We have been living together for two years, but I have a cleaning obsession, and he is completely messy. For example, the other day a cereal box stayed in the kitchen for days. I keep reminding him about it, but he doesn't care at all. What should I do? I need to resolve this situation without cracking.
the same thing happened to me, my ex would leave his clothes in the middle of the house for days. we kept arguing, but in the end, he really didn't change. I think you should decide how much you can tolerate.
So, have you ever tried to talk seriously, like saying "this really impacts me"? Maybe the more you remind them, the less they care 🤦♀️
@kirmizikazak Actually, I've been serious a few times, but they brushed it off with an attitude like 'That's just how I am.' So we keep going back to the same point.
@soncaykaldi yes, but not everyone has to be like your ex. Sometimes people can take things seriously, maybe the approach is wrong.
I think these things can be resolved through communication; instead of reminding frequently, sit down and have a serious talk once. You can even make a list if necessary; like, who will do what tasks. Let's avoid the situation where it's like 'you do everything.' 😳
You said you have a cleaning obsession at the beginning of the question; maybe you should also question your own standards a bit? Could it possibly clash with someone who is really messy?
you can't live like this, it's obvious you're struggling.
How about splitting up the cleaning task and letting everyone tidy up their own mess? When everyone gets this worked up, no one will fix anything anyway 🫢
Could it be that if he's just saying "This is how I am" he's avoiding taking responsibility? I mean, if this is his area of laziness, then no matter how much you talk, it won't change. Have you ever thought about setting clearer boundaries? 🙂
"If that's how you are, fine, but why do you have to keep making others wake up? One would think at least once, you wouldn't want to be a burden to someone else. This has become normalized to be this relaxed.
I think saying "this is just who I am" is nothing but laziness. Not having a standard for cleanliness causes you to lose control. You can tolerate it to a certain extent, but in the end, order is important too 🙃
If there's no common order, everyone acts according to their own thoughts anyway. But those who are all about "this is how I am" end up crushing others at some point, without even realizing it. It seems to me that your order is sacrificing his comfort. How long can you endure it this way?
