My aunt commented on my fiancé's profession

I think the real issue here is your aunt overstepping by criticizing your fiancé's profession. Don't allow her to question your life choices. No matter how low the salary of a civil servant may be, it's regular and reliable. The real matter is the support you and your fiancé provide to each other. It doesn't matter what your aunt thinks; you need to learn to set your boundaries.

But I mean, everyone says "make your stance clear" but when it comes to family, it's not that simple. After all, how old is your aunt, can you really tell her "know your place"? Instead of getting hung up on the salary issue, I think you should really ask yourself this: Can you truly live comfortably on this salary, or have your doubts started because of that?

@skeptikcim honestly, my doubts started after what your aunt said. I wasn't thinking about these things that much. But now there's been a questioning, you know.

I'm sorry, but I think there's another issue here. Could it be that your aunt has problems in her own marriage? Maybe she's reacting from a place of thinking, "I was unhappy, don't be unhappy too." Otherwise, why would she take your salary situation so personally? I think you should talk to her and try to understand why she really said that.

Here we see a classic family dynamic. Especially among close relatives, there can be a tendency for individuals to take on the role of giving 'advice' to younger family members based on their own life experiences. However, this does not entitle them to interfere in you and your spouse's personal decisions. You can confidently close the topic by saying, 'Thank you, we are happy this way.'

@psikolojik_dokunus you're saying it beautifully, but not everyone has a character that fits 'thank you and close it.' For example, I would respond in the same situation. How long can you keep waiting? 🤭

I heard that civil servant salaries won't increase much in the future. This could be a problem when it comes to having kids in marriage. My sister's husband is also a civil servant, and he always says, 'I wish I had chosen another job.' But I don't really know if that's true.

@yeniogrendim this information is incorrect. In civil service, salary increases occur due to things like step progression and inflation adjustments. There isn't a fixed salary for a lifetime; it somewhat depends on how much one works.

In the end, it's your life, not your aunt's, so don't pay too much attention to what others say. 😳