It's frustrating that your fiancé is messaging their ex-flame. If this situation bothers you, you should talk to them about it openly. They wouldn't want you to feel uneasy before the wedding.
my ex-fiancé was also someone stuck in the past, always clinging to old gossip. the wedding was finally canceled. what he calls dealing with the past is sometimes an excuse, I think you should be careful.
How long have they been talking? Did it start by chance or is there continuity?
@iki_dakika seems to be talking occasionally, but I caught him by chance last week.
@makarnaoncesi is it really that fast to cancel? There's no rule that says reconciling with the past has to be a bad thing 😳
Dealing with the past usually happens with unresolved feelings or issues left unaddressed. Pre-wedding traumas can be triggered. However, if there's a hidden ‘emotional’ undertone in the messages from time to time, I would say that's a concern. You should clearly ask this: 'Will these conversations continue after we get married?'
There's a lot of missing details in this title. It feels like you're joking around, but you couldn't ask your intention directly. Either ask clearly or just forget about it. You're stuck in between.
I wouldn't accept this. The moment he understood, he would delete everything 😬
So is there something related to you in this "coming to terms with the past" part? I mean, is the issue completely about his own past, or is there also something reflected in your relationship? If it's entirely about himself, why can't it be resolved and the messaging process continues to prolong? I think it's risky to go to the wedding without addressing these issues.
When I hear this argument of "reckoning with the past," the first thing that comes to mind is: if there's an unresolved issue, why isn't your fiancé openly discussing and resolving it with you, instead of trying to "work it out" by texting with the ex? If he is sincere, he would lay everything out; it wouldn't leave a situation that feels like he's scheming behind your back.
The idea of "closing" by messaging an old fling is just strange in itself. Even if explained, I don't think there's a convincing reason for it. I mean, why establish a new connection to bring something to a close?
