My boyfriend asked me for a loan for the first time, and he really seems to be in a tight spot, but I have a suspicion inside me. When will he pay it back, will he pay it back, or could he be using me? What do you think should be done in a situation like this? Has anyone experienced something like this before?
My girlfriend once asked me for a loan, saying she was 'really in a bind.' After I gave her the money, it was like pulling teeth to get it back. Excuse after excuse, delay after delay. I think it's best to say 'no' the moment you feel she won't pay you back.
I experienced something similar; at first, I gave in because it was an emergency, but then I realized it became a habit for them. I don't know exactly how much they want, but if the amount is significant, I'd advise you to think twice.
Honestly, I would say no right away if I were you. Because this is how these things start, and then before you know it, it turns into a financial relationship. If it were my daughter, I would say, 'You can't trust someone who can't stand on their own two feet.'
I completely understand that feeling of doubt; it really gnaws at you. Especially the question of 'is he/she using me' can really mess with your mind. But here's something you can do: instead of lending money, talk about solutions by asking 'how can we resolve this?' Maybe you'll get a better sense of their intentions 🫣
Now I ask you friendly, if you don't trust your partner, why are you together? Alright, they asked for a loan once, fine, you might have doubts. But if you said, 'are they using me,' is the real problem with them or with you?
Here's the thing: money relations, especially among lovers, are a very sensitive topic. Focus on the amount and payment plan rather than behavior. For example, setting a written payment date would be safer for everyone. If the intention is sincere, they will accept this step.
Let me add, the amount isn't actually that huge, but it's the disturbing thought of 'what if they don't pay it back.' Also, we've never discussed something like this before, so it's not complete distrust, but the concern is a bit too much.
I think there’s something else going on. If it’s the first time they’re asking you, maybe they’ve asked someone else before. Or they might be backed into a corner about something right now. I suggest you investigate a bit, don’t just trust what they’re telling you 😅
