My girlfriend has been saying for the last month that her salary isn't enough and has been asking me for money. At first, I lent it to her with good intentions, but it has now become a habit. We're also experiencing some delays in repayment. Do you think I should be concerned or should I not want to strain our relationship? How should I set a boundary here? I need your opinion.
I think you need to draw a clear line now. Write down all the debts you have given in a notebook along with the dates, then sit down and look at it together. Say openly, 'I gave this much, let's talk about the repayment plan.' Because if it continues like this, it could really go bad.
If this borrowing issue is related to not having enough salary, show them your own budget. Have a realistic conversation like, 'I'm also spending this much, and it's not enough.' Try to find out if they can manage their money. There might be another issue.
Honestly, you're saying I shouldn't force the relationship, but wait a minute, is he spending his salary on you or elsewhere? I'm asking so that if you keep lending him money, he doesn't take advantage of your good intentions. If financial matters are causing discomfort, they should be discussed.
It is worth noting that discussing money in relationships is often challenging, but if you don't address it, it can lead to bigger problems in the future. One approach that can be tried is to create a joint budget. You can write down your needs and incomes together on a piece of paper and make a clearer plan.
I want to add that, actually, it’s not huge amounts, but it has started to happen more frequently. For example, last week they asked for 200 TL, and this week again it was 300. Also, sometimes I see them making luxury expenses. It feels to me like the repayments are sometimes forgotten.
I have a question: is the period when they said this salary isn't enough just this month, or has it always been like this? Because if it's a new situation, there might be an additional expense category. Have you ever talked about where they spent the debt?
Be really clear, girl. If she asked for a loan, she needs to pay you back. If she’s not paying, it’s a classic case of being used. If this keeps going like this, it won’t work out healthily. My friend had a similar situation, and it ended badly. I suggest you resolve it quickly. 😮💨
The main issue here is this: Why is he managing his own budget so recklessly? If frequently asking for loans has become a habit and there is no balance between income and expenses, this seems to be not just a communication problem but also a lack of financial skills. You may need to sit down and analyze the root of this habit together. This would be an important step not only for your relationship but also for him.
