I’ve been feeling very anxious lately; my need to control everything in my life is exhausting me. I’m thinking of going to therapy, but I’m afraid my family might react negatively if they find out. Do you think their reaction is important, or should I just focus on myself here? Is there anyone else who thinks like me?
I had made the decision to see a therapist for a while too, but my mom immediately said, ‘What do you need that for? Don’t waste your money.’ Still, I went, and it helped me a lot. I think you should focus more on what you need than on your family’s reaction.
This obsession with checking that you mentioned is actually quite common; it might be called ‘obsessive tendency.’ Of course, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the case, but I would suggest seeing a professional. It really seems like it’s wearing you out.
This family pressure thing is really troublesome. My dad had said quite a bit when he found out I was in therapy. He even said, ‘Are you crazy?’ or something like that. But later, once he calmed down and saw that I was more relaxed, he became more understanding.
Well, why do you feel the need to explain to your family? You never tell them; you just go to therapy. Trying to control things this much might actually make your family feel burdened.
I’m really bothered by some of the things you’ve written. I genuinely feel guilty for doing something for my own good. This constant need to check things seems to come from my childhood, as my mom always used to say, ‘You have to do everything perfectly.’ Is it something that can be discussed in therapy?
How long have you been feeling this sense of checking in? Was there an event that triggered it recently, or have you always been like this? Because sometimes these kinds of things start just because of one event 
I also used to go with a compulsion to check things. For example, I would constantly check the lights every time I left, I would lock the door and then turn back to look again. These things are talked about a lot in therapy; if you go just once and get started, you’ll understand the difference.
You may underestimate your family’s reaction, but in the end, they are the people who will always be around you. Let’s say you went, and it felt good for you; what will happen if they react when they find out? Don’t you need to convince them somehow first?
Ailen should realize that you are an adult now. Saying things like ‘Are you crazy?’ is both insulting and unnecessary. Do what you need to do for yourself, without worrying about anyone else’s perception.