Today at work, my boss suddenly made a comment in front of everyone, asking, 'Have you gained weight lately?' My face literally turned red. I felt very uncomfortable but couldn't say anything in that situation. Do you think I should stay silent about this, or should I speak up? Has anyone else experienced something like this?
I think this is a bit more complicated... You say it's like 'in front of everyone,' as if it's not something special to you. Maybe consider whether they make similar comments to others as well? What’s your boss's character like, are they someone who constantly throws shade like this?
They had said something similar to me at my old job as well. But in a more indirect way, they had asked, 'Do you pay attention to living healthily?' I then stated my discomfort clearly, and they didn’t try that again. But it’s a difficult step, I admit.
So did the boss laugh when he said that, or was he serious? How did the people around react? I think the people you mentioned in front of everyone are important too. Was the conversation already turning personal like that, or did he just blurt it out out of the blue?
Sure, but have you ever thought about why your boss said that? Maybe there have been real changes lately that were noticed. For instance, if your clothes have started to fit tighter at work, that might be what they're referring to. Not everything should be taken as criticism.
Comments related to the body in the workplace can generally be considered harassment. However, it's important to analyze the intent and context carefully. If such comments are repeated consistently, you can report the situation to Human Resources in writing. But trying to have a conversation first might be a softer solution.
Let me add something: My boss is normally a laid-back person, but I've never witnessed him making comments like that about gender or weight. The people around us laughed a little, but it wasn't really supportive. I usually don't have issues at work; this incident just felt very strange.
It's not about the weight here, it's about the violation of boundaries. No one, especially someone in a position of authority, has the right to comment on another person's body. They've used their authority to make you feel ashamed. Speak up privately or go to HR, but don't stay silent.
Well, I don't think you should have felt like you had to stay silent just because the boss said so. Of course, I don't know the atmosphere, but for example, I would have just cut off the topic by saying, 'This is a very special matter.' I don't understand why people think they have the right to interfere in someone else's weight.
I don't think the boss meant anything malicious if he said something like that. You know how sometimes older people might say something in passing, even as a kind of warning to their closest ones? Also, check if you've really gained weight; if it affects your health, it won't matter what anyone else says, it will only harm you.
