I recently got an overseas job opportunity that I’ve been wanting for a while, but my girlfriend said, ‘Don’t aim so high, find a job here and live like everyone else.’ Honestly, I feel both deflated and that she doesn’t take my career goals seriously. Do you think this decision will affect our relationship, or am I overthinking it?
I think you should just be clear with your partner, saying, ‘I want to go, this is my goal.’ Discuss whether a long-distance relationship is possible or not from the start. You will wear yourselves out more with such uncertainty.
I had caught such an opportunity back in the day too. My ex-boyfriend was literally in the “you are breaking up your home” mode. I went, yes it was really hard at first but looking back now, I say I’m glad I went. Career is always with you but sometimes people just don’t work out.
But is it right to leave the man you love and go to another country now? You have a good life set up here, and you seem to be looking at things too intensely. I think love and loyalty are more important.
It’s easy to blame your partner here, but how far do you support the person you’re with? Maybe the guy feels left behind. If you’re thinking about a future together, first learn to make joint plans.
If I were in that situation, I’d go straight away. When it comes to a boyfriend, how much support should he really provide? Think about your own future a bit; look at how people are crying about not finding jobs even after graduating.
Now, when it comes to living abroad, let me tell you about this green card thing: A friend of mine married an American on paper, got some money, and built a career. Is this how things work in this business?
Actually, what he said about ‘flying’ may not have been ill-intentioned. Men sometimes speak harshly when they say they’re being realistic. He probably doesn’t want you to be upset, but it’s clear he expressed himself poorly. Maybe you could talk at a calmer time?
I noticed that I felt more that you didn’t take me seriously. Because when we argued, you said something like, ‘your dreams are full of fairy tales.’ Honestly, just because of this, leaving started to seem more appealing.