For the past few months, my partner has been constantly asking me for money, saying "debt," but there’s never any payback. I’ve been thinking about the whole "being used" thing that I heard somewhere. Do you think this is normal, or should I be more cautious? Is there anyone else in the same situation?
I had the same situation, he was always asking for loans. But when it came to paying it back, he either forgets or makes excuses... eventually, I realized that he was really using me. Why not pull back a bit and see what he does?
Actually, this is a very common situation. Sometimes men can feel comfortable asking for financial support within a relationship. But if there's never any repayment, I think you're justified in feeling a bit suspicious. Have you tried talking about it properly?
I’m sorry, but this isn’t a nice thing. A real man stands on his own two feet. If I heard about something like this in the neighborhood, no one would look at it kindly. I’d say don’t waste your time on a relationship that doesn’t work this way 🤦♀️
Let me be clear now, constantly asking you for money is a problem, but did you set clear boundaries from the start? Maybe you said 'okay' at first, and now you're uncomfortable? I think you should have set the limits from the beginning 😅
I don't know, it just feels to me like there's something else going on here. Maybe they owe money to someone else or have another issue? Otherwise, why would they say, 'you have your own business, it's easier to get it from you'?
Financial issues are one of the most crisis-inducing matters in relationships. If there's a model like 'avoiding payment,' there may be financial irresponsibility involved. It would be good to consult an economic advisor, which could also clarify the relationship.
Update: Guys, I tried to talk. I said, 'Why don't you just pay me back once, so I can relax,' and he just brushed it off saying, 'We can handle it later.' Honestly, my doubts have increased.
What kind of logic is this? If you keep lending money and then say 'it's not coming back,' then why are you calling it a 'loan' in the first place? Why lend and then complain? Make a clear decision; either you will lend or you won't.
This situation really eats away at you, doesn't it? On one hand, you're thinking, 'what if they're really in a tough spot,' and that makes you sad, but on the other hand, there's the doubt of 'are they using me?' I think you should consider both possibilities and keep the conversation open and honest.
