Relatives from the village are pressuring my fiancée to get married

I've been in a similar situation, we were engaged too. My family talked to someone from the village, and they said, 'If the guy doesn't take this seriously, the girl will run away.' My folks panicked and moved the wedding date up. But if I hadn't listened to my fiancée, I would have been very sorry; rushing things never leads to a good outcome.

That's exactly why they pressured the engagement before the wedding. But the economy was really bad back then, so we talked openly to avoid putting pressure on my fiancé. I think feelings are important, but you also need to send the message to his family that 'everything is under control.'

I think it's a really oppressive situation. In our class, they were doing the same to a girl's sister, and she was so stressed that she directly ended the engagement. They really made a mess while trying to do something good. So, if you're not feeling ready, I would say be clear about it.

So, have you talked to your fiancé about this pressure? Did you ask him to tell his family, 'this won't work for now'? It seems like you're kind of waiting for him to be passive, and he clearly is in a tough spot.

Let me speak from a man's perspective; maybe saying 'Not now' to his family is more difficult for your fiancé. Many men can be weak in these matters when it comes to their families. But I think if you openly support him, he might be able to resist more comfortably.

Social pressures like this can really affect people's decision-making processes. I think one way to convey that you’re not ready is to present concrete materials; for example, you haven't bought a house yet, so use that as a justification. But it would be good to get support from an expert (like a relationship counselor) during the process.

Let me add this, friends, my fiancé actually doesn’t seem to want to rush the process, but the phrase 'you’re already engaged, what are you waiting for' has been repeated so much by his family... It’s affecting his mood right now.

I don't think families approach it with bad intentions; they just speak based on their experiences. Don’t our elders say, 'If the engagement lasts too long, there could be unpleasantness'? The economy will certainly improve, but this is the right time for marriage.

Is your not feeling ready a bit of the "real reason," or is it a reaction to relatives coming from the village? In other words, if you're postponing the engagement just because "they pressured you," there might be a stubbornness on your part as well.