I started a new job and while talking about my salary my partner said, 'they won't pay that to anyone,' which really crushed my spirits. I still stated the amount I wanted, but I keep thinking about how they don't support me. Do you think I asked for too much, or is my partner in the wrong? Has anyone experienced something like this?
I experienced something similar too. My ex used to say things like "you've gone too far" during salary negotiations. But the employer's reaction was better than I expected; I later realized that my ex was actually limiting me with her own mental boundaries. I think you did well to express your desire.
I experienced the same thing last year, fresh experience. During my first HR interview, my partner dismissed it by saying, "they won't give that money," which upset me quite a bit. But I insisted and spoke up. It turns out that companies generally leave room for negotiation, so I didn't listen to my partner. What’s right here is to express your wants clearly.
Maybe your partner didn't actually want to upset you but rather wanted to protect you? Could they have thought about it in case you asked for a very high amount and got rejected? Have you ever talked about this situation with them?
There is a situation on the HR side: if someone asks for a number, they want to see the logic behind it. For example, did you say it by researching the average salary in the sector, or did you just pick it randomly? Maybe your partner also found that rate high, but instead of supporting you, they misunderstood it. If you did your research, then there’s no problem.
Actually, here’s the thing: after asking for the salary, the employer said it was 'a bit too much,' but we negotiated and I managed to convince them, you know? But my boyfriend still got hung up on that conversation because it made me feel really insecure.
But on the other hand, I ask myself if I might have gone too far? Did you really do any market research beforehand? Or did you just pull the number out of your head? Because no one wants to trust someone who doesn't have support, but maybe they are right.
I think your girlfriend has something else going on here. Maybe she felt unintentionally overshadowed by you, which might have upset her. Or perhaps she generally views that kind of money as too high when it comes to salary matters. But it doesn't feel like a total coincidence to me.
