Hi, right now my girlfriend said she wants to buy a new car as soon as she gets off work. Although I tried to explain that money is tight, she told me, 'Imagine, we can get it.' She is considering borrowing from our family, which stresses me out a lot. Do you think it's normal to set such high goals? I mean, she has these dreams but knows our financial situation, which is puzzling.
I think this whole dream thing is a bit weird. My girlfriend also felt like she was flying high for a while, but in the end, we got into debt and couldn't really move from our spot for 2 years. So, I recommend thinking it over twice; taking out loans can really cause trouble 😬
Do you live on a shared budget or does everyone use their own money? Will this decision be left up to you?
@iki_dakika yes, we share expenses like rent and grocery shopping. But for extra things like this, of course, they want me to contribute too.
To be honest, I was really stuck on your girlfriend's "we can dream it" line. You can't pay off a debt just by dreaming, can you? You have to be a bit realistic 🫠
Taking out a loan is certainly a solution, but it's not sustainable. If your income is stable and sufficient for comfortable repayment, you might consider a low-interest loan. However, before that, both of you need to create a detailed budget plan. Just having a 'dream' is not enough.
You say in the title "we have no money," but borrowing from the family has even been discussed. So how much is this money actually "not there"? I find it strange to directly call something at this level a fantasy; we need to clarify things a bit.
that's not possible. debt is dangerous in this era.
my partner was always selling dreams too. they were going to start a business, buy a car... but when the bills came, I was the one paying. at some point, we need to talk, otherwise it will just fall on me.
I think your partner has started to put too much pressure on you regarding this. You say you're both sharing the expenses, but they also expect a share from extra things. So, will this car be entirely hers? Or will you both use it? Things need to be clarified. It feels a bit off.
If the car is entirely going to be his, then why is it expected for you to be financially involved? If there isn't a shared usage plan, this counts as completely his personal expense, so he should bear that responsibility himself. This issue will grow without direct communication.
If the car is going to be yours but the payment plan includes you as well, it's a bit of a weird situation. If there's no joint ownership, why is there joint debt? If you're going to share its use, then does it look like a reasonable investment? Consider things like how old they are, what they do for a living, why they want the car so badly. Is it a luxury or a necessity? Let's clarify that first.
And if you're going to buy a car, what about insurance, taxes, fuel? Let's say you paid off the debt, but this has ongoing expenses. Has anyone ever thought about that part? I mean, buying isn't the solution; the aftermath can be even more burdensome.
If you don't have money, debts and expenses are another issue, but I didn't find it reasonable to insist this much at this stage just for a "wish." Is it really a need, or is it a matter of prestige? If it's a need, can't it be solved with a second-hand vehicle, for example?
Well, let's say you've talked about debt with the family and you took it... what will happen when the relationship doesn't work out? Will you split the car, the loan? These things usually start with "we" and end up with "you". Make sure to consider the end of your plan too.
But I will ask one thing; did this request come out of nowhere? Or has this car issue been on the table for a long time? If it feels like a last-minute decision, it could be more of a whim than serious planning. I believe such things should be resolved through budgeting and discussions in advance, so it doesn't burden the relationship.
And think about this: if this car adventure is a matter of status for him, it means that even if he finds the money, he won't consider an economical option. What is the car of his dreams? Are you talking about brand, model, and so on? Or does he keep saying just "car"? Because the seriousness of this matter is evident in the details being discussed.
