this neglected from the start, how will communication with the mother be in the future? It seems a bit unplanned from the beginning.

Even if the fiancé's side has talked about this, if your mother hasn't clearly stated her reasons for not wanting it, what are they trying to solve? Is everyone playing a guessing game? The questions asked to the mother all revolve around "what is the reason for not wanting it," but what if the reason isn't that, but rather a battle of who gets to say it?

There's no need to become a clear enemy just because someone doesn't want something, but there's also this: if they aren't giving a serious reason, could it be that they're just insisting on "I said it will happen"? If this is just an attempt to establish authority, how long can it go on with the expectation that everyone should accept their decision? It seems like this has turned into a bit of a battle of wills.

The sibling's commitment to this issue is just as important as the mother's objections. If they've downplayed their mother’s unease from the start or thought, "It will surely get better," this attitude might have led to this point. Is the sibling really behind their decision, or are they just managing this tension without doing anything else? It seems like everyone is blaming each other in this silence.

It seems like everyone is trying to persuade them because they don't want it, but how is your sibling building a relationship with their fiancé through this process? I mean, if the fiancé has been staying out of this discussion from the beginning or is like, "I'm not getting involved," will they always take the same stance in future family tensions? Where do your sibling and their fiancé stand on this issue; can they be a "we"? I think that's something to consider as well.

Has your brother made a plan with his fiancée despite your mother's objections? I mean, everyone is focused on what your mother said, but have the couple ever talked about how they will carve their own path? For instance, what will happen when the wedding time approaches if your mother doesn't want it? Can a relationship that is this open to outside influences hold strong from the start?

Your mother may not want this, but how does your fiancé's side view your mother's attitude? Do they have "respect" for this family matter or are they being "hesitant"? Because in either case, they could portray a profile that takes a step back in future matters related to friends and family. Here, the stance of not only your sibling but also the other side is important. If they have no comments or attitudes against your mother's disapproval, that sends a bad signal too.

Why all this talk? If your brother isn't going to take a strong stand with his fiancée, this relationship is going to be rocky from the start. Instead of bothering your mom, they should be looking at how they support each other. If his fiancée is always being passive, your brother might also end up alone in such matters later on. I think you should tell your brother this openly, otherwise the same arguments will come up after the wedding.

She doesn't want it, and you say the fiancée's side is silent, but here's another point: I wonder how her fiancé explains this situation to his family? Are they aware of this tension, or do they think everything is perfectly fine? Because the perspective of the other side also affects the course of events. If everyone has closed their eyes from the beginning, the problem will only escalate in the future.

Has your fiancée thought about having a face-to-face conversation with your mother in this situation? It feels like everyone is just lurking in the background, and your brother seems caught in the middle. But didn't your fiancée directly get involved and show a "we're here" attitude? If they're staying silent, that's a whole other problem.

What will happen if your fiancée speaks? Ultimately, is your mother's main concern about the man, or is it more of a general attitude of "I won’t have control"? It seems like your mother is targeting not the fiancé, but actually your brother's freedom of choice. We need to clarify the root cause, otherwise everyone is fighting the wrong battle.

The main issue for the mother is whether it’s really about her daughter’s fiancé or her brother's decision; that needs to be understood. But here’s another point: if the reason the mother doesn't want this is just some preconceived notions without even knowing the fiancé, how can this be resolved? Has the brother made an effort to introduce his fiancé to their mother and establish a human connection? Or has this situation turned into pure stubbornness?

So, does your mother never trust your brother's decisions? I mean, even if she doesn't know the fiancée, is she questioning whether your brother is thinking clearly while taking such a serious step? Could her disbelief in her own daughter's maturity actually indicate a problem in the mother-daughter dynamic, aside from the relationship?

Your mother doesn't want this relationship, but how involved is your fiancé's family in this process? Are they also uncomfortable with the situation, or are they completely neutral? Because just like the couple, having the families in harmony can reduce issues in the future. If there is a coldness between the two families from the beginning, bigger crises may arise in the marriage.

The reason why the mother does not want the fiancé should be questioned just as much as the approach of the fiancé's family. Is there really a concrete problem with the man, or is it just the mother’s personal prejudices? If there is a tangible reason, has your sibling seriously discussed this issue with their fiancé? Because this is not just a matter of "persuasion"; if there is a real incompatibility, everyone will regret it later.

But if your mother and your fiancé have sat across from each other and haven't had a serious conversation even once, everyone may be commenting for nothing. How can someone make a decision without facing the other person, having a conversation to understand if their heart is broken or if they're sincere? Maybe your mother will be convinced by the slightest gesture or sentence, or maybe she will indeed be right. But these "in-between conversations" bring no solutions to anyone.

So if your mother doesn't want the fiancé, does she directly say something about the relationship to your sibling? Or is she just subtly sulking on her own? If she’s not clearly expressing her opinion, the real crisis might be arising from a lack of communication. Has your sibling ever asked your mother a clear question like, "Okay, you don’t want him, but why?"

Maybe the real issue for the mother isn't the fiancé, but rather the shrinking space that her daughter has for her in her life? In other words, she might be using the fiancé as an excuse to try to maintain her own position. If she's acting out of fear that "I'm losing control," her reaction would be the same even if the right man comes along.

The real concern of the mother is whether it's about her fiancé, her brother, or control, but how is the fiancé managing this situation? There's a test for him as well, after all. It's not enough to just say "I love you, I'm going to marry you." Has he taken any steps to alleviate the mother's worries, or is it just the brother trying to be the bridge?

So many people have written, but nobody has said that sometimes these things resolve purely out of habit, even if your mother doesn't want it. People who initially don't want it gradually accept it, and even grow to love it. But this depends on how calmly and patiently your fiancé and brother manage that process. Is the fiancé direct, or is he patient?

I'm putting aside whether the mother clearly stated her disapproval to the fiancé, but what about your brother? How is he defending his fiancé during this process, how is he standing by her? Or is he also just trying to manage the situation by thinking "it will probably pass"? Because when it's this obvious, it won't resolve without one side being clear.

Could it be that even when your brother defends his fiancée, he isn't suggesting a common path while giving such reactions to your mother? I mean, while trying to mediate with questions like "why don't you want it, why isn't he approaching you," he isn't actually inviting either side anywhere. Maybe the issue isn't patience, but rather a missing move.