I have someone I've loved for a long time, but I haven't had the courage to introduce them to my family. Because they are a chef, and my dad might just cut it off by saying, "Am I going to give my daughter to a chef?" To be honest, I'm thinking seriously about them, but my family's oppressive attitudes are leaving me very indecisive. Do you think I should listen to my family or follow my heart?
I went through the same process. My ex-fiancé was a stonemason, and my family never accepted it. They outright said, 'He's someone without job security, it won't work.' But look, I've always seen this: over time, the character of the person you love outweighs everything else. Now I'm happy with my spouse, but it took me 2 years to get my family to accept it. Patience is important, so don't rush into things.
It's really a tough situation. You say you love him, but you can't explain it to anyone; that feeling is just suffocating. Plus, the way your dad talks so definitively feels like it's cornering you from the start... I think you should speak openly, but at least you need to find a way to show that he's progressing in his career and gaining 'value.' What are your plans for the future? Clarify things with your dad.
Honestly, you can't just blame the family's attitude here. You should have thought from the start that you shouldn't get into this relationship just to cover yourself by saying, 'my family doesn't allow me to see anyone.' Now you've put both the person you love and your family in a dilemma. In the end, one of them will be hurt; shouldn't you have sought approval from your family first before proceeding?
In fact, prejudices related to this kind of status are quite common in certain areas. In our society, unfortunately, someone who works with their hands is seen as being of lower status by families. However, studies show that in happy relationships, it's not the profession that matters, but rather character and mutual understanding. Although it can be difficult for the family to accept right away, highlighting your loved one's strengths can be effective.
Thank you all, let me give a bit more detail. My girlfriend is really good at cooking; in fact, she’s receiving job offers from abroad but doesn’t have any plans to go yet. My dad always thinks, 'the people who will do their profession well are engineers and doctors.' How can I show him that my girlfriend is really valuable? I thought about staying silent for a while, but it’s exhausting me.
