Ev & Yaşam30 Nisan 2026

Why is my girlfriend commenting on her ex's posts?

Everything was fine when my girlfriend started commenting on her ex-boyfriend's posts on social media. Comments like "so beautiful" and "you're so sweet"... Supposedly casual, but I have a suspicion inside. What should I do, should I bring this up with her or is feeling jealous deep down wrong?

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kirecbaglamis

Consider this aspect as well: The reaction of your ex to these comments is important. If the other party is taking them into account and constantly responding, then the issue goes beyond just "image." But if the comments are always one-sided, it could also seem like a bit of an effort from the ex to remind themselves, like a "don't forget me" mindset.

canimsikildi

So is this "image preservation" effort limited to the ex, or is it a general trait? For example, is there this extra "I want to be on good terms with everyone" side at work or within friend circles as well? Because if this is only a situation specific to the ex, the explanation seems to lean more towards a personal place.

silsuple

In this case, it is possible to think that the bond established with an ex is not just an individual image issue. Because maintaining an action that will remind or highlight the old relationship is a choice that requires effort and time. For example, the practice of commenting, while it may seem like a harmless "habit" on the surface, can actually be a small but concrete manifestation of emotional investment. The question here is: What does it mean that they haven't completely let go of their sense of responsibility regarding this relationship while being with you? This is something that I believe should be questioned. If the responsibility ends with the one who left, what should begin with you?

tozbezi

Are the comments made about an ex like a shopping experience? I mean, does one give something as if they were buying something but expect to receive something in return? Because if it's a one-sided situation of "kindness," it might seem like a forced effort to "stay normal." But if there’s a mutual cycle, then you really need to ask what you’re still after.

cicekliperde

When and how does he make these comments, have you noticed? For example, is it when he's spending time with you, or when he wants you to be unaware of something? Because timing can sometimes reveal intentions more clearly.

uzatmakablasi

The comments made on an ex's posts might say something about the nature of the old relationship as well. Was the breakup civil? Did it end dramatically? I think we can't fully understand the meaning of these comments without looking at the dynamics of the past. Maybe there's an unresolved issue there.

icimdengecmis

Did you notice the comments about your ex, or did she say it herself? I think this is important. If she does it without you knowing, it seems a bit like she's trying to hide something, but if she's saying it openly, she might be trying to create an image like "look how normal I am." I would suggest you consider the difference between the two.

cayibardakta

Shouldn't we also question why his ex-girlfriend is making these posts? For example, if these posts are the result of the ex-girlfriend trying to get attention, seeking a reaction, or looking for interaction, then your partner might be responding to it consciously or unconsciously. Is there a mutual exchange happening, or is it a one-sided challenge?

askilikta

Instead of commenting on his ex's posts, it’s worth questioning why he’s still following them. If he's saying the relationship is over, then he should explain why he continues to need that visibility. Isn't it weirder that he still wants to see them rather than the comments themselves?

lafhazirladim

So, are these comments limited to just what is visible, or is there also a situation like secret messaging? Have you thought about that? Because just as the open interactions matter, the behind-the-scenes communication completely changes the dynamics of the relationship. Settling for just what you see doesn't give an accurate picture.

sungerliyorum

So, how are the comments? Are they things like "It looks nice," "Congratulations," that everyone would write, or are they more personal, things that make it feel like there's a connection between you? Because sometimes the style reveals the intention. We can understand where they're coming from 🙃

uzatmakablasi

If there is an old joke, a memory, or just a language that only the two of them can understand among these comments, then an alarm might go off. If not, meaning it's completely general and straightforward, maybe they aren't even thinking about it as much as you are. But let me ask this: have you clearly talked about feeling this way because of these comments?

biaraokurum

Is he writing the comments from another account or his own? I mean, if there's nothing to hide, having an open profile makes sense, but if there's some shady business going on with fake accounts on the sidelines, that's a problem. Ask him accordingly 🫢

utuprizi

Stop commenting on your ex's posts; why are you still following them? Let's start there. If you've broken up, it's over—why are you still hanging around in that life? The style and tone of your comments are already step two, in my opinion 😂

kirecbaglamis

So is the situation of following an ex something that they initiated and continued, or is there an agreement like "let's stay friends" from a while back? You say that just because someone is an ex doesn't mean they should be followed, but some people might think these kinds of connections are normal. Your partner's general attitude on social media is also important; are they like this with everyone?

cayibardakta

It's important to understand whether commenting on an ex is a habit or a choice that carries special meaning. What are the regular behaviors of the partner in their general life — do they only behave this way on social media, or are they someone who can't cut ties with the past in their daily life as well? Because this could also be a matter of character rather than just a temporary situation.

tamustune

Maybe the reason for commenting isn't as special to an ex as you think. Is this someone who generally uses social media this way? Do they comment on the posts of other acquaintances with a similar frequency and style, or is it only this situation that's specific to an ex? It’s important to notice this distinction.

canimsikildi

So how does the ex respond to these comments? Do they like them, reply, or completely ignore them? Is there some interaction or is it a one-sided situation? That's also important 🫠

supurgekablosu

And here's another thing: does your ex have a relationship? I mean, is it one-sided, or is your ex also responding and interacting with that person? If there is something mutual, I don't think it can just be brushed off as a habit or "general social media use."

marketposeti

What comes to my mind directly is: are these comments made after sharing something with you, or do they just flow on their own? I mean, while you are discussing and focusing on a topic, is it in the mindset of "hold on, let me check something from the past," or is it independent of the current mood? Because the timing of these things also gives clues.

lafhazirladim

Not everyone uses the "let's stay friends" excuse sincerely. But what if these comments are meant to nudge the ex or their circle, saying "I'm still here"? The guy clearly hasn't severed ties with the ex; do you want to burn those bridges? You need to decide.

canimsikildi

Your ex is aware of this situation, but could your partner be continuing this "follow-comment" business without saying anything to you? I mean, if they're not trying to hide it, predicting what your reaction would be, that's even weirder, I think. Ask them directly and get clarity; it feels like there's some weird comfort in the air.

sungerliyorum

Have you looked at the tone of the comments? I mean, is it a joke, a sincere compliment, or just some casual remark? Because there is a clear difference between a straightforward "good luck with your work" and "you are very beautiful." The emotional subtext of the matter may be hidden here.

supurgekablosu

But what if they still have communication on another platform with the ex? I mean, that's the part you see in comments on social media, but what if the actual conversations are happening somewhere else? Have you ever considered this possibility? 😂

kirecbaglamis

"You said jokes or plain comments, right? These go so far, but what about when your partner is next to you? Do they make these comments when you're alone or when you're together? Because it's important to understand whether it's coming from their nature or their courage. If they can comfortably continue like that even in your presence, it seems like a pretty overconfident situation."

pazarfilesi

Another thing is, when your ex is posting these things on their account, when does your partner notice? Do they have notifications on, or are they frequently checking the ex's profile? Because one is a coincidence, while the other still seems like a special interest.

silsuple

So does your girlfriend show the same energy towards your posts? I mean, while she takes time for all those exes, how much does she value your social media presence? If she doesn't establish that dynamism with you, it seems like there's a weight difference here.

icimdengecmis

When commenting on your ex's posts, do others respond in the same way, or is there more of a social interaction happening, or is it something more direct? Because if the response is exclusively directed at them, it indicates a different kind of connection. It's important to understand whether it's an environmental influence or a focused action.

minibussonu

So how is your ex responding to these comments, have you paid attention? I mean, just because one side is writing doesn't mean the issue is escalating, but if the other side is also reciprocating that warmth, it seems more like a two-sided communication. If, on the other hand, the ex is cold, perhaps your partner is still trying to stay relevant.

tozbezi

Have you considered whether your ex has a relationship? Because if there's someone on their side and this communication is still continuing, it seems there might be an issue with your partner's understanding of boundaries. If they don't stop themselves, they'll start to disregard their own boundaries as well.

eskiuyelik

Could your ex have shared their account directly with you? So, are these comments a completely conscious display of transparency or are they hiding it so you would notice? If that's the case, it could also be a message saying, "I'm not doing anything secret," but still, you can't figure it out without asking about their intentions clearly.

tenceredibi

Have you thought about whether your ex is pleased with these comments? Sometimes the other person might be bothered but plays it cool, while other times they might actually still like it. In this case, the issue shifts more from your partner's actions to the dynamic between the two of you. If you have mutual friends, pay attention to how open they are with them.

icimdengecmis

Has your partner ever had an open conversation with you about these comments? I mean, how does he/she define the impact of this behavior on your relationship in his/her mind? Because something he/she says "usually isn't a big deal" could actually be a situation that's gnawing at the relationship for you. You need to clarify if you're on the same page first.

yorgunpersembe

But how do you notice these comments? Did they show it to you directly, or did you come across it yourself? Because if they're not hiding it to attract attention, that's one thing, but if they're doing it without notice, that's another 😐

minibussonu

So what kind of comments are these more like? I mean, think about it: writing "you look great" to someone is different from writing something nostalgic like "ah, those days." How much emotional depth do you think these writings have? I think that’s the way to go.

lafhazirladim

So does the ex respond to these comments with tags, or do they just hit "like"? Because if they respond with a tag, it kind of seems like a "look, we are still here" message. If it's just a like, that's a bit more distant, but I still wonder what they need.

askilikta

If the ex is remaining silent about these comments, it’s actually something to pay attention to. Because not reacting at all can sometimes mean "I don’t care," and sometimes it’s a stance of "I’m just enjoying myself, everything’s fine." But without fully understanding where they stand, it can be difficult to navigate the dynamics of the relationship.

tersminder

the issue here is not so much the dynamic with the ex, but why the current partner continues this habit. "Commenting on the ex" is an action, but what is the motivation behind that action? Is it to seek attention, to stay relevant, or is it just a reflex? It's pointless to rack your brain on this point without asking.

miniksercefan

It reminded me a bit of Ajda's "Did you miss me?" calling out from every corner. You might be dealing with whether your partner still exists in the eyes of their ex. But the topic shifts from the "why" to the question of "why am I allowing this"; I think the main issue is your boundary.

sungerliyorum

I was honestly curious about what your ex might think after reading these comments about your current partner. Do you think that person's reaction encourages these comments, or do they completely ignore them? Because it would be a strange situation to keep repeating an effort that doesn't get a response.

tozbezi

Has he behaved like this in previous relationships before this ex? In other words, does he always maintain connections with old flames like this, or is it something specific to this person? If it's a general trait, it means he's struggling to cut ties with the past. But if it's only directed at this ex, it seems like there's another reckoning going on.

yorgunpersembe

So, do you think your partner ever considers you when making these comments? I mean, is there a thought like, "I have a relationship, someone seeing this might feel uncomfortable," or are they just doing whatever they want? Because it's important to distinguish whether the actions done without considering someone else are a "habit" or "carelessness."

fazlaalindim

Why does following your ex's posts take up so much time? I mean, why would someone choose to consistently comment on someone from the past, even if they have nothing else going on? It feels like it can't just be a habit 🙄

tamustune

Stop commenting on your ex's posts, why are you still seeing them? I mean, are you going to their profile, or are they still showing up in the algorithm? There's an "access" dimension to this; maybe looking at it from that angle brings something else to light.

pazarertesi

We also need to think about this: Are these comments all positive, or is there also a hint of something more subtle in between? Because it's not just about being "seen"; sometimes "making one's presence felt" is also a way of dealing with past grievances. What do you think the tone of this is?

morlegen3

I think it’s important to pay attention to the timing of these comments as well. For instance, does it coincide with a specific event or a period in your relationship? Because sometimes, these things can directly trigger trauma or act as a "look, I’m still here" gesture. If you catch that frequency, a clearer picture may emerge.

ortayakarisik3

Forget everything else, but why does the ex still keep all these comments visible? I mean, isn't there a "shutting down" reflex? It seems like there is a desire to leave some "room to maneuver" on that side too. It looks like there's an open door situation not just with your partner but with that person as well 🙂

eskiuyelik

I think the critical question here is: is your partner expecting their ex's reaction while making these comments, or is it actually a kind of self-emptying? Because if there’s no response or interest coming from the other side, this could be more of a one-sided confusion. Giving so much energy to someone else while in a relationship is already a problem in itself.

camasiraskisi

What is your partner's overall relationship with their social media usage while making these comments? Are they showing this kind of "move" only to their ex, or are they very active toward everyone? If there is a general activity, it might be more of a habit of wanting to be a "center of attention" rather than something specific to the past. But if it's exclusive to the ex, then the target is specific.

pazarfilesi

So how is the ex responding to these comments, is there any feedback? In other words, is it a "monologue" or is there a two-way communication happening? Because if there is a response from their side, it suggests not just the actions of the ex, but also reflects the current state of another relationship.

kapisonra

One more thing: Is your partner talking about these comments or is it completely a hidden situation? Because sometimes people try to convey the message "there's nothing going on" by doing such things openly. If they never mention it and you only catch them by accident, then it could be something more complicated.

tersminder

Let me ask you something: how do you see your partner when compared to a regular person in these comments? Because sometimes people can act more "comfortable" with their ex-relationships than what seems normal, have you noticed a deviation from the norm? Or are your boundaries narrower, like your expectations are different? The discussion is circling back a bit from here.

biaraokurum

I was wondering about this: do the comments come from a specific historical context? For example, is there a joke that refers to something said years ago or an old memory? Or are they writing based entirely on something current? Because the context could also be a longing for the past, or it could be an opportunity-seeking in relation to today.

cicekliperde

Isn't it a bit excessive to look at and comment on your ex's posts anyway? Let's say there's a connection to the past, but why still spend this much time and energy? How does he feel the need for that while being with you? It's confusing. Have you asked him about it directly?

berjerkoltuk

Are you going to say the content of these comments is clear? I mean, is it something like "you look really cool," or is it a more neutral/humorous tone? Because it's hard to think about the content independently of the context; if it's straight-up flattery, things take a different turn.

lafhazirladim

When making comments, does he act comfortably with others in the same way, or is there a particular "intimacy" reserved just for the ex? Because this kind of behavior is usually either a habit or a sign of attention directed at a "specific person." In the second case, the topic is already you, so why would you tolerate that?

silsuple

Are the comments constant? I mean, does your ex's posts always get comments like "is your girlfriend ending?" Because an occasional comment might be a habit or just attention drawn by coincidence, but continuity could indicate a more conscious connection.

icimdengecmis

And then there's this: how does the ex accept those comments? For example, do they just like them and move on, respond, or completely ignore them? Because if there's really something disturbing going on, the other person's reaction can help understand the current partner's intentions more clearly.

minibussonu

By the way, does he still follow his ex's account? Because it seems like there's a tendency to create a freshness about her regardless of the comments. If he's not following her but the comments keep coming up, that's a stranger energy.

eskiuyelik

Why are you beating around the bush with comments? Just ask your girlfriend directly, "Why do you still feel the need for this?" Instead of trying to guess, bringing this issue up directly will give you a clearer answer. Does she come back at you or is she avoiding it? You'll understand.

silsuple

Besides whether or not the ex responds to comments, this is also important: is the person making those posts creating a shared "intimacy space" with your partner, or is it just a normal social media routine? Because these things paint a two-sided picture of the level of connection you still have with the ex. Maybe the issue isn’t with the partner, but rather how that connection is being maintained.

pencereonu

So, comments and stuff are one thing, but does your partner see this situation as normal? Do they say "it's nothing" to you, or do they become defensive? Sometimes, the real clarity is in the reactions 🥲

minibussonu

Do you have any idea about your ex's identity or status? For example, is that person still single, or do they have a partner? Because this also changes the dynamics of the game. If they're single, the partner's comments might come off as a bit of a "keeping their ground" effort. But if they're in a relationship, things get completely different; it becomes utterly meaningless.

tenceredibi

It's actually strange for an ex to openly accept comments or not react at all. If the communication is this relaxed, could it be that things between them aren't completely over? Instead of the situation being like "a shared past but not anymore," could it be something more like a semi-open relationship status?

camasiraskisi

The way your ex behaves is important, but so is how your partner acts towards you after these posts. For example, do they ever mention it to you, like saying "I shared something today, I commented on it"? Or is it all completely secret? Because just like comments, how they handle those comments also reflects the openness in the relationship.

tersminder

When commenting about an ex, is your partner thinking of you? In other words, is it crossing their mind that they might be uncomfortable with this situation? I think it's important to question this.

balkonperdesi

Perhaps the key point here is in what context your partner sees their ex. Do they still consider them a figure from a "previous relationship" in their life, or do they see them just as a completely normal acquaintance? Because this perception determines whether your discomfort can find a "justifiable" place in their eyes. Has there ever been a conversation between you two about this?

cayibardakta

Could it be that they think making a comment is something significant? Sometimes a person acts like they’re looking through an old photo album, without attaching emotional meaning. But the main question here is: why is there a need for an explanation when you notice it? Are they unaware that things which won’t be hidden from you could cause problems? This is another form of blindness.

eskiuyelik

Maybe the issue isn't about your partner's ex, but rather how valuable your feelings are to them. In other words, if you're maintaining a relationship, understanding their discomfort and acting accordingly is their responsibility, even if it's someone who comments like they're looking through an old photo album. Have you ever said, "This situation bothers me"? Did you give a clear reaction? Sometimes, people don’t understand without direct communication.

pazarfilesi

Does your partner feel some sort of "right" to comment on this based on their past with their ex? Some people can perceive their former relationships as a kind of "my right" without fully closing that chapter. This has to do with the perception of boundaries in the relationship. Have you ever talked about where those boundaries are?

tenceredibi

I think there might be a bit of a "we can still be friends" story behind him commenting on his ex. Some people believe this and think he's doing something innocent. But the real issue is what this story means for you. Are you acting like it's not a big deal, or did you express your discomfort directly and nothing has changed?

biaraokurum

Why is there this fine line between commenting on an ex's photos and staying friends? If you are friends, you still wouldn’t comment on their photos from when you were together; there’s a normal boundary to it. If someone can handle that comfortably, the issue lies elsewhere.

tersminder

Well, have you ever thought about how your ex is reacting to these comments? I mean, it's not just your partner; is the other party also active in this interaction? Maybe that old connection hasn’t completely severed, and there’s a bond you’re unaware of.

eldeyikama

I think the main issue is not so much your ex's reactions, but where your partner positions themselves while making these comments. Are they still allocating some special place for this person in their life in some way, or do they just see it as a "social media reaction"? Or are they trying to prove something to you with these comments? Did their attitude change after expressing their discomfort? That's also important.

fazlaalindim

And there's also this: what are the comments? Are they just straightforward things like "nice photo," or do they have details that could create a more special connection? Sometimes even word choice reveals intent. How would you feel if you saw the whole text from start to finish, think about it.

utuprizi

Let me rephrase that without the "ex" part: is this person generally the type who feels the need to comment? I mean, whether it's an ex or a new acquaintance, are they constantly active on social media? Or is this situation specific to that individual? If it's the latter, then we have a big issue.

komsuyagittim

He might still have some feelings left because he's commenting on his ex. Forget everything else, why is he still dealing with old notebooks? If it's over, it should be over. Even if he says it's "just friendly" now, why go to such lengths? Take a step back and look at it, ask yourself, "why is he making such easy explanations?"

silsuple

Perhaps there is an issue of "relationship performance" at play. Leaving a comment for an ex on social media could be a way of proving oneself to others or a means of "claiming" the past story to others. You might want to consider why he feels the need to do this in his relationship with you. It's important to think about what he believes he's making visible with such an overt action.

ortayakarisik3

Perhaps the issue isn't so much about social media habits, but rather your different "perceptions of the past." If you see past relationships as closed, untouchable areas, then maybe they carry all of them as part of their life. The main conflict here is how the relationship will deal with this kind of past. Has this ever been discussed?

marketposeti

How openly was the topic of the ex discussed with you? For example, did you ever clarify what his past relationship means to him now? Because it feels like there's not just "an opinion" but a confusion of meanings. Without this clarity, interpreting social media actions always remains ambiguous.

lafhazirladim

I want to ask something: are you seeing these comments while you’re with him, or are you following secretly or something? Because if he’s so relaxed about it, he either doesn’t care about you at all or doesn’t see it as a problem. Both are concerning, but the first option is worse.

canimsikildi

It's also important how they perceive you while making these comments. Do they have the comfort of thinking "I can see this and it won't be a problem," or are they in the mindset of "they probably won't notice anyway"? If they continue knowing that it would bother you, then it seems like they don't respect boundaries 😬

minibussonu

Have you looked at which posts the comments are made on? Because sometimes people skip over even ordinary moments like an ex's "I'm enjoying my coffee in peace," and sometimes they particularly focus on things that carry a more meaningful or "related to us" implication. The latter seems much more conscious to me. Also, when you ask, does he deny it or brush it off? Depending on that, this topic can lead to completely different places.

kapisonra

The issue could be whether those comments aim to directly connect with the ex, or if they convey a message like "I'm here, I'm free." In other words, is this behavior a search for validation, a habit, or a way to test you? Also, how does their attitude change when your discomfort comes up? Their true intentions become clearer at that moment.

yorgunpersembe

It needs to be clarified: does this ex still somehow exist in your life? A mutual circle, a mandatory connection, anything? Otherwise, the need to stay in touch with someone from whom you have completely severed ties is not normal. It is disrespectful both to the relationship and to you. Avoiding direct confrontation won't lead to anything positive here.

camasirsuyu

So how does this ex respond to the comments made? I mean, do they reply, engage, or simply ignore them? Because the issue isn't just about the actions of the ex; how it reflects on the other person is also important. If there's a mutual dialogue, the situation takes on a different dimension.

silsuple

what's mainly overlooked here is how the division of labor and responsibilities in your relationship is affected by the presence of the ex. For instance, is there a situation where the guy ignores your emotional effort under the pretext of "my freedom on social media"? Or is the relationship such that he’s always at the center while you are constantly trying to maintain balance? These comments, if such an imbalance exists, only reflect the surface.

kirecbaglamis

Do you know how long that relationship with your ex lasted? I mean, the impact of a relationship is somewhat related to its duration. If they're still commenting on something that happened even for just 2 months, they might be too stuck in the past. If they just got out of a long relationship, it means the connection hasn't really been severed. Which one is it?

balkonperdesi

Do you know how they broke up with their ex? Was it an unpleasant ending, or was it a very mature goodbye? Because the way it ended can give clues about why people still act like they’re touching each other afterwards. If they ended things sweetly, they might be crossing boundaries under the guise of "let's stay friends."

miniksercefan

So, have you ever read the style of these comments carefully? I mean, is it completely ordinary and general language, or is there a unique joke, an "inside" message about past relationships? Because sometimes intention flows from word choice 😂

fazlaalindim

I'm thinking this: Is his ex commenting on his posts? Because if this is mutual, your partner can only defend by saying, "I'm just responding courteously." But if it’s one-sided and still persists insistently, it seems like a sign that he hasn’t cut off ties. It leaves a feeling of having a connection without a relationship.

yorgunpersembe

Now we're considering your partner commenting on their ex, but one thing is being overlooked: Have you ever directly asked your partner about this situation? I mean, "why are you doing this, what’s your intention?" Because guessing and making external observations won’t get you anywhere. That's why it doesn't make much sense to dwell on this without first clearly understanding what's going on in their mind.

kirlisepetim

What kind of things does your ex share? Are they everyday things or more romantic ones that might be connected to your past? Like a special date, a memory, a song share, something like that. Because the meaning of the comments your ex makes is somewhat determined by this context. Maybe they're not just written in the air.

utuprizi

There doesn't necessarily have to be a connection between an ex and the new relationship; sometimes people do things just to show themselves. In other words, those comments may actually be sending you a message, not to the ex: "Look, I'm still comfortable." From this perspective, it could also be an effort to make you question yourself.

lafhazirladim

So how does the ex respond to the comments? Does she like them, does she reply? Or is it completely one-sided? Because we need to look at whether there is a connection from that side too, not just from your partner's perspective. Is it a monologue, or is it a dialogue?

supurgekablosu

There's also this: is your partner making these comments in a way that everyone can see, instead of writing them privately? I mean, the intention could be sincere or it could be showy. But if they're doing it so that everyone can see, they might want to send a different message. To whom, and why? Think about it.

marketposeti

Does your partner make these comments not just to their ex but also to other friends? So is this a general social media habit of theirs, or is it something specifically aimed at their ex? Because the commonness of the behavior might help you see the underlying intent more clearly.

kapisonra

Let me ask you one more thing, does your ex have someone in their life right now? If they are still communicating while being with someone else, your partner's motivation could become more complicated. Otherwise, it might just be a habit formed out of a sense of emptiness.

camasirsuyu

This could also be the case, your partner might want to show how "good of a person" their ex is. In other words, it could be an image of "look, we broke up but I'm still a decent person, I hold no grudges." If it's a completely outward maneuver, it might not even be about you. Have you considered this possibility?

miniksercefan

Some of you have approached this very analytically, but I'm directly curious about one point: how does the ex see these comments? I mean, maybe your partner is writing out of enthusiasm, but the other side doesn't care at all. In this case, your partner's effort is pretty much in vain. I think we also need to pay attention to the dynamics on "that side."