My sister is getting engaged but my mom doesn't want her to

The mother's reason for not accepting the fiancé becomes risky if it is based on ideas like "getting used to it, loving it" without clarity. Because if this issue is really based on a problem that cannot be resolved with love (for example, lack of trust, the fiancé's attitude, family harmony, etc.), it will grow over time. One should ask: is the mother's main concern to protect her sibling, or is it to assert her own authority in some way? Because the two are different, and the solutions will also be different.

It's necessary to figure out why the mother doesn't want the fiancé, but I'm also curious about this: Is the fiancé trying to build a connection with your sibling's family? I mean, is he solely focused on your sibling, or does he have the vibe of "I will be a part of this family too"? Perhaps your mother is uncomfortable with him being completely an outsider.

Have you ever been alone with your fiancé and your mother? Sometimes in group meetings, a real opinion doesn't form; everyone plays a role. Have you thought about leaving them alone under the pretext of grabbing a coffee? There, are the intentions noticeable — sincere or disconnected?

How openly do you think she expressed to her brother that she didn't want it, not just to her fiancé? You know, she might act cold towards her fiancé but speak more directly to her brother; maybe she's trying to exert some pressure through him. If her brother approaches this pressure by saying, "he doesn't understand me," then solving the problem becomes even more difficult. Is her brother really confronting her when he defends her fiancé to their mother, or is he just dodging the issue?

Maybe instead of asking your mother "why don't you want this?", it’s also important to ask her, "what kind of son-in-law did you imagine?" Sometimes people can express things they can’t say directly more clearly like this. Plus, it helps to see if the fiancé can get closer to that kind of dream.

She's saying she doesn't want it, but is there a general day-to-day harmony regarding her fiancé's presence throughout the house? For instance, during visits, does everyone switch to full "guest hosting mode," or are there moments where the fiancé truly feels like a natural part of the family? Maybe the issue is that they are constantly in "protocol."

I was curious about how the fiancé is reacting to the mother's refusal as much as the reason for the mother's disapproval. Is he stepping back and observing from a distance, or is he seeking a solution? Because if he chooses to play the silent game, that could also stoke the situation from within.

Your mother doesn't want the fiancé, but how does the fiancé's family approach this situation? Does your mother feel any pressure or force from them? Sometimes it's not the fiancé's attitude, but that of their family that leaves a question mark in one's mind. Don't overlook this part.

I think besides your mother's feelings towards the fiancé, the way your brother handles this process is also important. If your mother feels like "I am being ignored," she might be more upset with your brother than with the fiancé. Is your brother trying to find a balance in between, or has he switched to the "I chose, it's over" mode? This could have hardened your mother’s attitude.

But is your mother really against it, or is the issue that she can't tolerate your sister making her own decisions and following her own path? Sometimes what is called "the reason" is just an excuse, because she can't express what the real problem is.

Can the fiancé do anything in this situation? Is it all completely revolving around your brother and your mother, or has the fiancé tried to get involved in the dynamics of the relationship and developed a stance? If they haven't taken any initiative, that could be a problem as well.

I think if your mother doesn't want it, it could be an unspoken feeling based on what she has heard or seen. For example, a fiancé might not have given her confidence through a gesture or attitude. Mothers sometimes trust their instincts, so ask her "what doesn't sit right with you". Maybe you'll get a different answer.

the mother's susceptibility to others' opinions is just as important as the fiancé's approach. For instance, did a neighbor or relative say something like, "This kid won't work out" based on hearsay? Or is it entirely from their own observation? Sometimes, a comment from the outside is blown out of proportion unnecessarily. From this perspective, it's necessary to understand how much of the mother's opinion is her own.

Sometimes, even if your mother doesn't want it, there can be a situation of "too much comfort" with the fiancé. You know, like exaggerating his status at home and not knowing his limits. Your sibling might not notice, but the mother will sense it immediately. I think it's also worth checking if there's anything disrupting the hierarchy at home.

How concrete or abstract are the mother's concerns about the fiancé? In other words, does she clearly state something? Or is she speaking in vague terms like "didn't give me confidence"? Because if you discuss through abstract feelings, no solution will emerge, everyone will get stuck in their own emotions. I think you should clarify a bit.

But you keep attributing your mother's reasons for not wanting it to your fiancé, his family, or intuition. What if the issue is something simpler, rather than anyone's character? For example, economic situation, differences in social circles, or cultural incompatibility? Could these not be mentioned?

So when your mother says she doesn't want the fiancé, is she completely against it, or does she have specific criticisms like "it would be better if this were different"? Because if she's completely against it, that's one thing; but if she's making detailed complaints, there might actually be a situation where she can be persuaded. It's important to understand the tone in that context.

Does Annen clearly have an issue with her fiancé, or is it related to her brother's engagement? I got the feeling that the situation is shaped more from a "why is she engaged?" perspective rather than "why now?" Maybe it's a matter of timing.

Your partner may not want to be engaged, but take a look at how they were involved in the engagement process. For instance, if things have been conducted from the start without consulting them, this could also be a reason for their reaction. There might be a feeling of resentment, such as "Why did you leave me out?" hidden in this situation.

The mother's reason for not wanting the fiancé may be related to a past experience she had. Does she have a story or a fear of having faced the exact same situation? Sometimes, these kinds of things are not openly discussed, but they loom like a huge shadow in a person's mind. There might be a clue to be found there.

Perhaps there is a concern about the fiancé's family, but he may not want to say it directly. You know how the elders sometimes say, "they're not like us"; there are actually deeper worries behind that. The mother should be asked directly, politely: "What exactly is bothering you?" Maybe she is hesitant and can't explain fully.

If your mother doesn't want this, could the expectations or plans of your fiancé's side appear as a "burden" in her eyes? For example, wedding preparations, expenses, or the potential of a "commitment" situation afterward. Generally, if these feelings have accumulated over time, they might explode with the sentiment of "I didn't like this." It’s better to speak openly; perhaps something clear will come out of it.

Does she see her mother's refusal as her brother's choice, or does she feel responsible and think, "they need to get it right on something I couldn’t achieve"? Sometimes, the issue can be about getting stuck not just with the other person, but with one's own past. Evaluate it from this perspective.

Maybe your mother seems to be against the fiancé, but actually her discomfort is related to the rapid progress of the process. You know how some mothers think, "They just met, why the rush?" and look at things coldly; perhaps there's a situation like that. Were your sibling's decisions very sudden, for example? I think you should question that.

Maybe your mother is reacting not to the fiancé, but to losing control over herself. There might be a tension arising from the feeling of, "Will I just step aside and watch?" When she questions her own role, things become clearer.

Has there been any direct interaction between Anne and the fiancé? For example, a discussion, misunderstandings, or something like that? Or has this idea always formed from a distance? Please clarify that part, because sometimes people develop prejudices and become cold toward each other without even knowing each other. In this case, it might be necessary to start from the first step.

Could the mother’s real concern be not about the relationship but about whom she will leave her brother's responsibility to after the wedding? In other words, she might be harboring a thought like "Am I lightening my burden, or is it becoming more complicated?" Such things are not openly discussed but manifest in behavior.

Perhaps the issue isn't with the fiancé but rather with the mother not being able to accept that the dynamics of your family will change. When the sister leaves, the household dynamics will change, and some people may not feel ready for that. For the mother, it seems that it would be easier if "everyone stayed in their place." Has there been any discussion about this idea of change?

Perhaps the bride is more concerned about the societal perception of the engagement rather than what the groom's side thinks. In other words, is there a pressure of "what will people say?" Sometimes, the phrase "it's not suitable for our family" reflects a fear of being caught off guard by nosy neighbors or relatives. Is there such an emphasis?

Anne may not have fully embraced your fiancé's family; has there been a meeting or get-together? Because sometimes it's not just about the fiancé, but there's also a search for "energy harmony" with their family. Could she be feeling some discomfort from that?

So how did your mother approach the other choices in your brother's life before that? Was she generally hard to please and critical, or was this the first time it happened like this? Because sometimes what seems personal can actually be related to a person's standards. Can you make a comparison from there?

But is your mother concerned about this fiancé's financial situation? Has that ever been discussed? Because sometimes the issue isn't just personal incompatibility, but rather the worry of "can this man provide for my daughter?" No one says it outright, but financial matters can be very decisive.

But could your mother's reluctance be related to your fiancé's age? I mean, is he young, is there an age difference, could your mother be thinking something like "this age is not appropriate"? Sometimes the age issue isn't even mentioned, but it becomes the biggest obstacle internally.

Could the reason for the mother's disapproval also encompass how the fiancé affects your sister? For instance, did she get the impression that your sister has changed and become a different person? Some mothers can perceive such changes as a threat. According to her, it's like "she's detached from us."

Could the mother's disapproval stem not from her feelings about the fiancé, but rather from the fact that her sister is heading in a direction that contradicts her own dreams? I mean, something like "I wanted to see her in a different place, and with this choice, I'm losing her"... Has your mother ever implied such a disappointment?

It seems like your mother doesn't want the fiancé, but could it actually be that she's afraid of your sister spending less time at home, drifting away, or neglecting you or the family after marriage? You know how some mothers worry that "if I lose one, the other will carry more weight." Has your sister sensed anything about this?

Could the reason the mother objects be due to the cultural differences of the fiancé's side? You know, topics like food, manner of speaking, and approach to traditions might seem trivial, but they can actually become a significant barrier. Has she ever brought such a thing up?

Maybe the issue is more about your sister's decision-making process rather than your fiancé. Does it seem to your mom like a decision that was made suddenly and without much thought? If she's looking at it as if it was made "in haste," then even if the fiancé is perfect, it might not sit well with her. How is your sister defending or explaining this relationship?

Maybe your mother's reluctance is because it makes the deficiencies in her own life more visible. When your sister got married and established a new order, your mother might think she will feel lonely or empty. Has there ever been a conversation like that? Did you notice if your mother questioned anything about her own life?

Could it be that she doesn't want the fiancé but rather the engagement process? I mean, something like "this is being rushed, it hasn't settled completely." Is the timing off, perhaps? Some people get anxious when steps are taken too early.

The reason your mother might disapprove here could be related to your fiancé's family. In other words, she might not be against your fiancé, but rather disapproves of their family dynamics or their relationship. Did she express such a reservation or say something like "we can't get along with them"?

She seems to be acting like she doesn't want the fiancé, but maybe she's afraid of any unrest in the house. After all, during the engagement and wedding processes, everyone's nerves are on edge, and even a small comment can escalate. Has there been such an unpleasant incident in the family before? Could she have some reservations from the past?

Is the person actually experiencing financial concerns when they say they don't want the fiancée? In other words, is the financial situation of the fiancée, their job, and issues related to the arrangement after marriage weighing down on them? Money matters are generally discussed in a vague manner like this.

Perhaps the issue is not that the mother does not want it, but rather the feeling of insecurity she has. There might be something she cannot clearly express about the fiancé, a discomfort she can't fully explain. Does she express something more concrete, or is she just talking in vague terms like "I liked/didn't like"? We need to clarify that.

Could the reason your mother doesn't want it be because it's not the engagement itself, but rather the engagement ring? She might be questioning if this is the right time to get married. You know how sometimes you get fixated on something just so you can say, "now isn't the right time"—that kind of situation. It seems like there are other issues outside of your brother, too.

Although she seems to reject her fiancé, it might actually be an attempt to impose some limits on her brother's freedom of choice. So the real issue isn't the engagement, but a matter of control. Was there a clear conversation about what really bothers her?

Don't be too sure that your mother doesn't want the engagement. Maybe she heard something from your fiancée's family or said something, but she's not telling you. So, there might be an issue not just with your fiancée but also with her circle. Why not ask your brother if there's a situation between your fiancée and herself or between the families?

Could there be something that bothers her not directly with her fiancé, but perhaps regarding his approach to the relationship? For example, is there a snag related to her fiancé's attitude, seriousness, or way of taking responsibility? Things like this may seem like small details at times, but they can turn into big issues.

Maybe your mom isn't sure if she can carry or take care of your fiancé's brother. So it's not about whether he's "good or bad," but rather whether she can handle that burden. Sit down with your brother and discuss if he might have felt something like this.

If your sister doesn't want an engagement, maybe she has a problem with her own role in this process. In other words, could she be stressing out due to the pressure of being a "decent daughter" during events like engagements and weddings? It's important to talk not only with your sister but also with your mother to understand her perspective on these matters.

Anne doesn't want the fiancé, but could it be possible that the family of the fiancé is somehow excluding your mother? For instance, in the initial meetings, shopping trips, or discussions, could they have kept your mother in the background? If she's not mentioning it, the resentment might be coming from here.

It's not that your mother doesn't want the engagement, but could it be that she can't digest the idea of "someone else meddling in her daughter's life"? I mean, how can I put it, is she uneasy about a situation that feels like a diminishment of her authority? These kinds of conflicts often revolve more around "who gets to say what" than the fiancé himself.

Could the reason the mother is reluctant to accept the fiancé be a financial concern? For example, didn't the fiancé's side mention anything regarding their economic situation or wedding expenses? There might be some unease stemming from that.

Could the influence of the mother's own past experiences play a role in this situation? In other words, maybe something related to her own marriage is being triggered during this process. Could there be a comparison, a regret, or a fear involved? She might not be able to express this directly.

Have you ever considered the possibility that your mother might be preoccupied with your sibling's age or whether they're ready or not? Your fiancé may not be a bad person, but they could be feeling anxious about your sibling's "early marriage". Try to understand if they are uneasy, not directly about the engagement itself, but about the timing of the marriage.

You might think perhaps your mother doesn't want the engagement, but could it be that she's overwhelmed by the pace of the process? While everyone is focused on the sibling and the engagement, it can feel like your mother's feelings are being somewhat overlooked. Have you tried slowing down a bit and asking your mother, "How are you feeling about this process?"

Could the reason for the mother's disapproval be the culture/behavior of the fiancé's side? In other words, is there a difference or negative impression in the family structures that makes the mother uncomfortable? If she suspects something like that, she might not be able to express it openly.

Maybe the reason your mom doesn't want the fiancé is that she's afraid of losing her bond with your sibling. When your sibling gets married and sets up their own life, could your mom be feeling a sense of loneliness? That is, she might be experiencing anxiety more about how the dynamic of the relationship will change rather than about the fiancé himself. How do you see the bond between your sibling and your mom? Does it seem like a secure relationship, or do they come across as dependent on each other?

So, does your mother explicitly say that she doesn't want your fiancé, or do you infer it from her behavior? Sometimes it's not the fiancé they dislike but rather the family of the fiancé, and they don't express it directly. Could there have been a disrespect or awkwardness during the meetings?

So is your mother's reason for not wanting it really about the fiancé, or is it more of a general authority issue related to her choice for your sibling? Because if you notice, everyone is talking about the fiancé, but the real issue might be your mother's potential "loss of control." In other words, would she have reacted the same way no matter who you got engaged to? Think about it.

Could the mother's reluctance be related to the fiancé, or could it be about family expectations after the wedding? For example, is there an expectation or fear such as "we won't receive as much value as we've given" or "my sister will distance herself after the wedding"? She might be using the fiancé as an excuse while hiding her true concerns.

Is the mother acting like she doesn't want the fiancé while actually questioning her own position? In other words, could it be coming from a place of, "Am I still important as a mother?"? Could she feel a bit sidelined when everyone focuses on the sibling and the engagement? These kinds of things might sometimes be projected onto the fiancé.

Is she saying that she didn't want the fiancée without really knowing her, or did her opinion become clear after a specific event? In other words, was there a concrete experience, or is it generally the case that mothers' initial reactions to such important decisions tend to be more distant? Because sometimes, what we call "not wanting" can simply be a lack of adjustment.

Does your mom ever talk to your dad about this? If she isn't sharing her thoughts with him, she might be keeping everything to herself. Sometimes, women silently struggle without informing their partners. What does your dad think?

Is your mother someone who tries to interfere in your brother's elections in general, even if there is no engagement? So is the real issue this relationship, or is it more of an "it can't be done without my approval" attitude? Because if she continually has such an attitude, changing the fiancé won't be a solution.

If your mother causes the engagement to break because she doesn't want the fiancé, think about whether this would also affect her other choices afterwards. You know, if this happens once, could it lead to a habit where she gains confidence by thinking, "Look, if I interfere, I get results"? Maybe your brother needs to notice this too.

So your mother doesn't want the fiancé, but has there been a direct conversation or conflict with the fiancé's family? I mean, maybe it’s not so much about the fiancé, but rather the family's attitude or some situation at the beginning of the relationship that has stuck in her mind. Since it hasn't been talked about, there might be no solution found for it.

She doesn't want the fiancé, but has she tried to communicate with him directly? It's easy to say "the choice is wrong," but if she doesn't really have any idea who this person is, what she might actually be resisting could be the unknown. So if she tries to understand the fiancé rather than dismissing him, perhaps the prejudices in her own mind could also be resolved.

She doesn’t want the fiancée, but why didn’t this issue grow until the engagement? How was it when they got together before the engagement, was she satisfied, did she stay silent? Sometimes these things are brushed aside in silence at first and then blow up when things get serious. If she had a problem from the very beginning, why didn’t she speak up then?

Is Annen directly telling her brother that she doesn't want the fiancé, or is this just something being conveyed to you? Because sometimes in such situations, one side pretends not to want it while actually testing the sibling's decision, as in trying to see "how committed they are to this relationship." So, is the intention really to prevent the engagement, or is it more about seeing the brother's stance?

You say your mother doesn’t want this engagement, but did she ever express an open veto or serious objection during the engagement process? I mean, was there never a clear "no" throughout the entire process, or did it only heat up when it came to the engagement? If that's the case, is the reason for her not wanting it truly because of the fiancé, or is it more about the family’s fear of what others think? It seems like there’s a distinction there.

Could the reason the mother doesn't want it be that her opinion wasn't considered when her brother chose his fiancée, rather than something related to the fiancée's personality? Some mothers feel offended, saying "we were excluded," when the issue is actually a reaction to the process rather than the person. Have you ever thought about it from this perspective?

Could your mother be using this desire against your sibling for some reason? For example, could there be an unresolved issue between them in the past, a hurt feeling, or a conflict? The subject may appear to be about the fiancé from the outside, but it could actually be your mother demonstrating her attitude toward him "through the fiancé." It’s important to look at how your mother behaves toward your sibling.

So this "not wanting the fiancé" situation, is it actually something that the fiancé's family gets hung up on? In other words, could it be a societal issue rather than a personal one? Factors like family structure, financial situation, and lifestyle sometimes become the main targets, but nobody openly states it.

It seems to me that your mother is not concerned with the engagement itself, but rather with the lack of control over the process. It feels like there's a discomfort akin to "things progressed without my approval, my role has diminished". Could it be that she is unable to express this directly and is venting it onto the fiancé?

Does a brother become distant from his fiancée just because his mother doesn't want her? Or does he bond with her even more? Some mothers, when they say "I don't want her," make the child feel more possessive. Does the mother take this into account as well, or is it completely an emotional reflex?

Is the issue about being engaged, or is it more of a general "nobody is good enough" attitude from your mother? Some mothers seem to always have this "whoever it is, it won't be the way I want it" mindset. Has something like this happened before, perhaps with other siblings or so?

It seems like your mom isn't presenting a very clear reason against the fiancé; rather, it appears to be more of a general unease. But could it also be this: Is your mom worrying that your brother might "withdraw from the family"? I mean, does she fear that the fiancé will completely pull your brother into his own world, leaving her feeling alone? These kinds of concerns are sometimes not explicitly stated but are felt through actions.

Are the excuses expressed by the mother through her fiancé real or just a source of gossip? For instance, is she making claims about the fiancé's family or his past, stating something concrete? Or is she merely arguing based on what she "feels"? I think it's important to clarify this.

Perhaps behind the mother's refusal to accept the fiancé lies a fear or experience stemming from her own past. Could it be that she's subconsciously developing a prejudice like, "I knew someone like this, and it ended badly"? This might be why she isn't fully explaining her true reasons. When looking at the mother's life, does such a thing stand out?

Are you telling your brother what your mother said about your fiancé? I mean, if your mother’s stance directly reflects on your brother, eventually he will also start to defend himself, and the issue will no longer be just about "not wanting the fiancé"; it will turn into a complete power struggle. Is your mother aware of this balance?

Your mom doesn't want this, but does your dad have a stance on the matter? In general, in such situations, he either stays completely silent or sides with your mom; the balance of this is important. Otherwise, if everyone in the family is pulling in different directions, things can get even more tangled.

Is there an issue communicating with the fiancé's family while trying to block the engagement? In other words, is there also some distance being placed against the family? Because sometimes the issue may not stem directly from the fiancé, but could be related to a bias concerning their surroundings. Has this ever been addressed?

How are the mother's objections expressed in the presence of her brother? Is she directly saying, "this won't work," or is she making subtle jabs instead? Because sometimes, such gradual explanations can also strain the relationship, but since it's not openly discussed, a solution cannot be found.

Doesn't the mother's disapproval make the fiancé even more attractive on the one hand? If your brother starts throwing a fit saying "everyone's against it, I'm behind it," the situation can completely turn into a matter of stubbornness. We need to see if your mother has laid the groundwork for this.

Could the fiancée's side be getting upset just because the bride doesn't want it? In other words, the issue might not just revolve within the family; if there's also a sense of coldness from the outside, the fiancée's family might take a stand saying "we're not wanted." Let's not get stuck in this vicious cycle; who will ease the tension?

It's clear that the mother doesn't want this, but has your sibling only gone on the defense about it, or are there places where they have been convinced by what the mother said? Sometimes, when people notice cracks in a relationship, they develop a denial reflex when someone from the other side brings it up. Is your sibling really evaluating their fiancé from an objective perspective right now? Check on that.

Brother, does he really want this engagement himself, or is he holding on so tightly just because your mom doesn't want it? Some people cling more to their decisions just to show a reaction. Maybe if your mom steps back a bit, your brother will evaluate his fiancée more comfortably in his own mind. Have you ever thought about such a situation?

It's already clear that the mother doesn't want it, and the fiancé's side getting tense is also likely, but why is no one asking this? How concrete is the mother's reasoning? Is it something abstract like "I just don't feel right about it," or is there really a tangible problem at hand? Because in the first case, people are stubborn for no reason, while in the second, everyone jumps into a ridiculous defense mode without discussing the actual issue.

Even if the mother's reasoning is concrete, how is the way she expresses it? After all, even if she is right, if she speaks with the wrong tone, the sibling may only respond with resistance. Sometimes, the issue isn't about being right, but rather how the approach can instigate a conflict. It's as if no one has paid attention to this detail.

Is your brother defending the fiancé while claiming his own life, or is he just trying to resist your mother? This is important. Apart from not wanting this man, does your mother not trust your sister's own decisions? If the real conflict has turned into a power struggle between your mother and brother rather than involving the fiancé, then no one will come out ahead from this. Is this perspective clear?

But even if the mother's objection is concrete, how is the fiancé responding to this? I mean, how does the guy present his stance in this tension? Does he say, "We'll figure it out somehow," or does he retreat into his corner and remain silent? Because this is not just a conflict between mother and daughter; the fiancé's approach will also be decisive.

In this situation, is the fiancée putting the burden of their mother's reactions on her brother? If she's just observing the situation with a passive attitude like "I don't understand, you sort it out," doesn't it wear the brother out having to constantly defend one of them? During this time, observe whether the fiancée is taking responsibility; it shows what kind of partner she will be not only in the relationship but also in this family dynamic.

If the tension escalates this much, it creates a perception on the fiancé's side of being "looked down upon," and it may not be recoverable afterwards. If the mother has concerns, they should be addressed, but has this issue reached a point where it affects the other party's pride? In other words, when the fiancé hears this, will they think, "if you don't want us, then we can take down the flag too"? Is anyone considering this?

But what is overlooked here is this: You say your mother doesn't want it, but does the fiancé's side clearly know about your mother's attitude? Or do they just feel it indirectly? Because if they know directly and still say nothing, that's different; if they are thinking, "Why is there a cold attitude?" without knowing, that is a completely different problem.

But if your mother completely excludes the fiancé and this man's family notices the situation and takes offense, the matter won't just end with the engagement. There will be a wedding, and afterwards, a constant chill will persist. So, what position will your sibling be in when starting this marriage? Will they be the one getting crushed in between, or will they be someone saying, "everyone should deal with what they deserve"? If they can't handle this tension, they'll lose both sides.

So, what does the groom's side do if they hear this refusal from the bride's mother? Do they directly say "this place won't work for us" or do they show some tolerance, like "we can manage it"? Because this matter also shapes itself according to the reaction of the other side; it's not a one-sided issue.

You say the mother's objections are concrete, but how they appear through the eyes of the sibling is important. Does the sibling actually find these concerns reasonable, or do they think, "my mom is just being ridiculous"? Because understanding the fiancé is just as important as how the sibling views the mother; both aspects determine the balance of this situation. You can't just disregard one.

But will your sibling give up just because your mother doesn't want it? I mean, no matter how reasonable these concerns may be, I think it's difficult for them to just act like they're always following your mother's directives. Will your sibling live their whole life waiting for your mother's approval? They won't be able to please anyone like that.

You say that mom doesn't want it, but if her attitude gives your brother an ultimatum feeling of "choose me or him," then this issue can't be solved just by talking. If she draws such a clear line, it seems there is actually a power struggle independent of the fiancé. Even if your brother realizes this and marries without resolving his issues with mom, there won't be peace. Why is this coming up now? Is the root of it here?