I just started at my workplace, but my boss is very attentive. At first, I thought it was well-meaning, but he started messaging me constantly and asking questions about my personal life. Should I evaluate this as harassment, or am I overreacting? In such a situation, how should I behave? Do you think I should brush it off or be open and talk about it?
I definitely think there is a boundary. Acting like a friend is one thing, but constantly asking questions about his private life is another. He needs to maintain a professional distance at work, especially since he is the boss. I don't think he's overdoing it.
It's strange for someone to constantly message an employee, regardless of gender, and ask about their personal life. I think you shouldn't cover it up at all; set the boundary from the beginning, or it will only escalate.
But now there's something, maybe they're really a helpful person? Isn't there an option like they're just trying to help you get used to the work environment since you're new? Isn't it a bit early to jump to the negative interpretation? 🤔
If they have started asking questions about your private life and you feel uncomfortable, it is best to express this openly. According to labor law, a comfortable and peaceful working environment must be provided in the workplace. If their interest feels too intimate, it would also be a good idea to keep written records of the conversations.
Let me add this too, you know how sometimes we discuss work and then suddenly it shifts to personal topics. For example, last time they asked questions like, 'Where were you last weekend, who were you with?' but the way they said it was a bit confusing for me. I'm not quite sure what their intention really is.
Can I ask something, do these messages continue outside of working hours? Because if that's the case, we could say it's completely gone beyond work. Or maybe they are just things that interfere when discussing work?
I think you should speak clearly. When you message, say something like, 'I think these topics should remain outside of work.' If you're uncomfortable, you can also submit a written complaint to HR; at least you'll have a record.
In such situations, behavior matters, not intentions. The boss-employee relationship already involves an imbalance of power. Therefore, calling intrusive questions outside of work 'good intentions' puts you in a difficult position. It is very clear: they cannot interfere in your private life.
I think we should look into this guy's past. He might have treated other employees this way too. He could be testing your boundaries since you're new. If he has bad intentions, his attitude will become clear as soon as you stand your ground.
