I've noticed something; my partner is still following their ex on Instagram and has even liked some of their posts. Should I be concerned about this, or should I just stay quiet and ignore it? If I bring it up, will it come off as jealousy? But this situation is bothering me a bit.
Well, here’s the thing: I think this is pretty much a clear boundary issue. I mean, if they're still following their ex, it feels to me like that chapter isn't really closed. Especially if they're liking posts or something, that just makes it weirder. I think you should talk about this; it’s not jealousy, it’s discomfort.
I don't think such things should be normalized. Following an ex on social media, especially liking their posts... It feels like a matter of choice and respect. I would say, sit down and have a conversation, then make your decision based on their response.
But I mean, your partner is ultimately an individual; isn't it a bit extreme to think that they're tied to the past just because they're following their ex? No one can completely erase their past. If there's no issue in their behavior towards you, I think we shouldn't blow it out of proportion.
Such discomforts can actually indicate that the boundaries in the relationship have not yet been clearly defined. Instead of trying to restrict your partner, if you explicitly express why it is bothersome to you, you'll achieve healthier outcomes. However, if this situation keeps recurring, it may signal trust issues that you should pay attention to.
Let me add that he had a serious relationship with his ex-girlfriend years ago, and he even introduced her to his family. Now the situation seems weirder to me because he said recently, 'We're just friends,' but if there’s so much history from the past, it’s hard to believe.
Oh girl, if it’s a serious relationship, it’s a different situation in my opinion. If there is still a bond, you shouldn’t expect any sacrifices from yourself. Just be straightforward and say, 'This is against my boundaries, be careful' and see how she reacts.
But there could be something like this as well, I mean no matter how serious they were in the past, it could just be a habit now. If we were to cut every ex out of our lives, then everyone’s social media list would be empty. Are you sure it’s as big of a deal as it’s made out to be?
If your level of discomfort increases even though they say "we're friends", it indicates a deficiency in the foundation of trust in your relationship. This situation should be discussed. However, if it is not sufficient, support such as mediation or couples therapy may also be considered. It would be healthier to proceed without direct blaming.
I swear I've experienced this kind of thing once, and then my partner started meeting with their ex whom they claimed was just a 'friend.' If you don't set boundaries from the beginning, things can escalate. My opinion is that you should be clear and direct instead of waiting 😐
