My boyfriend has been following his exes on social media for a while. At first, I didn’t care much, but now I have questions in my mind. This situation makes me feel compared to someone else. And it constantly reminds me; I don’t understand why he is so stuck in the past. What do you think I should do in this situation? I’m struggling to maintain my own confidence.
I experienced something similar; I found out that my ex was constantly stalking me. I got really uncomfortable, I talked openly about it, they defended themselves for a while, but then they changed. Maybe you should try talking to them.
So, does he act like this is a normal thing, or is it secretive? For example, does he let you know?
@kahvebitmeden is actually doing it secretly. I’ve accidentally come across their stories a few times while watching, that’s how I learned.
@soncaykaldi I don’t think it’s a situation that would be resolved by talking. No one just looks at their exes out of the blue; there must be some kind of void or feeling missing in the current relationship.
If your partner is defending this by saying “the past is important in my life,” I think it’s serious. It means they either haven’t finished something or they’re someone very obsessive. Usually, unfinished business ends up like this.
I wouldn’t forgive.
Psychologically, those who get stuck on people from the past generally try to compensate for their deficiencies from the outside. To understand the situation in depth, you need to ask clearly, because it’s difficult to act on assumptions.
But think about it this way, what if they are just watching but not taking action? Generally, when people stalk the past, they are just curious, they see if there have been any changes and move on. But if they do it frequently and regularly, that’s a different matter; then the intention can be questioned, I think. You said it appears “coincidentally,” this detail is important because maybe they want to be noticed.