My girlfriend and I were discussing our summer vacation, where to go, which hotel to stay in. She kept saying āitās taken care of,ā and I hadnāt asked for details. Then yesterday, while talking on the phone with her mother, I heard her mention the vacation details, and it turns out her mother is coming with us! We clearly didnāt make this decision together; it just happened. If I make an issue out of it now, would that be rude of me? But honestly, Iām feeling uneasy about it; how am I supposed to enjoy myself?
7 Answers
7What is this, your girlfriend is planning a vacation or her mother? Itās not clear. Itās ridiculous, to be honest. If her mother is coming, it wonāt be a coupleās vacation, itāll be a family trip.
I experienced the same thing; when we were going on our honeymoon, my mother-in-law said, āVacation is a nice idea, let me come to the same hotel too.ā Itās the first step of the threshold, stop it 
Did you never ask about these details until you realized this? Didnāt the phrase āitās being sorted outā come up?
@bugun_degil I actually noticed it, but I didnāt know she had planned it so clearly with her mother; it always seemed like she was just thinking out loud.
@aklimkaldi is thinking out loud the same as closing a deal down to hotel details? Itās like they completely ignored you; I think you should talk it out from the beginning 
this situation is a bit of a boundary issue. your partner says, āweāll have fun with my mom,ā but if you had known that at first, maybe you wouldnāt have agreed to the plan. I think you should make her feel this; after all, it wasnāt a joint decision.
@benbisorayim but from another perspective, maybe they are always used to relationships like this, including things their mother is involved in? Thatās why they might not have felt it was abnormal at first.