The other day, my girlfriend met with my family, and the conversation was focused on the table. When my family started to pick on some of my traits, she joined in and teased me, too. Honestly, it bothered me, but then I thought about how she would feel if I did the same with her family. Do you think this is normal, or should people set boundaries?
I experienced the same thing myself. My ex acted like that at a dinner one evening. My mom already criticized me a lot, and she joined in on the same mindset. In that moment, I couldn't say anything, but when we got home, we had a terrible fight. She should understand that if you did it in front of her family, she would be hurt too. I think you should talk about this openly; it's important to set boundaries.
I totally get you. In such an environment, especially feeling vulnerable towards your family, getting hit by your partner is really tough. When they're at the table, you feel a warmth on your face, and if you speak up, it can turn bad, but if you stay quiet, it just builds up inside you. But afterwards, you definitely need to put a stop to it.
So, did you tell him that? I mean, did you open up to him about thinking, "How would you feel if I did this in your family?" Maybe he doesn't realize how heavy it is for you.
These usually stem from a lack of communication. The concept of boundaries is important in relationships, especially in situations involving families. Both sides need to express their sensitivities clearly. If this is a one-time situation, kindly outline your boundaries. But if it happens repeatedly, it’s necessary to dig a little deeper.
I wanted to make an update, let me add this: I tried to talk to him about this issue, and he said, 'I wouldn't do something like that in my family,' but he seemed to not care much. That's why I think I've started to dwell on it more.
Sometimes when a girlfriend exaggerates a joke in front of her family, it's coming from our intention to "blend in with the crowd." But if it made you feel hurt, she probably isn't aware of it. Usually, we miss these subtle things and think they are normal. Just bring it up simply in a calm setting, and once she realizes, she will likely fix it.
