Recently, my manager has started making constant insinuating jokes. At first, I didn’t pay much attention, but it’s starting to bother me since it continues even in private conversations. Should I tell HR, or should I talk to him directly? What’s worse is that I’m afraid of being fired.
5 Answers
5I’ve had a similar situation. It started with jokes and turned into jabs; I tried to address it directly and faced the response of ‘I’m just joking, why are you making a big deal out of it?’ In the end, I went to HR, and the guy got a warning. So solving it on your own can be difficult.
You might feel so bad that… Those insinuating jokes can really annoy you in the workplace, and they can kill your motivation. I think you should just talk it out directly, because if you go to HR, things might escalate, and they could blame you. But stay calm while talking, don’t turn it into an argument.
I don’t want to say much, but it feels like you always run to HR in every situation. One should first explain their issues to the other person. If you’ve done that and things are still the same, then that’s different. But immediately going to complain doesn’t seem right to me, honestly 
Humorous yet suggestive remarks can affect a person’s frame of reference, even falling within the scope of ‘psychological harassment’ in a workplace. However, it might be wise to first consider gathering evidence instead of going directly to HR in such situations. If the discomfort persists, filing a complaint in a professional written manner is helpful, rather than one driven by emotions.
Thank you for the comments. I thought about talking among ourselves, but as you said, I’m hesitant because what if he denies it or it turns into an argument at that moment. Before going to HR, I plan to note down these jokes with one or two friends as witnesses.