Recently, when I checked our joint account, I noticed an amount missing from my husband's salary. When I asked him about it, he didn't want to give a clear answer, which made me suspicious. I'm trying to figure out if he's paying off debt or spending it elsewhere, but he's not being open about it. Do you think this is normal, or could something else be going on?
My spouse once told me, “I have debt, but I won’t tell you the details.” It turned out they had taken out a loan to pay off my father-in-law’s debt. So sometimes there isn’t any bad intent, but it still leaves you feeling distrustful.
Do you use separate accounts or is this just part of a joint account? Are all salaries processed through your control?
@cokdaseyapma has a separate account, but normally used to deposit his entire salary into the joint account, so that's where the shortfall became apparent 🤭
@soncaykaldi I really can't defend this. Even if it's debt, I think hiding it creates a serious problem in a marriage. If something comes out later, it would mean he’d be trampling on your rights too.
Economic security is a fundamental part of marriage. In such cases, it makes sense to ask directly and expect a straightforward answer. Even in civil law, there are provisions regarding the economic transparency of spouses, but of course, when it comes to practical matters, things get complicated.
I don't think the issue here is hiding a salary. No one has asked, but why isn't the guy speaking frankly? I mean, it's pretty obvious that he's hiding something, but the reason is being overlooked. Is he afraid of something, for example? 😅
If you're getting involved that much, maybe the guy is just bored?
How do you know the total salary of the man? Maybe he stated a different number at first. If it has always been correct and this shortfall is new, there is a problem. But if he inflated his salary from the start and it's only being noticed now, that's a different situation.
