Recently, my boss has been bothering me with his occasional jokes. For example, the other day he said something like, âthis office is too much for someone like you.â Iâm not sure if itâs truly malicious, but I feel uneasy. Should I go and talk to HR, or am I overreacting? What should I do?
I think this joke is a bit weird. Itâs unclear whether saying âtoo much for someone like youâ is a joke or an insult. I went through the same thing; my boss once said something like âIâve hired a model for the office.â Then I realized he was always trying to draw attention with such remarks. You need to set boundaries depending on the situation.
Actually, this is quite common, especially among some male bosses who speak in such a âsarcasticâ manner. It sometimes stems not from bad intentions, but from a failure to make a joke. But if you felt uncomfortable, I think itâs worth responding gently just once; maybe theyâre not even aware.
I find it strange that you only exaggerated this much. The guy didnât insult directly; you said he insinuated something. If you think there was an insinuation, why didnât you ask, âWhat did you mean?â at that moment? Now, when you go to HR, what are you going to say? Thereâs nothing clear here.
Comments made under the guise of âjokesâ in the workplace can also fall under the scope of mobbing. Looking at it from different angles: 1) If itâs not a single incident, it could be a habit, 2) Even if it is called a joke, if it expresses bias, you can refute it. You might try to talk to HR informally first for informational purposes.
Let me add something, actually they sometimes make jokes like this to others in the office too, but it feels like they joke with me a bit more. For example, the other day they said something like, âI donât think you can do this.â The others donât really care, but I guess I got a bit offended.
Honey, this is just the bosses trying to show their âsuperiority.â If it were my daughter, she would say at that moment, âBoss, that felt like a bit of a hurtful joke.â You need to be clear, otherwise it will just keep going like this. If youâre going to HR, you should have a solid reason, you canât just talk about it 
Hereâs the thing: if everyone in the office is laughing it off and youâre the only one who finds it problematic, the real issue might be a difference in perception. Are they always making jokes at your expense, or are they just joking around with everyone? Do you feel like youâre in a position where jokes shouldnât be made? You need to clarify that.