I've recently noticed something with my girlfriend. She's been chatting a lot in DMs with my closest friend. At first, it seemed normal, but now it's reached a somewhat troubling level. It feels like it's just for show, but I can't decide whether it's ordinary intimacy or if boundaries are being crossed. Do you think this is normal or should I intervene?
Honestly, I experienced something similar a while ago. The guy was constantly joking and messaging my friend. One day I accidentally saw a message on his phone that said "don't let H. see this," which he had sent to his friend. I directly asked him about the situation, and he said, "We were just joking," but it wasn't a joke at all. Here, you need to trust your instincts; such things are usually not felt for nothing.
Actually, we should think about this too. Maybe you have set an unnecessary distance with your friend here, and they are simply filling the gap you left. Or maybe they are just not hesitating to have a sincere conversation. Before jumping to conclusions about it being negative, it might be worth considering this possibility.
I can say that such situations usually arise from a lack of communication. If you didn't express your discomfort at the beginning, it may now seem strange for you to say that you're uncomfortable. Sitting down with your partner and calmly talking honestly while explaining your feelings seems like the healthiest approach. Otherwise, these kinds of things can seriously affect the dynamics of the relationship in the future.
I thought a bit and actually something caught my attention. At first, I introduced my friend and my girlfriend to each other because I wanted to spend time with both of them. But it seems like they filled the void I left. Now I don't know how to go back. Maybe stepping aside might help, but I'm not sure.
To put it frankly, these things are dangerous. Such matters have always caused problems in the past, and while no one notices, other issues arise in between. If you feel uncomfortable, take a clear stand. No one in society appreciates a significant other being so comfortable with another woman. If you don't take action, you will find yourself in a much tougher situation in the future.
