We've been married for almost 4 years, but my spouse still says they're not ready for a child. Meanwhile, I can't overcome my desire to have a child any longer. This situation is creating a cold atmosphere between us. Do you think it's normal to wait this long? Or is it more reasonable to take things slow, as they say?
We've been through a similar situation. For three years, he said he didn't want kids, always making excuses about work. It turns out he had fears, obsessing over the thought of "what if I'm not a good father?" Could your partner be experiencing something similar?
I think you should talk about this issue in a more solution-oriented way. Maybe it would be a good idea to see a marriage therapist. There, they can express why they don't want it, and you can learn how to communicate your desire.
I felt like you were in a bit of a hurry, sorry about that. Four years isn't a long time. Maybe you need to try to understand your partner a little more. If you have a child before you're ready, it could lead to bigger issues.
It's normal for spouses to be at different emotional and mental preparedness levels in such situations. However, if it continues to be postponed, there could be an underlying anxiety, fear, or pressure. It's important to delve into its roots and seek support from a specialist if necessary.
Actually, I should add this; when I discuss this issue with my spouse, they often say that they don't feel ready, especially financially. But it seems to me that they're making excuses here because our financial situation is not bad.
I think it's very strange to reject such a big thing just by saying 'I'm not ready.' Maybe try talking a bit more openly with your partner or try to understand their fears about this 'not being ready' issue. But don't wear yourself out too much either.
So, have you ever discussed this topic in more detail? For example, when they say 'I'm not ready,' what exactly do they mean, and why don't they feel ready? Is it something psychological or is there another reason altogether? 😅
I'm sensing something else here, sorry but... Maybe he's avoiding it for another reason related to not wanting kids. For instance, is there a problem in the relationship, or is something going on in his inner world? 😳
Marriage, in your opinion, is completed with a child. I think you should talk about this a bit more clearly. Four years is a long time; if you don’t want a child, why are you even getting married? 🙄
