When she brought the wedding invitation, she openly asked me for a quarter gold coin. I had never heard of such a thing before; it seemed very strange to me. Does she think I should give it to her, or does everyone do this? Would it be rude not to give it?
8 Answers
8Honestly, I’m hearing about something like this for the first time. Asking for a quarter right in someone’s face while giving an invitation… Was it some kind of joke? Because normally, people give the jewelry at the wedding. It’s really strange 
I couldn’t understand who you were talking about, buddy. Is it a close relative, a friend, or someone from the neighborhood?
@elif_soruyor She’s a friend, we used to be closer but we haven’t met much recently. I heard her family is going through some financial troubles, but it shocked me that she asked me like that to my face.
@soran I think you definitely should have turned that down. Someone who asks for something so direct will always keep asking. It’s not nice to be this shameless, regardless of anyone’s issues, and I hope no one takes offense.
In some regions, these things become like a custom. Especially in places where economic hardship is intense, people normalize asking for gifts instead of loans. But this isn’t the case everywhere in Turkey. You are not obliged to give, and it wouldn’t be inappropriate. You can find a suitable way to decline.
That used to happen in our village, actually. A symbolic gift would be given to the person who brought the invitation, but it wasn’t anything like a quarter gold coin. At most, it would be a handkerchief, or maybe a very small gift if you were really close. It seems like everyone has exaggerated a bit now.
@meltem_kara so it would happen in your village, we never have anything like this. This honestly feels like begging to me. No one should take it personally, everyone should prepare for their own wedding.
You guys are right, I also think I shouldn’t give it. But I don’t want to completely cut off the friendship. Maybe I’ll decline without pressing too much. Since they said it openly, I’m not sure what to do.