A friend of mine recently met someone on Instagram and they started flirting. They keep messaging each other on DM but they havenât met face to face yet. I think itâs strange because a relationship should be in person, but she seems really happy. Do you think this kind of communication counts as a real relationship?
I donât think itâs that strange; I also got to know someone through DMs and we ended up meeting. It lasted 3 months, it didnât end badly, but getting attached without meeting in person is risky. Still, if your friend is happy, they should go for it.
I can say my cousin got married on Instagram. It starts with texting from a distance, but if it doesnât move to face-to-face at some point, it might end up breaking apart. Tell your friend to be careful, but I think these are normal things.
Now letâs look at it from the other side: do you think there has to be something that contradicts your personal expectations in flirting? You say that a relationship canât happen without being face to face, but youâre saying your friend looks happy right now. So, it can happen? Just because you limit yourself, does that mean others are limited too?
Research on relationships that start on social media actually says some complicated things. People experience something called âonline disinhibition,â meaning they are more open and bold online. However, if that connection isnât established face-to-face, the relationship generally remains superficial. If a friend wants to take it a bit further, I would say they should arrange a real meeting in a short time.
My friend has been messaging from DM for three weeks. The guy seems to be talking quite nicely from what Iâve seen, but heâs currently out of town for some reason, and even though he said âletâs meet,â Iâm still waiting. Iâm not sure if heâs serious about it. Do you think he is just messing around? 
So who initiated the first message? For instance, did the guy send something, or was it your friend? I think this could be a bit important in understanding the intention.
Tell your friend, if this âIâm out of town right nowâ thing is going to last a long time, just ask directly: âWhen are you available to meet?â It will clear things up. If heâs just stalling, youâll understand right away and wonât waste any time.
Did Adam say something like âHonestly, I want to meet you but Iâm very busyâ? Because thatâs one of those classic excuses. If he doesnât give a clear time, Iâd say not to hold on to hope.