I’m getting ready for my third date with someone I’ve just met. I really like her, and the other day she mentioned how much she loves flowers in our conversation. I thought about getting her a small flower, but the more I think about it, I’m starting to worry if it would be too early or misinterpreted. Do you think such a gesture would start the relationship off nicely, or would it create some tension? Should I go for it or not?
9 Answers
9I think the idea of flowers is really sweet. It’s nice when someone remembers something the person they like talked about and takes such a step. The third date isn’t too early; after all, it’s not something overly formal.
I experienced a similar situation last year; I had bought her a book she said she loved on our third date. She was very happy, but she said something like, ‘Do you care that much?’ People probably aren’t used to such things. But it can leave a good impression.
But here’s the line: are you taking this as a gift or just a small gesture? I think if it’s perceived as a gift, it can lead to expectations. So, flowers are an innocent thing, but I can still agree with those who say that this investment is too much on the third date.
Small gestures are generally perceived positively at the beginning of flirting. But the overlooked point is this: If the other person is not yet clear about their feelings, such steps can make them anxious. In such a situation, it’s important to gauge the perception. Flowers are a safe choice, but if you’re still feeling anxious, you might opt for something more general.
Thank you for these ideas, I feel a bit clearer now. I should also add that they do small things during the meetings, like buying coffee. So it seems like they’re not acting expecting anything in return. Maybe flowers wouldn’t be too much, but I’m still not sure, of course.
I have heard something before, that if you do too much on the third date, it might seem like you’re waiting in a suit and tie. Especially with flowers and stuff, it has a bit of a wedding vibe. I don’t know if I’m thinking too classically, though.
I think there is definitely another issue here. Most people get excited when they hear the word “flower,” but if someone says “it’s too early,” they either have a past that has been heavily scrutinized or they seem like someone who is afraid of serious relationships. A few details with this person are very important.
What kind of mindset is it to call buying flowers on the third date a “big investment”? Is this an investment forum? Come on, he’s not buying a massive gold set or anything, he’s just talking about a simple flower. Is it normal to overthink this?
When I brought flowers on the third date, it didn’t carry any extreme meaning, nor did the other person find it strange. It may not be as significant as it’s blown up to be. Most likely, it’s considered a trivial gesture. The significance of such things resides in people’s minds.