My partner greatly underestimated me in the salary negotiation

[aklimkaldi]

I’m going to negotiate for a raise at work; I’ve been putting in a lot of effort for a long time. I thought I’d share my excitement with my partner at home, and they immediately said, ‘You don’t make much money at your job anyway.’ Instead of feeling motivated, it really brought my spirits down. Do you think this reaction is normal, or is there a problem?

[soncaykaldi (Son Çay Kaldı)]

I think it’s very wrong for your partner to belittle you instead of supporting you. Your job might not pay well, but you are putting in effort after all. If my spouse said something like that, I would really be hurt. Don’t brush it off, I’d say have a conversation about it

[cokdaseyapma]

Oh, this sounds very familiar to me. Sometimes guys make these strange comments. Maybe he isn’t aware of it, and he spoke without thinking. But still, I think he should take something you care about seriously

[kahvebitmeden]

Honestly, I can understand your girlfriend a bit. If you say the job’s salary is generally low in that sector, you shouldn’t let it get you down too much knowing that. She might have made a neutral comment, but it feels like you took it personally.

[fazlakurcalama]

Some people don’t really understand the need to provide motivation and think their criticism will be constructive. Your partner’s intentions may not be entirely bad, but it’s important to express this correctly. After all, people want to feel valued

[aklimkaldi]

I should also mention that there is really a perception in this industry that everyone works for low salaries, but I have valid reasons to negotiate with my boss. I just wished my partner would notice this

[biseydiycem]

I think there are other issues behind what your girlfriend is saying. Is she perhaps feeling uncomfortable about this salary increase? For example, is she afraid that you earning more money might make you feel superior to her?

[benbisorayim]

I experienced something similar with a friend of mine; her partner kept saying things like “You can’t do it.” When such things accumulate in relationships, it becomes a problem. Try to express your thoughts openly, but focus on staying motivated, so it doesn’t ruin your enjoyment.

[makarnaoncesi]

Equality and support are very determinant in relationships. If this kind of approach is dragging you down, it’s worth taking a moment to think about it. Maybe there’s a gap in communication, but it doesn’t seem like something that can’t be fixed. If it really hurts, don’t forget to draw a line.