I have a very close friend who broke up badly with her ex-boyfriend. But I’m still following that guy on social media and occasionally liking his posts. The other day, while talking to my friend, I realized that this situation seems to bother her a bit. Do you think I should stop following him to avoid hurting my friend, or is there no need to? On one hand, I don’t want to feel like I owe anyone an explanation, but I also don’t want her to be upset.
6 Answers
6I had a similar situation back in the day. My friend had gone through some pretty bad stuff with her ex. I was following that guy, and my friend openly said she was uncomfortable. Honestly, I just unfollowed him because there was no need for her to feel that way. Plus, I had no business with the guy anyway.
In social dynamics, ‘loyalty’ in close friendships tends to be something that requires a bit more attention. If there’s a chance that you might do something that makes your friend feel worse, personal freedom in these areas can be a bit set aside. Opting out of following the child is completely a personal choice, but try to have an honest conversation with your friend to understand their sensitivities.
There’s also this: sure, I understand your friend, but isn’t she interfering with your preferences? The fact that she said, “Why are you still following her?” is basically pressure. Just because you like someone doesn’t mean you’re taking sides with her ex.
I thought a little more, actually my friend didn’t explain the topic in a very oppressive way. But I noticed that when we talk about him, his expression slightly changes. When I said they broke up badly, I was really referring to that kid. I’m definitely going to delete it just so that he doesn’t feel uneasy, but it’s a strange feeling.
Look, I think you should simply do this: just unfollow directly. It’s a simple action, your friend will be more comfortable, and there won’t be an issue. What happens just because you’re following the kid? There’s really no situation, at least don’t upset your close friend 
Honestly, I think this whole thing is pretty complicated. Now, it seems like we don’t really think too much about following people on social media, but following an ex really does seem wrong. Because your friend would naturally feel bad about it. Just put yourself in their shoes for a moment.