My girlfriend borrowed some money from me last month and promised to pay it back, but she still hasn't given anything. We talk about everything, but she seems uncomfortable when I bring this up. I'm afraid of both feeling embarrassed and damaging our relationship. What do you think I should do in this situation? Does the issue of borrowing money harm relationships?
My daughter, I always tell you to stay away from things like this. If you were my daughter, I would definitely tell you never to get involved with borrowing. You give, but you don't get back, and it also creates distance in relationships. Now sit down calmly, talk it out properly, but don't drag it out too much.
The same thing happened to me, my ex used to constantly borrow money, saying, "I'll pay you back when I get my salary." Then I realized that this was just his nature, he never paid me back. Is yours like that too? I'd say try to understand him, but if he can't pay, he won't force himself to.
I think you should show that it's bothering you, but in a gentle tone. For example, ask, 'What's your plan regarding the refund?' Be clear, so they know what you think. Otherwise, this issue will be left hanging 🥲
Honestly, it's also a bit your fault. If there was no intention to pay it back, you shouldn't have lent it in the first place. It's normal for them to feel uncomfortable now that you're asking about it, because things like this don't get resolved without discussion. If you're going to lend money, I'd think twice.
Let me add this, the debt he took is not that big but it's still important for me. A few times I asked indirectly, he said, 'I haven't fully recovered yet' and so on. He doesn't really want to talk about finances between us, maybe he's just hesitant.
Actually, it's a sensitive situation for both themselves and the relationship. They might really be struggling and feeling embarrassed. But in a sincere relationship, it should be talked about. I think it’s important to set the right boundaries and not prolong it unnecessarily 😅
Such topics draw boundaries of trust. If the debt is causing a financial issue, the mutual intent needs to be clear. You might consider offering payment in other ways instead of cash, for example, by giving up something you are owed.
Having debt involved in a relationship is wrong from the start. Even if it's someone from the family, money issues can cause problems, and it should never be with a partner. Even neighborhood gossip can arise. First, let go of this mistake, then reconsider the relationship.
