I’ve been experiencing a very uncomfortable situation at a place where I’ve been working for about a year. My boss constantly makes snide remarks and says suggestive things. Recently, for example, they said, ‘You dress too nicely; you might distract others.’ I’m thinking of going to HR, but I’m afraid of being fired. What do you think I should do? Has anyone been in a similar situation before?
I experienced the same situation. My former manager was mocking me with insinuating words. I last went to HR, but to be honest, the support I expected from there didn’t come through. That’s why you need to collect solid evidence, document the situation with emails or communications.
It happened to me too. One day, someone said something ridiculous like “you talk too much, don’t let your work fall apart.” I ignored it for a while, but it got worse. It’s best to be clear and straightforward about your discomfort. When you act evasively, the other side gets bolder 
But the manager also said it a bit normally. Is saying ‘You dress nicely’ necessarily ill-intentioned? Maybe you really do stand out; being a bit more understated in a work environment could be more professional, right?
Such issues are sensitive. It is necessary to establish a balance between privacy and transparency. When going to HR, you must bring evidence; it’s not enough to just complain. To be able to call it mobbing, there is a requirement to prove the continuity of such behaviors and the specific situation that ‘affects the job.’
Let me give you an update, another incident happened today. During the meeting, they threw shade again, saying, ‘let’s not take your opinion, you’re always full of ideas anyway.’ Honestly, I couldn’t hold back and snapped at them, but the atmosphere really got tense. Now I’m wondering if I made it worse 
This is an issue of power imbalance. Let me be clear: your clothing or behavior does not explain anyone’s “concentration” problems. This is absolutely an excuse. It’s a classic method of control that women face in the workplace. Don’t hesitate; stand up for your rights.
Well, it takes a lot of courage, but I think one day if you calmly tell the manager, ‘I’m uncomfortable with these productions,’ the issue will stop. Generally, when you set a boundary, people step back. But such nagging at the workplace is quite exhausting, obviously.