I’m engaged to the person I’m going to marry, and wedding preparations are ongoing. But when it comes to the gold for the wedding, a fight breaks out. My mom says, ‘The gold belongs to the bride,’ while his family insists, ‘It should be shared.’ It was hard to express my own opinion. I always feel like I have to please someone. Why has the gold issue become such a big deal? How do you think it can be resolved?
5 Answers
5Annen is absolutely right, gold belongs to the bride. It has always been like that for us. What does it mean to say it’s for common use? This is basically like stealing the woman’s rights. I say your husband should stand up for you a bit and put your family in their place.
But you seem a bit too rigid to me. When they say it’s going to be shared, are they saying something bad? After all, this is marriage, everything is already shared. Instead of sticking to your mother’s exact words, why not try to find a middle ground so that everyone feels comfortable?
If issues like this aren’t resolved before the wedding, they can lead to bigger problems down the line. It’s generally recommended for couples to create a written agreement; for example, setting aside a certain amount of gold for savings. You don’t necessarily have to involve the families. Sit down calmly and clarify things, otherwise the tension will increase.
There’s this situation, my mom is actually very particular about financial matters. In the past, she and my dad had issues because of their savings. That’s why she wants to secure certain things. But my fiancée is also trying hard to ensure her family’s say in things, and we haven’t been able to find a balance.
I understand your mother’s past struggles, but your marriage is different from hers. And is your fiancé’s family right to interfere? How much are they contributing to the wedding expenses? Maybe that’s why they’re calling it ‘joint,’ have you thought about that?