I received a really good job offer from abroad, and honestly, itâs a huge opportunity for my career. But my boyfriend isnât open to it at all and doesnât want me to go. Iâve tried talking to him, but he implies that Iâm being selfish. Do you think I should go or should I consider staying to save my relationship?
9 Answers
9I think a career is more important. Youâre still at the beginning of your journey, and itâs uncertain if this offer will come around again. Your boyfriend might feel like heâs losing you right now, but I believe he will get used to it in time as long as youâre happy 
Did you talk about this issue seriously, like did you go with a clear solution proposal? For example, how can we maintain our relationship, would it work as a long-distance relationship, and so on?
It seems that in such proposals, men are more likely to be overwhelmed by the fear of being abandoned. Not wanting you to go isnât a lack of love; it might be more about feeling like they are losing control. You need to make him feel that you could be together even while abroad.
I donât know, but could there be a reason why your boyfriend doesnât want you to go this much? Maybe it conflicts with his own plans or he has other concerns. Instead of just calling him selfish, I think you should take a look; there might be something else going on.
Youâve called your boyfriend selfish for no reason, but it seems like you arenât considering his life at all. Youâve gone and talked, but it turned into âIâm going to build my career, support me.â How does he feel? Did you really listen to him?
Actually, this kind of thing is quite common. The idea of a long-distance relationship is not something that both parties can immediately accept. I believe your boyfriend has reacted negatively, but this proposal wonât be in vain due to his priorities; it can be properly discussed.
Let me add this: This offer is actually a 1-year project, and after that, itâs unclear what will happen. I told my boyfriend that I would return at the end of the project, but he said, âa lot can change by then.â It makes me a bit sad, to be honest.
I think you should focus on the plan. Go for a year and suggest that you both establish a clear routine during that time. For example, meet on specific dates, continue messaging each other as much as before, etc. Having a plan can save the day.
Itâs important to stay balanced in such situations. The part where your boyfriend says âa lot will changeâ is actually a long-term signal of insecurity. If this has been present in your relationship before, it might have become more pronounced with this proposal. If necessary, you can take the issue to a professional or consider coupleâs therapy.