I've been feeling uncomfortable in the office for a while now. My boss keeps saying things like 'you've dressed nicely, who are you getting ready for?' He says he's joking, but it makes me uncomfortable. I'm also worried that if I clearly say 'please stop', it might put my job at risk. Do you think this counts as harassment, and how should I approach it?
I think it's wrong to take what you're doing as a joke. By saying things like 'Who is this preparation for?' you’re actually trying to intrude on their personal life. In a work environment, you shouldn't leave a door open for things like this. If you stay silent now, you'll feel worse in the future.
Let me also say, they might not have bad intentions. Some men speak like this without thinking. Saying 'Oh come on, don’t be sensitive' shows that he isn’t really concerned. Maybe before doing something harsh, he should make it clear that he feels uncomfortable.
Comments like these in the office are not very appropriate from a business ethics perspective. Even if it's called a 'joke,' if it created pressure on you, you might want to research the Labor Law regarding this issue. But before taking any steps, check if there is a complaint procedure within the company. You can try consulting with Human Resources.
I would also like to add that I thought about talking to human resources, but we don't really get along. If I go to them, it feels like it would look like I’m 'making a big deal out of it.' So, to be honest, I’m afraid it would complicate my situation. Would it be more straightforward if I just said, 'I'm uncomfortable'?
A friend of mine went through a similar situation where the male boss kept repeating the same things, claiming he was joking. My friend directly said, 'You are making me uncomfortable, please stop joking.' The boss kept his distance for a while. Sometimes being clear is the best option because they keep going when you beat around the bush.
