I want a nose job but my girlfriend doesn't, who should I believe?

I’ve been uncomfortable with my nose for a long time and I’m thinking about getting a small aesthetic procedure. But my boyfriend keeps saying, ‘You look better natural, just be confident.’ My family isn’t really supportive either, to be honest. But when I look in the mirror, I always feel like something is missing. Do you think it’s worth it? Or should I really learn to love myself as I am?

If your partner loves you for who you are, then it’s not about beauty, but sincerity. But if you feel unhappy when you look in the mirror, it’s hard to live with that feeling. Perhaps a small change could help you find balance. When making a decision, ask yourself: do you want this to make someone else happy, or is it truly for yourself?

But I think we need to stop and think for a moment; it won’t work by blaming others so much. You’ve said feeling incomplete in front of the mirror, but those things that create that ‘incompleteness’ might be the things you’re constantly putting into your mind, maybe influenced by what you see on social media. Is the problem your appearance or your perception?

In aesthetic surgeries, issues usually arise from expectations. That ‘small change’ can sometimes feel inadequate, and you start wanting more. If you decide to go ahead, talk to the doctor performing the procedure not only about the shape but also about the risks and the emotional process you might experience afterward. This part is often overlooked.

Here’s the thing, I tried to talk to my girlfriend but it’s always the same thing: ‘You’re naturally beautiful.’ She’s clearly saying she doesn’t want it, and my family is in the ‘it’s not necessary’ mode. But I’ve been thinking the same way for 3 years, I’ve thought a lot about it. It feels like what I want should be more important than what they think, I don’t know…

What kind of logic is this? Are you going to continue with something that makes you feel bad just because your partner doesn’t want it? But on the other hand, you’re saying “I’ve thought the same way for 3 years,” which means you’re not sure enough to take action. Maybe you really need to learn to make peace with yourself; I don’t know, it’s confusing.

If I were in that position, I would ask it directly with a clear sentence instead of letting it grow inside me. But I think the real focus should be on their tendency to become defensive or shift the topic back to you when answering.