Yesterday, I got on a minibus and was standing. An elderly man told me to sit beside him, I thanked him but declined. Then he said something like, 'You young people are used to standing straight, you wouldn't feel comfortable if you sat down anyway.' Everyone looked at me. Should I have reacted, laughed it off, or considered it a natural comment on aging? How do you think one should behave in such situations?
I think there's something else going on here. Why would the guy make such a statement out of nowhere? Maybe he was trying to show his interest while trying to sit you down. Saying something like, 'You young people like to stand around,' felt weird to me. Who knows what he was thinking at that moment. But, of course, it’s hard to move on without saying something.
Things like this always affect me. Even just standing can annoy some people, it really makes me sad. One time someone said, 'What kind of outfit is that?' on the minibus, and it stayed on my mind for two days. I mean, when I can't respond right away, that feeling just doesn't go away for me.
Girl, if she were my daughter, I would definitely tell her to warn them. She may be older, but they need to learn where the boundaries are. What does standing up mean, nobody can say you enjoy being put on the spot. I swear if it happens like this again, just nicely say 'Standing up isn't my problem,' and raise your voice a little.
How long did this incident last? I mean, how many people were there in the minibus? If you couldn't explain in such detail, I felt like the situation dragged on a bit. Maybe the guy was just talking for the sake of talking, and everyone exaggerated it. Is that right? 🙄
@skeptik_hesapci Actually, it was very short, but when everyone looked at me all at once, I felt like it was a big deal. The guy seemed polite at first, but then when he brought up the issue of "standing out," I was a bit taken aback. Once things calmed down, I stayed quiet 😅
So you've let the situation slide a bit too, if anyone said something like that I wouldn't stay silent. Especially if everyone is looking at you, I would just say 'I'm good like this' and move on. When you stay silent, people keep talking more. If you can't stand up for yourself, don't expect someone else to do it for you.
It's not unusual for elderly individuals to want to draw attention with such comments in areas like public transportation. What's truly important here is that you feel safe. If you feel uncomfortable, you should politely express it or choose to ignore it — that's entirely up to you. In such moments, focus on your inner peace rather than external pressure.
@uzman_sagduyu But you shouldn't respond directly to older people in matters like these. Haven't you heard, it would be a sin to look at the hands of the elders. Instead of arguing, it's better to just say 'May Allah be pleased with you' and move on. That's what I always do too.
@mahrem_saf Well okay, it's nice to learn something from the past, but a woman isn’t some being that will just bow to everything by saying 'May God be pleased with you.' This language constantly makes women passive. Someone who says 'You young people...' is just insecure, age doesn't matter.
