I have an amazing opportunity abroad with a good salary for my career, but my girlfriend dismissively said, âAre you going to go there and compete with others?â Iâm both sad and angry; it really brought my mood down to get such a reaction when I expected support. Do you think sheâs reacting this way because she doesnât want to come with me, or does she really see me as inadequate? Should I go or stay?
Honestly, I got really hung up on this dismissive part⌠When you wake up in the morning and look in the mirror, youâre competing with yourself, right? Youâve taken on a big job, an entire country, and with that âcompetitionâ remark, it feels like itâs invalidating all your efforts. If I were in a situation like that, just not getting a bit of support would completely crush my motivation. Donât keep thinking about that comment; it literally drains your energy.
Now, Iâm considering this from another perspective. Perhaps your partner definitely doesnât want you to go, but instead of saying that, they might be turning into a state of contempt or competition within themselves. In other words, itâs not really about your inadequacy; it could be about them feeling a bit lost in life or something like that. What if we take this emotional turmoil into account instead of jumping to conclusions about bad intentions?
I suggest looking at it from an independent perspective now. In terms of career planning, overseas experience can create a significant leap, especially in certain sectors. But since you are in a relationship, shared dreams and boundaries come into play as well. The conflict between the two is not a rare situation. In such cases, a clear conversation should determine what everyone actually wants and how much sacrifice they are willing to make. So I think itâs not a personal issue, but a matter of compatibility.
I told a few people too, clearly against me going. But even if they say âI donât support itâ, I couldnât figure out the reason for this condescending tone. Itâs either âthe company will use you upâ or âthat doesnât suit your jobâ, always bringing me down. Thatâs why I got so hurt. I said I was upset, and then they suddenly changed the topic. I couldnât quite grasp this situation, is everything actually more complicated?
I swear, even my parents said I couldnât go for a masterâs degree in America, which is why I never went. Then one day I said to myself that no oneâs feelings can determine my life. I went, and when I returned, they said, âItâs good that you went.â Maybe your partner has these complicated feelings, but if your decision is clear, theyâll be convinced too. Of course, if they donât want to, thatâs a different matter, but motivation is important.