I have to feel what Patronus says

I think there is a situation like mobbing at this workplace.

so why are you just staying quiet and going through these? didn't you have anything to say? 😂

@yazipsildim, to be honest, I tried to react a few times in passing, but it only made things worse. Plus, it seems like rumors have come up that you noticed among the team, so I'm staying neutral.

If you have a team member that you resonate with, strengthen your support first. Then you can clearly ask them why they did it, I think, but be careful. Or focus directly on HR if necessary.

@camkenari bullying, huh? Disdain is an interesting thing; we shouldn't exaggerate things by constantly calling it bullying. Sometimes, it's just a matter of job distinction. Is there anyone who doesn’t have a joking relationship with their boss?

At my old place, there was someone who was constantly making snide remarks, it was unbearable. When I couldn't take it anymore, I left like I was running away, but later I found out that someone had complained to HR. It really worked.

this situation can directly fall under workplace psychological harassment (mobbing) in labor law, but in order to prove it, strong written or audio evidence is needed. I think it's better to consult a lawyer before applying to HR.

I don't understand this; in what way is he belittling you? Is he just joking or saying serious things?

@benbisorayim is right. If there’s no evidence, one says "I was misunderstood," and the other says "I didn’t mean that," and then you end up looking bad.

If they're constantly targeting you, the team is likely aware of it; it must be catching someone else's attention. Why not try asking a couple of trusted people before going to HR how it looks from the outside? That way, you won't feel alone, and you'll act more clearly.

You mentioned that "the team is aware," but they usually ignore such things anyway. When asked directly, you always get evasive answers like 'they hint at it but don’t make it obvious.' Focus on exactly which actions clearly cross a line.

Are there any repercussions of your boss's actions that persist outside of work? Are they exhibiting an attitude that interferes with their own field, or is it just their behavior in the work process that bothers you? It's important to distinguish between the two 😮‍💨

The real issue is this: has their condescension become an obstacle to your work? Or is it just irritating, but there's always something work-related to focus on? What's critical is how far they have crossed the line. Observe, if you collect the small things, the picture will become clearer 🫠

Could it be that they are behaving this way because you haven't met an expectation initially? In other words, is there a situation where they're reflecting a disappointment about their work onto you? If you've spoken with someone who has experienced something similar before, maybe you can identify a pattern.

So does your boss's dismissive attitude gain weight when you speak or offer an idea? Or does he do it entirely independently? If there is a negative history related to work, is he looking for a concrete reason? Have you noticed this?

How is the patron's communication with other employees? I mean, is it like this with everyone or have they singled you out? If it's a general attitude, then that's their management style and it shouldn't be taken personally. But if you feel like you're always the target, then there might be a more specific reason.

If your boss has singled you out for special treatment, it's usually related to a display of power or ego gratification. But have you ever tried to talk to them clearly to understand why they are behaving that way? What kind of reaction do you think you would get if you asked them directly, "What is the reason for the way you are treating me?"

"What is the reason for your behavior towards me?" is not something I think should be asked directly like that. If the person already has a dismissive attitude, they will likely become even more defensive. It’s more reasonable to confront them with concrete examples and expect an explanation related to the specific issue. For instance, asking, "What did you mean by what you said in that meeting?" would be a better approach. Don't leave it vague.

When it comes to concrete examples, usually defenses like "you misunderstood" or "that wasn't my intention" come into play. So you expect a clear explanation, but end up with evasive answers that lead to the same outcome. If you've worked with someone like that, you know that sometimes being straightforward is the only way to go.

When someone is evasive when you give a concrete example, you should plan the next step. For instance, have you tried communicating in writing? If there is consistently a condescending tone in meetings, try to confirm these in an email or a documented setting. If someone twists things when you ask face-to-face, if they manipulate it once in writing, everyone will see.

Written confirmation is logical, but what if this guy is doing the writing in a condescending manner? I mean, even in an email, there can be tones like "it's weird that you would ask such a simple thing." What are you going to do then? Writing won't save you either.