My sister is getting engaged but my mom doesn't want her to

So is this reaction limited only to the groom or the engagement process? Does the mother generally have a "shadow-casting" attitude towards your decisions, or is this situation completely different? Because sometimes a reaction to an issue stems from the accumulated weight of other issues over the years.

Maybe your mother doesn't find the groom suitable or has some concerns about the process, but when she directly expresses it, she avoids saying "I don't want this" for fear of causing a commotion. Have there been other instances where she reacted indirectly like this? If so, don't pressure her to state the reason directly; first create a conversation environment that will make her comfortable by beating around the bush. Don't dig in your heels for no reason.

Has your mother previously displayed an "I don't want to" attitude in other matters just to assert her authority? In other words, is it not about the engagement, but rather about the feeling that she is being challenged unknowingly? Has this aspect even been considered?

So, have you compared your mother's "I don't want to" response directly with what she said to your brother? It seems like a clear rejection when she talks to you, but is she softer with him? Does she react with the same intensity to everyone, or is there a difference between individuals? If she sees this engagement as a power struggle, that difference is significant.

Could the mother's reaction also smell a bit like a matter of pride? You know, maybe she feels like she hasn't been given a full say or that she's been overlooked in the decision-making process. Have you questioned the mother's feelings about the engagement from the perspective of "being included in the decision-making process"?

Is there a situation where your brother stays silent on this issue or tries to downplay it? If your mother's attitude is not taken seriously or is ignored, it will only intensify this stubbornness. It would be healthier to discern what his true opinion about the groom is from your brother's behavior. Maybe the issue is not the groom, but your brother's stance.

At what point does your sibling stand firm when your mother says, "I don't want it"? In other words, is your sibling behind their decision, or do they seem to backtrack upon hearing your mother's reaction? Because your mother might sense your sibling's indecisiveness and draw strength from it. To link the reaction solely to the groom or the engagement process would be to overlook this aspect.

It’s worth considering that what the mother doesn’t want may not just be the son-in-law. Perhaps it’s the idea of marriage in general, or maybe it’s about her sibling getting engaged so quickly or at such a young age. It’s as if the son-in-law is just an excuse, and you’re directing all the focus there. It might be necessary to look at the situation from a broader perspective.

If your mother's illness is not about her son-in-law but the situation itself, could it be a case where your sibling "caught her off guard"? Like a surprise marriage, for instance. Sometimes, when mothers feel they can't control a situation, things turn into something they didn't want. How long ago was the decision shared, and was there a process to get her opinion?

Aside from all these analyses, could there be something that your mother is hiding from you about her not wanting to get engaged? For instance, is there any information she has about the groom or your sibling's relationship that she has heard or seen but hasn't shared with you? Have you tried to ask her directly?

Could the mother's attitude be stemming not just from the engagement or the groom, but also from a turning point in her own life? For instance, your sibling moving out, changes in her role, and so on. Sometimes the issue isn't so much about the people, but rather the reaction to the changes happening. Have you ever talked about this?

Could what your mother is reacting to be that she feels excluded or that she is no longer "someone important"? In a way, it's like saying, "They didn't even need my approval." By raising her voice, she might actually be trying to say, "I am here." For example, if she heard a sentence like, "Your approval and opinion are very important to us at this engagement," would that soften her up?

Maybe your mother seems to disapprove of the groom because she thinks your brother isn't ready for marriage? In other words, she targets the groom knowing she can't veto the engagement. You could try having a separate conversation with your brother to open an honest dialogue about whether this is being rushed.

Could the reason the mother doesn't want it be because of the way the engagement took place rather than the person her brother is engaged to? Like plans are being made within the family, and there's a hurt feeling of "it happened without me being told"? It might be taken directly from the process itself.

I think your mother may perceive your sibling's move as "slipping away." You know how some mothers have a protective instinct, as if they feel, "I know what's best for them, not them." Perhaps it's worth considering that your mother is uneasy about the beginning of a period where she won't be able to intervene in your sibling's life, rather than concerning herself with the engagement or the groom. This might be a process of accepting her own boundaries. Would it help to make the mother feel that this transition is natural in a different way?

Could one reason your mother doesn't want this to happen be a past unpleasantness related to the groom's side that you might not know about? Maybe there’s a mismatch between the families or something your mother has heard from the groom's family? Have you ever checked on this?

Could your mother not be explicitly stating the reason? Because no matter how much you ask, she hints at it indirectly since she probably doesn't want to stir things up, or she might be thinking, "Will it change just because I mentioned it?" Have you tried directly asking, "Is there a problem with the son-in-law?" to get an honest answer?

Could the reason your mother-in-law doesn't want the engagement be the person himself, or could it be about his family? I mean, she might not dislike the groom, but perhaps she doesn't approve of his family? Have you ever considered that aspect?

Could the reason for your mother's disapproval be something financial? I mean, when thinking about engagement costs, dowries, wedding plans, etc., could she have felt burdened or a sense of lack? Sometimes, people who feel tense about such things might express their feelings indirectly rather than saying it outright.

Could your mother be uncomfortable with the constant obligation of being close to the groom's side after the engagement? You know how everyone's relationship with their family is different; maybe she feels like it would disrupt a balance that has already been established. Does this come across in her conversations?

Maybe your mother doesn't want the son-in-law but is concerned about his brother or a relative, you know, she might have worries like "it's never-ending." Since you're getting married the Turkish way, does she have an issue coming from that? I think your brother should ask her directly.

Could it be someone your mother-in-law compared you to? If there was a child of a family friend or someone you suggested back in the day, she might have developed an obsession with that person. Something like "He/She was better, she chose this one" could have secretly frustrated her. Has this kind of past ever been discussed?

Perhaps the issue isn't the groom or his family at all, but rather your mother's own anxieties in her life? She might not want this engagement due to a sense of deficiency, loneliness, or another internal struggle in her own experience. You've focused on someone stuck at the water's edge, but have you considered whether there's something else at the source of the water?

Is it because she doubts whether your sibling can build a home on their own, rather than the fact that she doesn't like the groom's family or something like that? I mean, maybe the groom is a decent person, but your sibling might seem "not ready" to her. You know how families sometimes worry about the fear of "they can get married, but they can't manage it"; do you think that's the case?

Could it be that your mother is apprehensive about a situation stemming from her own circle? You know, like concerns about what "they would say," fear of gossip, and so on? Maybe that's why she's trying to prevent it; have you ever felt that way?

Could it be that your mother's real concern is feeling excluded in the decision-making process? If topics like engagement or marriage were discussed more between you, she may have felt alone in an environment where her voice wasn't heard. She might be expressing this attitude of "You are disregarding me" in this way. Did something like this happen?

Could a special event your mother experienced on or before her engagement day be a bad memory? Sometimes a place, a tradition, or even a saying can trigger something old. It might be stuck not on the direct cause but on a past connected to the engagement. Has this ever been discussed?

Could your mother have a feeling of distrust towards your brother? I mean, the son-in-law is fine, but is it turning into the worry of "can my daughter have a suitable partner in this man?" Sometimes parents can get anxious about this without expressing it openly. Have you had a conversation in this direction?

Could the reason your mother doesn't want the son-in-law be related to a rumor from his past or an incident that could reflect on the family? Sometimes they act with concerns like "there's something we don't know yet." Has your mother heard more about the son-in-law than from your sibling?

Has there been any discussion about whether your mother's disapproval of the engagement is related to money? Were there any conflicts regarding wedding expenses, financial expectations, or their economic situation? Sometimes the issue turns into a complete fight over "who will cover what," but it's covered up by another problem.

Could your mother-in-law think there will be a social status mismatch with your family? You know, differences in education, culture, lifestyle, etc.? Sometimes it's not explicitly stated, but such concerns are covered up with an objection like "it's not appropriate." Is there such an implication in their conversations?

Could it be that your mother is overly protective of your sibling and trying to shield them? You know how some moms get into the "what would the child do without me" mode and don’t want to let go; is there a bit of that bond between them? What does your sibling think about this?

I think your mother's attitude may also stem from the question of "Is the groom’s decision final?" You know how when you get married, you can still divorce, but when you're engaged, the social perception is that "it's done now." Perhaps she is trying to exert a final approval or a last filter driven by maternal instincts. Is your sibling clear on this matter?

Maybe your mother feels like she's been pushed to the background. Could she be thinking, "nobody asks my opinion, everyone does things their own way"? Mothers who feel like they are left in the background when it comes to important decisions in their daughters' lives can be quite stubborn about it. Has she ever thought, "where do I fit in here"?

Could there have been a special conflict with your mother-in-law's side? You know, like a past hurtful situation, a disagreement, or someone she doesn't want to face. Sometimes the issue can stem not just from the candidate, but from their surroundings. Has she ever expressed any issues regarding that side?

Maybe your mother is uncomfortable with how the engagement process is going, meaning it might not just be a personal incompatibility but something in the process that has triggered her, like feeling out of control or that things are moving too quickly. Is she thinking, "Everything happened so fast, when did I get involved?" How transparent was your sibling with her during this process? Was there any discussion or not?

Could the reason your mother doesn't want it be related not to the groom or the process, but simply to her belief that your brother is not ready for marriage? You know how some families think, "younger and less experienced," and find the decision to marry premature. Is the objection aimed at the engagement itself or is it about the timing? Is that clear?

Maybe the issue isn't with your spouse or brother, but rather with the mothers and their own youthful traumas. In other words, it could be a fear from their own marriage, a reflex of "I went through it, so they shouldn't have to." How much does your mother share her story with you?

I think your mother's reason for not wanting it is not just the engagement or the groom, but the overall pace of the situation. Maybe she's thinking, "What's with such a quick decision and hurry?" How long has the relationship been? How many steps were taken before arriving at the engagement? Is everyone really sure and calm there?

Could it be that your mother's reluctance is also influenced by her concerns about her surroundings? You know, worries like "what will others think, what if this doesn’t work out, what if we embarrass ourselves"? Sometimes, the situation can turn into a fear of how things appear from the outside; do you think she might be thinking this way?

Have you ever thought about whether your mother is happy with her own choice of partner? Perhaps she sees a mistake she made in your sibling but can't admit it. She may be questioning her own life.

Mothers can sometimes get caught up in the economic aspect of things. For example, questions like "What kind of life will this groom provide for my daughter? Is his future secure?" may be running through their minds. The decision to marry is not only emotional but also weighed somewhat in terms of logic. Has this perspective ever been discussed, for instance?

Have you considered that the reason your mother doesn't want to might stem from a conflict involving you or your sibling? I mean, mothers can sometimes dig in their heels and think, "They just don't listen to me; they don't pay attention to what I say." Maybe it's not about the son-in-law or the process, but rather feeling misunderstood.

Is your sibling getting engaged completely on their own terms, or are they under pressure as well? Your mother's disapproval is one thing, but it's also important how your sibling perceives this process. Are they really this determined and happy?

I think we also need to consider the family dynamics on the groom's side. Is your mother not able to foresee the structure, harmony, or potential issues that may arise in the family your brother is joining? You know, after the wedding, cultural differences, family expectations, and so on. Are these kinds of details being discussed?

Perhaps your mother-in-law's disapproval stems from what she has heard about the groom's family. You know how sometimes a person feels unease about their partner's family more than about the partner themselves? Maybe there's a situation like that. Has there been any conversation with the groom's side? How well do they know each other?

Your mother doesn't want the engagement, but has she clearly stated her reasons or provided a solid justification? I mean, we are speculating so much, but maybe there isn't a tangible reason, just an emotional reaction. Instead of analyzing the situation this much, have you directly asked your mother, "Why don't you want it?" Because we keep going around in circles creating assumptions here.

Could it be that your mother's disapproval of this relationship is not about the groom, but rather stems from her belief that your sister is generally not ready for a relationship? Sometimes, concerns stem more from the individuals' readiness for life than from the groom himself. Your mother may be questioning how maturely your sister made this decision.

Perhaps your mother is inadvertently waiting for your partner to take a step back at some point, prompting them to reconsider their decision. In other words, she might be consciously resisting in order to slow down the process. Could the crux of the matter be more about how much trust she has in this engagement process rather than in your partner?

Sometimes a mother's disapproval may stem from her own past fears or traumas, regardless of the situation of the son-in-law or your brother. Perhaps something happened to her, or she witnessed a bad example around her... Has this kind of thing ever been discussed in the past? Mothers may not always express it directly, but it can be sensed from their attitudes.

So, is your mother's reluctance constant or did it start during the engagement process? If she's been negative from the beginning, does she have an issue with the groom or is it something else? We need to distinguish that. Is it a temporary anger, or does she have a clear objection in her mind from the start?

So is the engagement process continuing despite your mother's disapproval? In other words, is your sibling ignoring this reaction and moving forward, or are they somehow affected and inclined to step back? Because as much as your mother's attitude matters, how much your sibling can stand against it is also important.

Your mother doesn't want the son-in-law, but is the son-in-law's family reluctant to meet, or is your mother being distant? If one of the parties is setting clear boundaries, that's likely where the tension arises. What is preventing them from sitting down together? I think that part is complicated.

I think there might be a situation regarding your mother’s attitude that relates to trusting your brother’s decision rather than the groom. How clearly and confidently did your brother approach this path? Because sometimes, if mothers don’t see a strong standing behind a decision, they redirect the objections elsewhere. See how rushed this engagement was.

Reading your mother's objection solely through the lens of your son-in-law or your brother's decision could be a narrow perspective. Perhaps the issue is entirely related to the feeling of losing control. In other words, the dynamics at home are changing, and your daughter's departure marks the beginning of an independent life apart from you... Such changes can create fear in some family members. Have you ever thought about it from this angle?

Your mother doesn't want your husband, but is she expressing this clearly or is it inferred from her behaviors? Because if she's not speaking directly, are you sure you understand the reasons for her disapproval? Maybe the issue lies somewhere else entirely, but you've connected it to the husband.

If your mother-in-law is taking an attitude without clearly saying anything because she doesn't want you, it’s a somewhat ambiguous situation. When someone objects without speaking clearly, even if they want to influence decisions, it leaves everyone in the dark because it's not understood exactly what they don't want and why. I think at some point, it's necessary to sit down and directly ask "why?" Things won’t get resolved with this attitude and silence.

Have you ever thought that the mother's attitude might reflect a sense of regret or lack related to her own life? I mean, perhaps a choice made by your sibling reminds her of something she couldn't do in the past. In such reflections, the subject isn't about the son-in-law or the engagement, but rather her own internal conflict.

Is there a difference in how she interacts with your sister because she doesn't want the son-in-law? Is she harsh towards him but soft towards her, or is she distant with both? Because in such situations, sometimes the main issue may appear to be the son-in-law, but it could actually be a concern about losing her daughter. Is there any difference in her language or attitude in that regard?

What is the attitude of the groom's side? Sometimes the distance or attitude of the other party can also fuel the mother's suspicions. Is your mother’s reluctance entirely internal, or is it caused by some action from the groom's family?

Why is your mother objecting to the engagement? Is she at the same distance from both sides? Or is she reacting more to your brother's quick decision than to the groom? Also, is the groom acting in support of your brother or is he staying out of it? Because if the groom is a passive figure in this process, it's more likely that your mother won't trust him.

I suggest you take a look at the groom's family as well. Perhaps your mother's reluctance is related to their behavior, but she may not be expressing it openly. Some parents consider whether the groom's family will be suitable for a lifetime commitment, and if they feel uncomfortable about it, they might be hesitant to say anything.

How clear is the reason your mother-in-law doesn't want to accept you? I mean, is there a valid reason or are you just facing something like "I just don't like you"? Because sometimes, when there isn't a tangible issue, mothers are granted the right to act on their "gut feeling," while the groom's side ends up being treated unfairly due to this uncertainty. How do you maintain this balance?

Anne doesn't want the son-in-law but you haven't mentioned what her daughter thinks about this. Is your sister disturbed by this situation, or is she ignoring her mother's disapproval? If she is ignoring it, then the issue may revolve not around your mother but around your sister's choice.

The mother not wanting it is an obvious problem, but does the groom not react at all in this regard? I mean, if it's clear that something is being said about his family or another situation, the groom usually shows his stance somewhere. Is the groom behaving as if he is completely out of the situation, or is he experiencing tension with his mother in an open or passive way?

What is the reason for your brother's mother being so insistent despite having so much conflict as he goes through the engagement process? In other words, is your brother confident enough to stand behind the groom, or is this insistence more of a "stubborn mode"? Because the way your sister maintains this situation is just as interesting as your mother's attitude.

I noticed something else regarding your mother's disapproval of her son-in-law; sometimes mothers don't clearly express their concerns about the son-in-law, but they do have a "profile" that they assign to that person. For instance, is it that the son-in-law's profession, age difference, or lifestyle doesn't quite fit in your mother's mind? It might also come from a place that seems a bit like "this isn't suitable for the family."

Consider this perspective as well: Could there be a concern behind your mother’s attitude related to financial matters regarding your spouse’s family or lifestyle? Some parents, especially, hesitate to bring up money issues, yet these types of concerns can internally create a significant problem. Did your sibling make any efforts to explain such details to your mother during this process?

Why your mother-in-law didn't want him and how the groom reacted to this situation is also important. Was there any tension between your mother and him? Or is she just providing "silent support" by keeping her distance from your brother? On the other hand, if your brother entered the engagement process directly without a serious discussion, maybe there are unspoken things in between.

Anne doesn't want the engagement, the groom is quietly supportive, the brother is insistent. But with so many issues as a family, why aren’t you questioning the part about "what is the groom doing in this environment?" I mean, does the other side still think it’s all about a "happy relationship" despite seeing this tension? Strange.

Now, have you thought about where this will lead due to your mother's disapproval of the engagement until your sibling's wedding process? I mean, let's say the engagement part is done, how will communication with your mother be afterward? With so much tension right from the start, won't things be even tenser moving forward?

Sometimes, mothers express their fear of losing control under the guise of not wanting their son-in-law. Your sibling is about to start a new life with their fiancé, and perhaps the mother feels a sense of "slipping away." Do you think the issue is about the son-in-law, or is it more related to the losses brought by this new arrangement?

I think we should also consider why the groom is being so quiet. I mean, if they are serious enough to get engaged, shouldn't he take a position in this tension? Everyone is discussing the mother's and sister's attitudes, but where does the groom stand in all this? Is he also this passive towards his own family?

It's also important to consider why our mother doesn't want this, and why our sibling is so insistent. Sure, "I want this because I love them" is one thing, but there are other realities in life besides love. Is your sibling thinking about the long-term balances that this engagement might create within the family, or are they just in a "let's do it now, we'll see later" mindset?

If your brother is being so persistent, has there ever been a conversation among them about "how do we convince our mom about this"? I mean, while the groom is quietly supportive, shouldn't they defend this relationship together? If your brother is the only one making an effort, how much of a mutual relationship is this engagement?

Well, while your brother is putting in all this effort, he can just continue on his way, whether mom wants it or not. But he clearly expects some emotional benefit from her. It's not just about the engagement; it seems like he wants everyone to give their approval. Isn't that a bit childish when it comes to the idea of engagement? The essence of being an adult is to be able to carry your own decision, even if others don't want it.

If your sibling is this insistent, does this insistence have anything to do with the groom? I mean, does she really want to "build a life" with him, or is this engagement just a way to prove herself, to stand her ground against her mother? Why is she in such a "must-have" mode?

Is my mother's reason for not wanting it clear? I mean, is there a concrete problem with the guy, or is it just a personal incompatibility? If my brother is pushing just out of stubbornness, that's a problem, but if the mother has a point, that needs to be addressed openly. In this ambiguity, it feels like everyone is just eating each other alive.

Your mother not being so clear got me thinking about something else: Could there be an issue related to the groom's family? I mean, is there a concern not just about the groom, but also regarding his surroundings? Maybe she can't express it out loud, but there's something she's anxious about. Has your sibling tried talking to her to figure out what her real issue is?

Was there a direct confrontation between your mother and the groom candidate? I mean, there is an issue within the family, okay, but whether the two adults sat down and talked directly is also important. Maybe there's a lot of talking around it, but everyone is afraid to say the actual truth to each other. Without this conversation, it seems to me that everyone is just chasing assumptions.

Has your mother ever said anything about the son-in-law? I mean, has she ever expressed a sentence like "I don't want this for this reason" in this silence? Or is it purely an emotional reaction? Maybe it's not even about the son-in-law, but rather how it feels like a complete "break" from the perspective of a mother of a married daughter?

There's also this: your mother doesn't want it, that's fine, but is this refusal temporary? I mean, there are many mothers who initially say "no" but then soften once they get to know the son-in-law. Or is this a completely definitive stance? Maybe some time is needed; as the parties warm up to each other, things might change.

Could there have been a tension between your mother and your fiancé that happened before, but you don't know about it? Because the state of "not wanting to speak up" usually stems from either something that can't be said or a buildup from the past. Instead of directly asking "why don't you want to?", it might be a better approach to ask if they've experienced something in the past.

And what about the groom-to-be's attitude? There is so much discussion going on, there is tension in the air; what kind of stance is he taking? Has he made at least some effort to win the mother's heart, or is he completely passive? Because sometimes it's just the bride's side fighting while the groom remains a distant spectator.

Perhaps the issue isn't the groom, but rather your mother's general desire for approval or control over her daughter's life choice. So this could have been about this marriage or something else entirely. That's why it seems necessary to ensure that your mother directly expresses what she finds objectionable about this man and why. Otherwise, the topic will continue to linger in the air without resolution.

Could your mother’s reason for not wanting it be a kind of intuitive suspicion? You know how sometimes there’s an indescribable feeling that just doesn’t sit right with you? Usually, there’s either an example she’s seen in life before or an experience from her personal past behind that. Have you tried to encourage her to speak more openly about it?

Your mother's main concern might not be with your spouse, but rather with your brother's stance in the relationship. You know how in such situations, there's often a vibe of "the groom said this, that's why we are doing it this way," which triggers an alarm for the mother. If she sees her own daughter taking a backseat, her reaction might be directed at the relationship rather than at the groom. Have you ever noticed something like that?

Your mother's refusal to accept the engagement might not be related to your groom or your sibling, but could it be a situation directly related to herself? Sometimes they might develop a general antipathy towards the marriage process due to their own personal experiences. Her constantly remaining off-topic and saying "I don’t want it" feels a bit like she is struggling with her own past. Have you ever talked about what she has gone through?

Is your mother getting involved in any details about the engagement? For example, did she mention a date, place, or anything regarding the organization? Or is it just a completely general stance? Because sometimes when she says she doesn't want to, there's actually a desire to intervene in the details.

Have you considered the possibility that your mother is hiding some information about this relationship from you? I mean, there might be something that you don't know but your mother knows directly. Sometimes, issues are discussed over coffee, but they don't get reflected in the family. Is there something deeper going on? It needs to be investigated.

Could there be a conflict between your mother's disapproval of this relationship and your/family's social expectations or traditions? In other words, is the mindset behind this about "what will people say," or is it truly a personal reaction? If she is trying to silently obstruct it, she might be considering the external reactions that could arise.

Could your mother's exaggerated expectations during this process stem from personal motivations such as disappointment or jealousy? You know, sometimes if there is a history between a mother and daughter, issues can arise through the groom. Have you ever experienced similar tensions between her and your sibling before?

If your mother is so adamant about this, could there be a deeper-rooted trust issue or decision-making conflict between her and your sister? Because people usually reach that outright "no" point when they don't trust the choices of the other party. Does your sister frequently interfere with decisions in other areas as well?

Could your mother’s reluctance be related to financial issues? Sometimes they may not worry about the son-in-law himself, but rather the responsibilities he brings along. For example, there could be a very practical concern like, "Can they support their own household?" Have you ever talked about it from this perspective?

So, could there be a situation regarding the groom's family? You know, sometimes people oppose marriage just because they don't trust the other party's family. Especially if there was some coldness during the meeting or introduction phase, something may have grown from that. Has he ever commented on the groom's family?

Maybe you find your sibling's age or life experience inadequate, but instead of saying it openly, they just brush it off by saying "I don't want to". Have they reacted this way before in important decisions your sibling has made? If this has happened frequently in the past, the issue is not so much about the engagement but rather about them questioning their own authority.

Did your mother say anything clear about your husband's personality? I mean, does she have a concrete objection like "I didn't like that attitude," or does it all remain within a general "it's not acceptable"? Because it would make sense to look for a specific trigger in a person's or an event's definite opposition like this.

Could there be a discomfort related to the groom's surroundings rather than just the individual? I mean, it could be something about his friend group, lifestyle, or work environment that is causing unease. In some cases, parents worry not directly about the person but about their social connections, yet they find it difficult to express this. Did your sibling hint at such an indirect concern?

Maybe your mother is questioning the groom's intentions regarding marriage. Is he serious, does his family view this match with the same seriousness? Some mothers assess the groom's family's approach to the engagement or wedding, for instance, they might even ponder, "Is the groom's mother taking this matter seriously?" Is there any coldness on that side?

Maybe your mother has a scenario in mind not for the engagement situation but for after the wedding. Could she have a fear about the future, like "she might marry him but then get divorced, and the burden will fall on us"? Does your mother openly discuss such concerns about the future, or does she always imply them?