My ex constantly criticized me, saying things like, 'watch your weight', 'your face looks down, are you sick?' It's been 6 months since we broke up, but I still feel the need to go to the doctor to check if there's something wrong with me. Is this normal, or am I still affected by his words?
Honestly, in this situation, there could be the influence of two different things. Continuous criticism can distort a person's body image. On the one hand, the feeling of 'do I have something' could be something we call somatization. If you don't have any physical issues, seeking psychological support might be beneficial. If it hasn't decreased in six months, I wouldn't take it lightly.
I think it's time to stop blaming an ex in such sensitive matters and look in the mirror instead. If they criticized your weight, maybe there was a need for that. But since it's in the past, don't dwell on it anymore; constantly going over the same thoughts is exhausting.
Yeah, I understand you so well about that. My ex used to say "your eyes look sunken," and then when I looked in the mirror, I would picture it myself. It's that constant feeling of "questioning yourself," it’s really bad. I couldn't even look in the mirror properly when I got up in the morning. It gets better over time, but it's really tough in the beginning.
I forgot to mention that the criticisms he made were usually about direct physical things, like my pimples and the gap between my teeth. I mean, he would even make an issue out of things that weren't really that important. I guess that's why I'm so affected by it.
This is already a clear indication of his toxic controlling behavior. Constant criticism and finding faults is a method of creating a power imbalance. He has manipulated the relationship by saying, 'You are inadequate, you need to meet my standard.' Feeling dependent on his approval is not your issue, it was his.
