My partner has been constantly asking me for money lately. I know they just got laid off, but I don't have unlimited funds myself. To be honest, I gave once, I gave twice, but by the third time I started to feel bad. I can't help but wonder if I'm being used. Do you think this situation is normal, or should I be a bit more cautious?
I experienced the exact same thing; after my partner became unemployed, he started asking me for loans. At first, I thought I'd help, but the debts never ended. The worst part is he didn't pay me back either. To be honest, these situations lead to a loss of respect over time. I think you should clearly tell him how this situation made you feel.
I think if I were in his shoes, I'd say that it's fine to support him once, but it becoming a constant thing is a problem in my opinion. Is he making a plan to get back on his feet? Because even if he's unemployed, he needs to take responsibility at some point. Otherwise, it feels like this will just keep going on like this.
Your friend is unemployed, maybe they are really going through a tough time? If I were you, I would talk more about their situation first. What are they using the debts for, do they have a plan to pay it back? Thinking directly 'they're using me' might be a bit harsh.
To be frank, I think you should set a limit. Be clear about how much help you can provide, but no more than that. Also, make sure to communicate in writing, recording when the borrowed amount will be repaid. Otherwise, it might end badly.
Thanks friends for the suggestions. I forgot to add that they usually want the money for their expenses, like bills and food and stuff. But as you said, I never directly asked if they have a plan. Maybe we need to talk about this.
From a budget management perspective, these types of recurring debt requests can upset the balance of the relationship. If you receive a promise of repayment, it is important to keep this in writing. I also suggest discussing whether they have thought about cutting their expenses until they find a job.
I have a question: if you were unemployed and asked for support, would they be so willing to lend you money? If you say they wouldn't, then this topic is going in a bit of a different direction. That wouldn't be fair then, because 🤦♀️
