I've been with my girlfriend for a year, but recently I've noticed that whenever a problem arises, she shifts the responsibility onto me. For instance, last week our house got flooded, and she said, 'You'll handle it better.' Now we had an argument, and she's saying, 'You'll figure it out; I don't understand these things.' Is it always going to be like this, or am I just being too sensitive?
I experienced the same thing. My ex from three years ago was going through the same situation. We had debt at home, and it was always "you know better," the car was broken down, and it was "you'll figure it out"... Over time, it becomes a habit and everything is left as your responsibility. I spoke openly, but nothing changed. We broke up. I think you should try talking about it for a while.
So did it start all of a sudden? Was it like this in the beginning? Or have you just now noticed this habit of yours?
@derinderyaa At first, I didn't feel it much. But in the last 4-5 months, it seems like it started to increase. At first, it was small things, but then I noticed it in bigger matters like household chores-discussions and so on.
@aylinn I think you’re overreacting. Maybe they said "you can handle it" because of the skill difference, but why jump to breaking up right away? There’s no rule that everyone has to do everything equally.
This actually looks like a passive avoidance behavior. Your partner is shifting the responsibility onto you instead of facing the issues. This often happens with people who are perceived to have better problem-solving abilities. But it can be resolved if discussed, as they may be doing it unconsciously. Set clear boundaries.
@cankusray I'm not exaggerating. If you explain everything with skill differences, you won't get anywhere. So, will everyone be stuck only in what they're good at? A partner should provide support.
Ah, that "you'll handle it" sentence! Darling, that's just how our culture is. The woman takes care of everything, and the man just stands by. I think you should either get used to this trait without making it too difficult or, if you love him, you'll balance it out somehow. Overemphasizing it can sometimes wear down a relationship because 😬
For some, relationship means not sharing work but avoiding responsibility. Clear. And I think wasting time on analysis is unnecessary. 😐
@psikozelif you're right, but what if he's doing it on purpose? There are always people who exploit like that. Sometimes it's not enough, you need to draw a line.
