I’m 26 years old, working but living with my family. Yesterday, I went out for coffee with my girlfriend, and I posted a story where her face is not very clear. My mom took a screenshot and sent it to the family WhatsApp group, and then my dad seriously asked who that kid is when he came home in the evening. One part of me doesn’t want to explain myself at this age, while another part thinks I should just stay quiet and explain so the atmosphere at home doesn’t get too tense. If you were in my place, would you draw a clear boundary or find a middle ground to keep the situation calm?
I couldn’t find anything to say about it, but it felt strange to me too. Having to hide your girlfriend at 26… My family would never interfere like that, thank God.
Do they know your girlfriend from before? Or did they just see her recently? You need to adjust your behavior accordingly.
@iki_dakika No, they saw it for the first time. But my dad is quite a tough guy, so I’ve always been a bit hesitant.
Look, your dad is strict, but what your mom did isn’t normal either. What’s with taking the story and sending it to the family group? It’s like you’re pretending that this didn’t happen.
This touches on the boundary issue. Since you live in the same house with your family, their expressed right to “interfere in your life” actually continues more easily with your silence. You need to speak up and set clear boundaries once. Otherwise, this “questioning” will never end.
You can’t solve it without talking. Speak openly.
Your relationship with your dad is one thing, and your mom’s habit of posting this story is another. One seems like self-control, while the other feels like a boundary violation. First, clarify which topic do you want to discuss.
@soncaykaldi This “drawing boundaries” stuff isn’t always a solution. Especially if your parents are strict, it can lead to bigger fights. Things can get really messy.