We've been together for a year and things were good between us, but recently, he told me something serious: he asked for a bit of money. He said he's in a tight financial spot and explained his situation, but honestly, I have a ton of questions in my mind. If I don't lend him the money, will it damage our trust? What if I lend it and he doesn’t pay me back? What do you think I should do in this situation?
I once lent money to my girlfriend too; I intended to ask for it back for 5 months. She said she would pay me back sweetly when I mentioned it, but things changed. How much she wants is also important; I think if it's a large amount, you should think twice.
Make sure to learn the reason why they are borrowing before giving them money. If it's an urgent health or work situation, it makes sense up to a point. But don’t give money without clearly asking when they will pay it back. In fact, if possible, have it in writing.
You've been together for a year, and you think he should be a guy who's earned your trust, but your worry about "what if he doesn't pay?" is normal. It's kind of like a test in a relationship. Seeing that money going out at that moment cools you off a bit 🥲
But I mean, you've known each other for a year and you still can't trust enough to lend money? There’s a serious problem here. You need to question the relationship. Is money your priority, or trust?
Whether trust is shaken or not depends on how openly you talk when giving money. To minimize risk, you could at least create a written agreement. As the amount increases, legal support may be necessary. However, it's not needed for 3-5 thousand.
Let me add this: They didn't ask for a very large amount, around 8-9 thousand. They seemed very embarrassed to ask for a loan, but in the end, they did. If they don't pay it back, it feels like it would be difficult to maintain the relationship.
Sometimes men turn to their closest ones when they feel desperate. They might set aside their pride and ask for help, but it's like a test of trust. If they don't pay back, you'll start to question their seriousness, but don't jump to conclusions and assume their intentions are bad right away.
