The other day, while I was coming home in the evening, a man shouted at me and seemed to approach me. I literally froze; I couldn't scream or do anything else. Since I got home, I've been thinking about what the right reaction is in such a situation. If I shout, will it make things worse, or is it better to stay silent? What do you do in situations like this?
I had a similar experience last summer. As I was getting off the subway, a guy was following me, and then he said something like, 'Look at that cutie.' I shouted right back, 'What are you saying!' There were people around, but no one got involved. The guy backed off in that moment, but my heart felt like it was going to explode. In situations like that, when you shout, you feel like you have a bit of control. Maybe you buy yourself some time to get to safety.
I experienced this while going to work in the morning; it was a deserted street. The guy kept harassing me, saying, "Come here." I literally froze; I was completely motionless. I was still shaking when I got home. After that, I bought myself some pepper spray and I carry it in my bag. I had no idea what to do that day when I felt so defenseless. Maybe you can think about something like this too.
Let me be clear here, sometimes yelling can make things worse. Especially if the person you’re dealing with is already aggressive. Because in the end, it’s a moment of panic, and as you yell, the person may have an outburst of anger. In these kinds of situations, I think it’s more sensible to stay calm and quickly distance yourself.
As you described, in such situations a person can freeze up, which is a completely normal human response. In psychology, we call this the 'freeze response', meaning it's like a third option to the fight-or-flight response. However, since this can leave you vulnerable, yelling or trying to grab attention is generally advised. Still, if you're feeling constantly anxious, a self-defense class or individual therapy might be helpful.
Let me update, thank you very much for the answers. Honestly, my fear is this: when someone shouts, does the control completely remain with the person or do those around protect? Because that evening it was really very deserted. Do you think there is a difference between shouting in a crowded place and in such locations?
I'm sorry, but girls should be a bit more careful too. Is it really a good idea to go out alone at night? The neighborhood's old order is no longer there anyway. Wouldn't it be better if you went home a bit earlier or talked to your family to have them pick you up by car? I'm saying this with good intentions.
I completely understand your moment of being frozen now, but this is the result of the power imbalance in our societal structure. When women live as if they are constantly under threat, even your instinct to protect yourself is suppressed. The man's catcalling and then approaching you is clearly aggressive behavior. The real issue lies in the minds that see these actions as normal.
