Friends, my fiancée started messaging her ex on social media just three weeks before our wedding date. I didn't know she hadn't deleted him, but what is this when things are this serious? Honestly, I'm angry, but on the other hand, I'm thinking, can anything really happen just through messages? What do you think, how should I react to this?
I had a similar experience. My fiancée messaged her ex two weeks before the wedding, and when I found out, she said, 'We're just friends.' But to be honest, my trust was gone, so I canceled the wedding. It turned out to be a pointless recovery process; no one was happy. I would say be careful 🤷♀️
How did you see the messaging details from your ex? Did you look secretly or did they kind of put it in front of you? I think this distinction is important.
@bisimceviri didn't put it in front of me of course, she left her messages open, I noticed it when the phone rang. It feels like it would have continued if I hadn't asked.
@makarnahikaye everyone is saying they immediately canceled, but is it that easy? A wedding has so much planning involved, families are part of it, and maybe the fiancé just experienced a silly nostalgia moment. Everything can't just start over like that 🙄
I think the content and context of the communication don't matter. Reaching out to an ex during such a critical time is already violating the boundaries in your relationship. If you overlook this, the boundaries will become even more blurred in the future. You need to react.
You shouldn't jump to conclusions without speaking openly. Emotional cheating isn't determined by a straightforward agreement like physical cheating; everyone's boundaries are different. What matters here is whether the things that bother you will be acknowledged by your fiancé.
The title is really tense. It's like the classic "people who bring up their exes" community. Does everyone have some trauma about this? I don’t get it.
an ex always causes trouble. period.
It's not just about the topic of an ex, but in general, I find it thought-provoking that such things come up during the engagement process. Why did they take such a risk so close to the wedding? One would feel a bit anxious, considering the possibility of being caught.
Maybe writing to an ex has to do with not feeling completely "over" your relationship. It's like reverting to an old habit under wedding stress. But I think what really needs to be discussed is how this affects your confidence. Were you able to express your discomfort to him fully?
