I was going to a friend’s gathering and I had worn my favorite dress from my closet. But when my cousin saw me, she said, ‘How did you think to wear that?’ and literally criticized my outfit. I mean, maybe it could be out of style or something, but it really hurt me. Don’t you think people should be a bit more careful when making such comments?
I mean, I got really angry about this because a person’s clothes are their personal space, you know? Especially if you’re going to make such a hurtful comment, think about it first. A similar thing happened with a friend of mine, they said in front of everyone in the place, ‘What’s this, you wore this?’ I was literally frozen. That’s why I have zero tolerance for these kinds of comments anymore.
I think the issue here is not about the clothes but the relationship with your cousin. Is there usually a harsh or blunt comment? I mean, does she hurt you in other ways too?
@denizova yes, actually she doesn’t do this for the first time. There’s usually a tendency to criticize, but she mostly does it regarding clothes. My mom doesn’t really say much about it either; she just lets it go as if it’s normal.
@soran Why would my mom say anything, she probably just doesn’t like something. Maybe my cousin is right, if the clothes are old or mismatched then she’ll comment. If you feel hurt, then sit down and explain it, don’t just stay silent and let it go.
To be honest, there is no concept of ‘old’ in fashion; the main issue is how comfortable a person feels inside. But the real problem here is style. Critiquing is one thing, speaking harshly is another. I think you should try to calmly talk to your cousin about this issue. Especially if there is a constant state of criticism, it might damage your self-confidence.
@suaterkek are you serious? Criticism might be normal, but there’s a way to do it. Does everyone have the right to say anything under the guise of ‘I’m just speaking the truth’ by interfering with how others dress? That’s outright disrespectful.
My sister’s side thinks like this too. Once, my cousin said, ‘Wear something else so your waist doesn’t look thick.’ After about 10 seconds of silence, I said, ‘Who are you to tell me?’ She made a big face but never spoke thoughtlessly like that again. If you’re uncomfortable, I think you should take a stand. Be clear about it, not every comment is to be accepted.